Thursday, February 12, 2015

The shit they did not....

see that caption that reads 30-50 well I have had the joy of starting this
teach you in school.......I have always been really upfront with my blog and honest so today is going to be a doozy of a bitchfest since I have been experiencing "issues" and would love to get it off  my chest. Because I know that life is not fair but this crap is beyond not fair. We all get old and with that comes the set of old problems bones ache, bit foggy and bit more farty when your a woman you get an extra dose of special toppings on this pizza we call life.

I knew that this was bound to happen and ANYONE who is a woman who states that they will never and allow themselves to go through this is also full of BULLshit! Because baby no matter what you do, what you eat, how much you damn exercise and how you process your thoughts little bits of hormonal changes are going to affect your life when you are a woman that becomes a certain age that is just scientific fact. I have been reading, researching this crap for 2 years as far as buying the Suzanne Summers book on this subject...yes yes I did because you know what she fought cancer and beat peri/meno, looks amazing and she has done this all organically and holistically.

It should read I am to young for this SHIT

In this country we have a real issues with fixing problems with a band aid and medication without going internally to see what the cause of all this could be. I have decided to ride this effin emotionally and annoying pony the non med way and even though it has worked sometimes their is a month here and there were you get hit with a brick and you can't get back on the damn horse no matter how hard you try. Why is it that they do not explain this shit more when your in HS is it because they do not want to scare the living shit out of you and the changes that will happen to your body when you reach a certain age it is like I am going through fucken puberty again but in reverse and this is just PERImenopause  Now let me tell you

I eat right,
I try and exercise and get out daily,
I fucken do acupuncture on certain months weekly
I take liquid herbs daily you would not believe the list of shit I digest daily - I feel like Samantha Jones from SITC2 sitting at a desk rubbing creams all over my body
I started Mindful Meditation daily to keep the damn stress at bay because the anxiety is coming out of nowhere especially during my monthly
I cut drinking to a minimum I am talking barely
Got rid of caffeine
Keep busy SO CAN SOMEONE tell me why the fuck I feel like punching people in the face daily and feel like I am in a fog of just exhaustion. And please don't say depression because that is not it I get up I am happy I am just fucken frustrated that we need to go through this shit. Is it not enough that we bleed from the time we are 11/13 until mid 40's then we have to deal with this extra baggage!

I have always had a bit of anxiety is is part of the Italiana DNA - their is not one friend of mine who comes from this background that does not seem to be suffering from some kind of worry/anxiety it just seems to have escalated in the past few years. I have noticed that in the last month my sleep patterns have been affected and when those are affected my whole body and mind is off triggering my anxiety. I have no idea how people with insomnia go through daily life my husbands sleeps like 5 hours a night and he runs a company how the fuck does he do that and deal with my headcase of hormones that has been affecting me for the last 3 weeks??????? and damn can we say tired as fuck I am usually the energizer bunny and walking up the stairs is kicking my ass.

And you know what makes this suck the most is that I have this beautiful 5 year old who has to deal with mommy being tired sometimes and mommy being super cranky - a husband who has been my rock during these past few weeks. I am going through this slowly day by day. I know that i will get back on the horse in the mean time it is fun to bitch about it and I have found many other women out there who are going through the same thing so it has helped a bit.

OK can we now talk about the effin hot flashes????? TBC.....


joeh said...

I am going to just slowly step away from this post...

I'll be back when it is safe.

Mommy Bags said...

Step away quickly Cranky no sudden moves

Feeling the love......