Tuesday, November 29, 2011

What is it ladies?????

Hey Mama's, 
I am in a pickle this morning.... I am PMSing my balls off and I feel bad for any mOfO who gets in my way.....My lovely daughter got up and the butt crack of dawn this morning and now she refuses to eat anything unless she is under the table because I really f*cking think she thinks she is one of the dogs!  Hope this is a faze......Hey as long as she is eating..My brain is lacking any brain cells in order to put together a normal post.....forgive me.....I am heading to the gym so I can work some of this aggression that I get an extra load of each month....So below is an oldy but a goody was one of my first post that I did way back in June when  I first started blogging......Sometimes is sucks being a woman!
with our "time of the month" that turns us into massive garbage pits? I try to eat healthy and organically everyday.  But one week before the "thing" takes over my body I turn into the human barracuda of junk food. All I want is crap...If I could swim in a tub of chocolate and sky dive in a bin of Doritos I would be one happy ass camper! This is "food" that usually does not appeal to me but during "the time" it does.  It is crazy I can wipe out 5 pigs in the blanket from Trader Joe's and I feel like crap about it the next day.  But I have no control on the cravings. I figure it is my body telling me that my hormone levels are off and I need to go for it. I can always work it out in the am on one of the torture machines at the gym. Just another awesome pleasure of being a woman. How did we get the short end of the stick...ladies?  If you think about it we only have a few good years of climbing trees before we are slaves of the padding...We start our lives sporting a diaper, we then get our special friend, {depending on how quickly a female develops it could be anywhere between 10 to 14} there is then a 45 plus year ride with whatever female product you decide to go with. Oh...... then we have the pleasure of bearing children. Yeah..yeah the miracle of child birth...... come one..... not fun when you are going through 9 months of don't eat this, don't do this, no wine, no sushi no cute clothes.....and let's not get started on the actual physical labor.  PL-EA-S-E they lie to you when they say you can just breath through your nose focus and it will all be better.  BULLSHIT......!!! Where is the needle and I need you to fill it up please! You wanna give me some anti anxiety in the cocktail mix yes...please!

However it is all worth it when you first see your child....but the whole process kinda sucks....After that roller coaster of fun...we have menopause to look forward to...YEAH! I have done allot of reading on the "subject" since I am almost 42 it is time for me to get started on anything that will make it all better...including reading Suzanne Somers book and researching the holistic approach to the big MP. I believe in being fully prepared......Let the vitamins and yak fat begin...I will not do the hormone route that is for sure.

I know..... I sound pretty bitchy today...but hey it can't always be roses and ponies.  Whooo.... there is the ding to the timer on the stove. I had a craving.... just baked chocolate chip cookies. See I told you so....WTF

Peace out......


Meg Issacs said...

haha... This is me today! You spoke to me... there are people like me!I'm going to cry :')

Andrea said...

Ooooh, PMS...sometimes I feel compelled to say the whole thing with emphasis on the word "SYNDROME". I was feeling the joy of that last week trying to get ready to travel for the holidays. I was on the phone with a friend who wanted to remind me what to be thankful for...um, seriously? I tried taking vitamins, at the advice of my gyn, and those made my tummy upset all day--yay!

KERRY said...

Haha funny, love how the timer went ding!! I hear ya, it sux!!

Feeling the love......