Thursday, October 20, 2011

The stick that changed....


my life. Yep that is exactly what I was thinking last night as my sugar charged daughter  *damn she found my PMS emergency M&M stash* was foaming running up and down the hallway screaming go..go...go...chasing the fur monkeys.  In the mean time I am sitting on the bed trying to hang on to the last 3 brain cells I have left after the tiring day I had with LDG.  I am thinking to myself how the hell I got here? Then I remember it was that damn stick!  Obviously I did not have sex with a stick...well kinda ...oh you know what I mean.

I guess I was just skipping down memory lane with myself....It is hard to believe that almost 2 years ago a plus on an ugly off white stick changed our lives forever.....I remember the day so clearly....I believe it was the Friday after Father's Day. The weeks before that day my whole body was just not my body. I felt super bloated, I was crying at the drop of the hat, could not get out of bed, had zero energy and my boobs were HUGE. I was calling my hubby at work just crying and I could not figure wtf what going on?  I know your probably saying..come on girl figure it out you were prego. That thought never ever crossed my mind.... Let me give you some background. I was married prior to my current hubby never got prego, never had an "accident" in my life time, and was told many years ago because of my bouts with ovarian cyst I was probably going to be able to have kids - the easy way.  I never pushed the subject because I did not see rug rats in my future. I  thought I was to selfish, did not have the patience and really was not to fond of kids.  I was at peace with the thought of not having any and my hubby hated kids so we were alll good. It was hubby and I against the world!
4 months before this all went down I had lost my mother to a horrible battle with cancer. It sucked  - as a family we were side swiped by this horrible POS disease so I just figured it was my body shutting down from that. I had never ever been late you could set a timer to my period, so maybe that should have been the first f*ckin clue that something was amiss.
 During this time I was speaking to my SIL about this and she is like "Girl you sound like you are pregnant." I was like shut the f*ck up their is no way I am pregnant I am just stressed and maybe a little depressed". Three days after that very conversation...I was sitting home bored and bloated...I was tired of crying and decided what the hell let me just take a pregnancy test for the hell of it...what do I have to loose, it is going to be negative anyways...so there.   I drank about 3 sobe diet green teas and peed away on the stick which is kinda hard if you really think about it. I stepped away from the stick and left it in the bathroom.  After what seemed like forever I went in & checked the results.

HOLY SHIT....is that....no it can't be...it just can't be...there is no friggin way that I am knocked up...No way...OK chic get it together....focus...focus...*wave drama hands in front of face* Sparkles...focus..I think I am going to be sick...OK....first thing need to ...call...husband...he is going to freak the f*ck out.....WTF..... I am going to be 40 when I squeeze this kid out..I am too old...OMG....WTF!


Yeah...hello hubby...ymmmm...ok I just took one of those pregnancy stick thingys and it is saying I am positive.... even though one of the light blue lines is really not dark but kinda of faded so it is probably wrong...I got a defective stick......yeah..yeah that is it...right? OK ...don't tell me to f*cken relax....I am relaxed.... please go get me another stick at drug store so I can verify that this is so wrong..the ones that say prego or not prego. No more plus sticks.

Hubby comes home with stick(s), green teas and a very weird look on his face..Chug...chug...chug..pee..peee.....peeee.  This time hubby goes in and checks the stick....he comes out with this shocked and pale face and he shows me the stick. Black and white, no mistake you are pregnant...girl.  To this day I remember a wave of emotions that just kicked my ass. I was scared, overwhelmed and so so very scared. I knew my mom was responsible for this miracle and I know that she had allot to do with this work from "upstairs".  My mom always wanted me to have kids and and I always fought against it.  She was right...It is hard to believe that something we never wanted in our lives could bring us both so much happiness and terror....Life has a way of throwing you some jabs and this one was the mother of all punches.....But you know what I know for a fact we would have it no other way......

14 comments:

Babaloo said...

Your story reminds me just how crazy this life is and how things happen out of the blue that we never expected. Your little miracle is adorable too, I totally want that hat she'd wearing. LOL!

Mariebop said...

OMG!! That is sooooo going to be me if I ever get pregnant! You just gave me a glipse of my potential future. LOL!!

Great post. Your little bugger is adorable!

Not Winning Mom of the Year said...

MB, what a great story... and what a great idea to write about it. You've inspired me to do the same..

Cyn said...

girl -- even though i had two children very young -- i felt the exact same way when i found out i was preggo with skylar -- but like you, i cannot imagine life without her & what a blessing to our lives. she is the glue that bonded our blended family!

Cyn said...

ohhhhh & ldg is soooo stinkin' cute!!! how can ya not adore that face?!?!

SoCal Sweetheart said...

oooooh its going around huh,, what a way to find out. You make beautiful babies so that is a plus. i know the first reaction is a shock. what a perfect time right.. tryin to save money and this happens. well i am a firm believer on things happening for a reason! <3 congrats =)

Mommy Bags said...

ohhhh nooo SoCal Sweetheart I am soooo not prego again I am just skipping down memory lane about when I got prego with my little one ....i am good with one
;0}

ana said...

Great story MB! All of my freak out feelings from that darn stick came rushing back as I was reading. *sigh* good times :)

Michael Ann said...

I could relate to this so well. I had Poly Cystic Ovaries and was told it would be very difficult for me to ever get pg, so I didn't think it would happen to me. Like you, I was married once before too, and never got pg. That I know of.... I've had 4 miscarriages so I often wonder if there were times I was pg back then but didn't know it. Anyhow, sometimes I look at my two sons and wonder at the miracle of their existence.

Mommy2¢ said...

Awe... this was Awesome!! Loved it! It gave me chills. Especially the part about your mom. You're little girl is Ahh-Dor-Ahh-Blll!!!

Ronni said...

The same thing happened to me. How did everyone know but me?????

My craving for KFC was out of control. Aidan's dad came home with chicken and a pregnancy test. It had one of those faint blue lines, too.

When I took the test a few days later, that line was super dark and came up fast. Yup.

Life changing for sure.

Sheri said...

Great post! Love the part about your mom and your honesty. Kids rock! Gray hair, dirty diapers and all!

SoCal Sweetheart said...

oh goood wow i must of read that wrong i am sooo sorry lol forgive me and hate me for that lol i am a clutz like that sometimes, but hey thats a good thing ur not lol! yay lets go grab a drink on me

KERRY said...

I bet deep down that you're a big softy :)
She is adorable how could you not be?
Everything happens for a reason (I think).

Feeling the love......