Why are so many people...

scared of the dentist? I ask myself this question every-time I have to go. I literally have panic attacks just thinking about my appointment that is coming up. I break out in a sweat, can't sleep, all I think about until I get into the dreaded office is what the hell they are going to find this time and what the hell kind of hell will I be put through.  Every.single.effin.time I go to the dentist they find something. Be a new cavity, a root canal that was not settled properly and or some other shit I can never just go to the dentist get a cleaning and be on my way. I have been terrified of the dentist since I was a kid - maybe it was because one time in when we were Italy {not a place known for stellar oral care} I was slapped in the face by one because I had no idea what the fuck was going and and what he was doing - so yes ma'am I was a bit over the top scared - but for fuck I was a 7 and he put his hands on me. In those "days" I guess that is how shit was done in the old country - if that shit happened to day it would be filmed, placed on YouTube and his ass would be in court. SO from that point forward the seed was planted and too me the dentist was the EVIL one. Every single dentist appt for me was hell - this was the time before Yelp and people placing reviews so you knew what you were getting. It was a toss up who the hell you ended up with. I went in for cavity refills that would take 4 hours because dental centers would stack their appts. and you would end up with one dentist doing about 6 clients back and forth. I had dentist drill into my exposed nerve because they did not give me enough Novocaine. I have had dentist fill my tooth were the root was still not killed and let me tell you you do not know what pain is until you have experienced that. Let's just say most of the dentist I have been to have SUCKED balls. Awful just awful some of these offices look like they have not been touched since the late 50's and it scares me to step into the chair.

All I see is this when I am at the dentist

I also have a mouth for whatever reason that gets cavities very easily even when I brush and kind of floss. I need to get better at the flossing thing and going to the dentist every 6 months but when you have anxiety just thinking about going in it makes it crazier to go.  I had found a great dentist 2 1/2 years ago -  I moved and he retired so now I have to work myself into a frenzy with a new one and need to get that trust level before I feel "safe" again. Being in that chair with those little pointy sharp things coming at me makes me feel out of control and vulnerable.  The thing I am trying to do is suck it up for the sake of my daughter. I do not want her to have the same fear that I experienced. Even when I go to GG's dental appt. I break out in a sweat. But let me tell you if I had the kind of dental office my daughter had I would not have this fear today. I make sure I drill {ha ha} into her that she needs to take care of her oral care so she does not end up with a bunch of crap her mom has had to go through.

So today is going to be a doozy for me - I just want to get in that chair and get it done and over it. Why do I have a feeling this is going to be a long ass day.....