Friday, February 27, 2015

Research and get yourself some knowledge.....

on this hell on earth called per meno. I know that this is probably what you do not want to read about but when I started this blog I wanted to make sure that I always remained truthful and told you exactly what the eff what going on. I would never be one of those blog with bells and whistles and post about pintrest boards and lies. To this day I have remained authentic me. And authentic me right now is going through a period of emotions that are beyond my control. I am going to post about what I am going through right now in my life. If you do not want  to read it then move on and stop following me. I am however going to vomit as much information on what is helping me during this period of "change" in my life. If it helps out another woman out there I will feel great...Your are not going insane this ride of emotions and uncomfortable feelings is NORMAL. YEP EFFIN normal. It is funny because when your going through the power surge of emotional vomit you are convinced you are going insane. I say this now ladies who are experiencing just a bit of change on your cycle start reading up on this shit because when it happens it will happen out of left field and if you do not know what is going on your convinced that something terribly wrong is going on with your body.

It is shocking to me how many women have no idea that this shit can hit out of the blue and changes your way of life overnight.  I keep getting asked how old I am and I am like 45 your to young nope I am not this peri stage starts anywhere from 7-10 years before the dry up cycle. I feel like peri is like really bad foreplay and the menopause is the big bang.Not all women will go through the same thing. I always had really bad ass PMS and I have always been very in tune with my body so I noticed that things were beginning to shift about 3 1/2 years ago. My PMS was getting worse and their were days were I was an emotional mess. I could always deal with the physical part of periods but the emotional part just triggered hell on my life. How the fuck are you in the middle of a grocery store and start crying for now apparent reason. This would frustrate me to no end and when I get frustrated it would trigger my anxiety which I have had for the last 6 years and with proper eating habits, sleep, exercise and an amazing acupuncturist  I have learned to tame it however with this new band of emotions the gremlin is resurfacing not everyday but enough that I do not like it visiting my hood again.  I have worked very hard  to tame the beast and it sucks that because of no choice of my own I get to relive the nightmare. I feel that peri is this dark ass secret that no woman wants to talk about and does not want to accept that is happening. Well let me tell ya sista it will.  And my big ass mouth has had not problem sharing the pain and the solutions with me fellow women folk.

The part that is most frustrating is that I can't just crawl into bed when I am tired or feeling overly emotional or bloated as hell - I need to put my game face on I have a 5 year old that needs me and it not fair that she has to go trough this crap with me. I am trying my best to keep my shit together and making this transition as easy as possible. In the mean time hugs and kisses and keep it real.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

The shit they did not....

see that caption that reads 30-50 well I have had the joy of starting this
teach you in school.......I have always been really upfront with my blog and honest so today is going to be a doozy of a bitchfest since I have been experiencing "issues" and would love to get it off  my chest. Because I know that life is not fair but this crap is beyond not fair. We all get old and with that comes the set of old problems bones ache, bit foggy and bit more farty when your a woman you get an extra dose of special toppings on this pizza we call life.

I knew that this was bound to happen and ANYONE who is a woman who states that they will never and allow themselves to go through this is also full of BULLshit! Because baby no matter what you do, what you eat, how much you damn exercise and how you process your thoughts little bits of hormonal changes are going to affect your life when you are a woman that becomes a certain age that is just scientific fact. I have been reading, researching this crap for 2 years as far as buying the Suzanne Summers book on this subject...yes yes I did because you know what she fought cancer and beat peri/meno, looks amazing and she has done this all organically and holistically.

It should read I am to young for this SHIT

In this country we have a real issues with fixing problems with a band aid and medication without going internally to see what the cause of all this could be. I have decided to ride this effin emotionally and annoying pony the non med way and even though it has worked sometimes their is a month here and there were you get hit with a brick and you can't get back on the damn horse no matter how hard you try. Why is it that they do not explain this shit more when your in HS is it because they do not want to scare the living shit out of you and the changes that will happen to your body when you reach a certain age it is like I am going through fucken puberty again but in reverse and this is just PERImenopause  Now let me tell you

I eat right,
I try and exercise and get out daily,
I fucken do acupuncture on certain months weekly
I take liquid herbs daily you would not believe the list of shit I digest daily - I feel like Samantha Jones from SITC2 sitting at a desk rubbing creams all over my body
I started Mindful Meditation daily to keep the damn stress at bay because the anxiety is coming out of nowhere especially during my monthly
I cut drinking to a minimum I am talking barely
Got rid of caffeine
Keep busy SO CAN SOMEONE tell me why the fuck I feel like punching people in the face daily and feel like I am in a fog of just exhaustion. And please don't say depression because that is not it I get up I am happy I am just fucken frustrated that we need to go through this shit. Is it not enough that we bleed from the time we are 11/13 until mid 40's then we have to deal with this extra baggage!

I have always had a bit of anxiety is is part of the Italiana DNA - their is not one friend of mine who comes from this background that does not seem to be suffering from some kind of worry/anxiety it just seems to have escalated in the past few years. I have noticed that in the last month my sleep patterns have been affected and when those are affected my whole body and mind is off triggering my anxiety. I have no idea how people with insomnia go through daily life my husbands sleeps like 5 hours a night and he runs a company how the fuck does he do that and deal with my headcase of hormones that has been affecting me for the last 3 weeks??????? and damn can we say tired as fuck I am usually the energizer bunny and walking up the stairs is kicking my ass.

And you know what makes this suck the most is that I have this beautiful 5 year old who has to deal with mommy being tired sometimes and mommy being super cranky - a husband who has been my rock during these past few weeks. I am going through this slowly day by day. I know that i will get back on the horse in the mean time it is fun to bitch about it and I have found many other women out there who are going through the same thing so it has helped a bit.

OK can we now talk about the effin hot flashes????? TBC.....

Feeling the love......