Friday, February 27, 2015

Research and get yourself some knowledge.....

on this hell on earth called per meno. I know that this is probably what you do not want to read about but when I started this blog I wanted to make sure that I always remained truthful and told you exactly what the eff what going on. I would never be one of those blog with bells and whistles and post about pintrest boards and lies. To this day I have remained authentic me. And authentic me right now is going through a period of emotions that are beyond my control. I am going to post about what I am going through right now in my life. If you do not want  to read it then move on and stop following me. I am however going to vomit as much information on what is helping me during this period of "change" in my life. If it helps out another woman out there I will feel great...Your are not going insane this ride of emotions and uncomfortable feelings is NORMAL. YEP EFFIN normal. It is funny because when your going through the power surge of emotional vomit you are convinced you are going insane. I say this now ladies who are experiencing just a bit of change on your cycle start reading up on this shit because when it happens it will happen out of left field and if you do not know what is going on your convinced that something terribly wrong is going on with your body.

It is shocking to me how many women have no idea that this shit can hit out of the blue and changes your way of life overnight.  I keep getting asked how old I am and I am like 45 your to young nope I am not this peri stage starts anywhere from 7-10 years before the dry up cycle. I feel like peri is like really bad foreplay and the menopause is the big bang.Not all women will go through the same thing. I always had really bad ass PMS and I have always been very in tune with my body so I noticed that things were beginning to shift about 3 1/2 years ago. My PMS was getting worse and their were days were I was an emotional mess. I could always deal with the physical part of periods but the emotional part just triggered hell on my life. How the fuck are you in the middle of a grocery store and start crying for now apparent reason. This would frustrate me to no end and when I get frustrated it would trigger my anxiety which I have had for the last 6 years and with proper eating habits, sleep, exercise and an amazing acupuncturist  I have learned to tame it however with this new band of emotions the gremlin is resurfacing not everyday but enough that I do not like it visiting my hood again.  I have worked very hard  to tame the beast and it sucks that because of no choice of my own I get to relive the nightmare. I feel that peri is this dark ass secret that no woman wants to talk about and does not want to accept that is happening. Well let me tell ya sista it will.  And my big ass mouth has had not problem sharing the pain and the solutions with me fellow women folk.

The part that is most frustrating is that I can't just crawl into bed when I am tired or feeling overly emotional or bloated as hell - I need to put my game face on I have a 5 year old that needs me and it not fair that she has to go trough this crap with me. I am trying my best to keep my shit together and making this transition as easy as possible. In the mean time hugs and kisses and keep it real.


Thursday, February 12, 2015

The shit they did not....

see that caption that reads 30-50 well I have had the joy of starting this
teach you in school.......I have always been really upfront with my blog and honest so today is going to be a doozy of a bitchfest since I have been experiencing "issues" and would love to get it off  my chest. Because I know that life is not fair but this crap is beyond not fair. We all get old and with that comes the set of old problems bones ache, bit foggy and bit more farty when your a woman you get an extra dose of special toppings on this pizza we call life.

I knew that this was bound to happen and ANYONE who is a woman who states that they will never and allow themselves to go through this is also full of BULLshit! Because baby no matter what you do, what you eat, how much you damn exercise and how you process your thoughts little bits of hormonal changes are going to affect your life when you are a woman that becomes a certain age that is just scientific fact. I have been reading, researching this crap for 2 years as far as buying the Suzanne Summers book on this subject...yes yes I did because you know what she fought cancer and beat peri/meno, looks amazing and she has done this all organically and holistically.

It should read I am to young for this SHIT

In this country we have a real issues with fixing problems with a band aid and medication without going internally to see what the cause of all this could be. I have decided to ride this effin emotionally and annoying pony the non med way and even though it has worked sometimes their is a month here and there were you get hit with a brick and you can't get back on the damn horse no matter how hard you try. Why is it that they do not explain this shit more when your in HS is it because they do not want to scare the living shit out of you and the changes that will happen to your body when you reach a certain age it is like I am going through fucken puberty again but in reverse and this is just PERImenopause  Now let me tell you

I eat right,
I try and exercise and get out daily,
I fucken do acupuncture on certain months weekly
I take liquid herbs daily you would not believe the list of shit I digest daily - I feel like Samantha Jones from SITC2 sitting at a desk rubbing creams all over my body
I started Mindful Meditation daily to keep the damn stress at bay because the anxiety is coming out of nowhere especially during my monthly
I cut drinking to a minimum I am talking barely
Got rid of caffeine
Keep busy SO CAN SOMEONE tell me why the fuck I feel like punching people in the face daily and feel like I am in a fog of just exhaustion. And please don't say depression because that is not it I get up I am happy I am just fucken frustrated that we need to go through this shit. Is it not enough that we bleed from the time we are 11/13 until mid 40's then we have to deal with this extra baggage!

I have always had a bit of anxiety is is part of the Italiana DNA - their is not one friend of mine who comes from this background that does not seem to be suffering from some kind of worry/anxiety it just seems to have escalated in the past few years. I have noticed that in the last month my sleep patterns have been affected and when those are affected my whole body and mind is off triggering my anxiety. I have no idea how people with insomnia go through daily life my husbands sleeps like 5 hours a night and he runs a company how the fuck does he do that and deal with my headcase of hormones that has been affecting me for the last 3 weeks??????? and damn can we say tired as fuck I am usually the energizer bunny and walking up the stairs is kicking my ass.

And you know what makes this suck the most is that I have this beautiful 5 year old who has to deal with mommy being tired sometimes and mommy being super cranky - a husband who has been my rock during these past few weeks. I am going through this slowly day by day. I know that i will get back on the horse in the mean time it is fun to bitch about it and I have found many other women out there who are going through the same thing so it has helped a bit.

OK can we now talk about the effin hot flashes????? TBC..... ◦

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Mommy Exhaustion.......

is for real folks and I am here to tell you that it is not funny and not some made up BS SAHM decided to come up with because they have all these effin time on their hands. Nope this goes for the SAHM and the work mommies and this little bit of ME is fo reals. I have been absent from my blog for a bit and I have learned time and time again that when this happens I am not a better person for it. I have been gone not because I was on some special project or vacation but I have been busy raising a child. A child that I adore more than life itself, and child I was blessed with and a child that makes me happy everyday. I have an amazing husband who is the world to me and supports me in everything I have ever wanted to do. A family close by to help me and I have made some amaZing new friends. I love the area where I am no living, my husbands works is crazy great. Life is good. I am more exhausted now then when the little one was a baby.... I am happy but f*cken tired...yo.....WTF is going on????

My body/mind has been kicked in the ass the last week and I am so physically and mentally exhausted that I cannot see straight. I mean Night of the Living Dead exhausted y'all. Like I am getting 7 hours of sleep but waking up exhausted. So much that all I want to do is go right back into bed and go back to sleep. That is not me never has been so of course your worrying machine goes up and with my type A everything needs to be just so personality my anxiety has been at an all time high which has resulted in a couple of pretty good zingers of anxiety attacks which I have not had in forever. With the help of holistic medicine I had pretty much made it dormant.  I have lived with anxiety for over 6 years not I know what it is I know that when anxiety reels its ugly ass self when I do not take care of me.

Now I have lived with this Italian worry shit all my life however with the help of exercise, acupuncture, herbs and essential oils{sound like a hippy right..totally not}I have succeeded in kicking this BS in the ass however in the past few months I have not been taking care of me like I usually have and I believe this has spiraled me going down this path.  The last few months from October to the present I have been on the super go, never stop, I have no help, do everything myself kind of gal, Yes I do have my husbands help I however during the week it is all me until he gets home to help out.
I have been interviewing, touring and filling out applications which are on college level in order to get into kindergarten here in the city where I reside in CA. Spent the last two month planning a 5 year old bday party and just over scheduling my dumb ass self. Volunteering, redoing, organizing, dog taking care of and  appts, doctor appts, trying to start getting myself scheduled for classes and overall a pleather of bday parties, events and the everyday shit that life hands you.......I have been trying to be Super Mom.  Life has not stopped and I have not been able to take a break. I have not had time to chill out and take in life. I have done what many people have been doing lately is over scheduling LIFE. And I am now paying for it.

Of course being worried about my so tired ass stirs up all types of things over worrying brain of mine which triggered my anxiety. WHich one of my friends labeled the Evil Gremlin for she to has gone through the same thing.   When I was speaking to another mom she suggested I look up Mommy Exhaustion/Mother Burn Out on the Internet. I thought this shit has got to be made up and thinking that nothing much was going to come up...To my surprise a shitload came up....When I checked out the 'symptoms" I was like HOLY shit that is exactly what I am feeling like down to the total ass exhaustion and irritability.

Now that I know WTF is wrong with me...I can work on getting myself back to my old self. One thing I am going to have to do is make sure that I am my number one priority - might sound selfish but if I am not OK I cannot be OK for my family. For me to be OK it is called working out. I usually work out 4-5 times a week in the last 3 weeks I have probably worked out twice because of the massive shit I have had going on in my and husbands schedule. It has been insane and that is my fault for over doing me. I cannot feel guilty if I decide that no dammit I will not be able to go to GG's jujitsu for one night or I decide to skip one week of dance class because I am just that exhausted. I have to learn to be ok to leave the house without making the bed one day before I do the 800 other things I do throughout the day. Now I get it I am a SAHM  and I do not have an outside the home work but you know what what I do is a job a 24/7 job without breaks. I have been trying to take classes for the last 5 years for me and a future part time business this year it is going to happen as soon as my little one will be in school full time. Maybe this sounds like a bunch of waaa waaaa waaaa but you know what if I can't waaaa on my damn blog where the F am I going to. As a mom you always have to be "on". We can never admit when we feel defeated and just not into all the political BS that comes with being a mom.

My name is Mommy Bags and I am one effin tired mother......


Sunday, December 7, 2014

What used to happen then....

and what happens now.  As you know I like to bitch about how old I am getting and how things have changed and it is so apparent during he holiday season dinner parties and many many Persecco cheers that my ass is getting old. Hangovers at 40 and hangovers at 30 totally different thing. The kicker here is I now hydrate with water after each drink and still in pain a week later.

What a Friday starts out like after the shit load of stress that Halloween from this dreaded Xmas brings you...The f8cken Xmas music alone could drive you to daily alcohol intake

Drinking and partying in your 30's

Hangover in your 30's Jack in the Crack drive thru  and about 100 tacos with a back shot of aspirin and you are good to go onto the next fiesta

Drinking and partying in your 40's - you still think you can party like you did in your 30's so you try and keep up figuring out that the next morning is not going to be that bad....Right?!?

Ah wish your ass looked that good the next morning or when vomiting on your shoes from the night before....

YOU NEED food must have food cannot drive must be delivered and they need to do it quick - nothing else works but carbs, carbs and more carbs

Happy weekend............................... ◦

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Suck it up.....

Yep sorry post a bit late......

Yes we are coming here to rant again but hey isn't this what this blog is all about? As some of you are aware I am a Halloween maniac I love it, it's fun, I love all parts from the decorating, the colors and the passing out of the candy. What I do not like is what is happening to this holiday. With anything that is visually and usually fun their are always people who want to shit on it...Now before you get your witches tutus in a bunch I don't mean the entire population but their is always a select few who just have time to make everything so effin impossible and boring that you want to smack yourself in the face. I am talking about people who want others to decorate their houses not scary in order for their kids not to be scared....WHat are you serious last time I checked a homeowners owns their house and if they decided they want zombies and body parts that is their front lawn that is their own damn business and for you to actually have the nerve to go up to neighbors and say to them please don't decorate this way because little Mr. Pricky is scared is a bunch of BULLshit. If your child is scared of the evil looking decorated houses then skip it and go to the unicorn farts and fairy rainbows house down the street. I am sure they can fill your need with the smiling pumpkins and happy ghosts.

It is all around me kids(some)  who have become scared of their own shadows, kids that cry at the drop of a hat over NOTHINing. Kids that have zero common sense and kids that are so coddled that they become useless adults. Now I know that I am pretty hardcore as a parent but you know what I am doing something right with the little person that I am raising. Please, thank you, may I and includes all other in her play world. I am the first one to admit when my little one is an asshole, so no I am not one of those parents that claims their child is perfect because you know what none of them are.

My daughter walks by our Halloween decorations like it is no big deal because you know why people I sat down and explained to her that this shit is FAKE not real made out of plastic - the same plastic that their dear old Elsa dolls and Barbies are made out of. Just because the outside is a little creepier and less pretty does not make it scary.  We should be worried about some of the living walking people that are on our planet instead of a bunch of plastic people you buy from the Halloween Superstore.

Between the no sugar no scary Halloween I am beginning to think that this holiday will be obsolete in a few years just like thanksgiving is being mutilated little by little every year with stores opening on Thanksgiving Day. All I can say is f8ckin  RELAX people it is only a bit of candy and scary things your child will be fine.

Note: My house was the SHit this Halloween got a crap load of kids in a hood where I was told was not a huge Halloween corridor. We kicked ass and took names and next year I am go automatic with the zombies. BTW all the little "scared" kids I heard about loved it!!!!! ◦

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