Monday, January 9, 2012

Nooooo your body does.....


not go back to what it was you.........LIARS! So...... yesterday I was getting myself ready to attend and event with my hubby and LDG. I went upstairs to get ready, as I am putting mascara on my lashes I hear  someone on the TV saying to what sounded like a new mom.
"Don't worry all the baby weight you gain you will lose it quick and your body will snap right back" DOING!...... WTF did she just say to this poor new mommy?  Are you friggin kidding me...Liar! At that point I run back into the bedroom and shout at the TV.

"She is lying do not believe a single word she is saying to you!" Your body does not go back to it's original state no matter how hard you work out - I am talking real women  here...Not celebrities who are not normal women ~ they are fembots brought down to earth from some strange planet.  How else can you explain that "they" can birth a baby and 4 weeks later are able to wear a Herve Leger Bandage Dress without Spanks to movie premier.
I am talking about us regular women folk. Women like you and I who get prego, have a baby and are stuck with the blob jiggle remains and wonder what the hell we are going to do with "IT" in the next year in order to make it look at least half way like it used to look. I have been working out for a year and just now beginning to see the results of maybe just maybe getting my body back to a fighting form.

Boobs - what the hell happened to my boobs? I was always fairly small on top and perky and never had to worry about a bra. I had always wanted to get a boob job {I was young and dumb } now I would never get one. No offense gals but big boobs SUCK! Clothes do not fit or to me personally hang well, I hate, hate wearing bra's, I have to buy a size up in tops so these flesh monsters won't look so obscene. I am lucky I am tall so I can carry these bitches around.

Stomach - PLEASE I am trying to get that slap of beef back in it's place.My stomach looks like an ex cast member from the movie Saw because of the many scars I have in that region.  My appendix ruptured when I was 16 and the infection spread, doctors had caught it too late so instead of a cute little side appendix scar I have a big ugly scar that runs from the top of my stomach to right above my lady parts. Add the lovely C section scar and I am now a human jigsaw puzzle. I also have this pooch part that no matter what I do just hangs there mocking me on a daily basis.  So I have accepted that bikinis will no longer be part of my life...and I am fine with that. I got lucky because I do not have one stretch mark on my stomach from the pregnancy *thumbs up*


Rosacea- Yeah this one is bugging the shit out of me the most. I had never had issues with my skin ever - I credit the EVOO we Italians like to use everywhere. I have this bundle of joy  and BLAMO this little bit of red shit on my right cheek just appears and will never go away...aces.  It was really bad when LDG was first born it has gotten better throughout the months because of some majorly expensive skin product and visits to the dermatologist/spa.

I guess with all the celebrity mommies out there who snap right back into shape it is hard to not get affected.  I say to myself every time I see a celebrity on the red carpet looking fabu after after having baby just 2 weeks ago. They have

  • Stylist 
  • Chefs
  •  Make up and Hair people 
  • Trainers 
  • Spa people at their disposal 
  • And it is their f*ckin job 
Happy Monday 

6 comments:

Ronni @ Anywhere Is said...

I HATE my stomach pooch. Unfortunately, I DO have stretch marks. AND genetics working against me. The only options I have, really, are a tummy tuck or lipo. And I'm not trying to have surgery I don't need.

sandbox gems said...

Yup, my body was shot after the birth of my 9lb, 8oz son. I forever have that extra stretched layer that no amount of exercise is going to take away. Sigh. I agree with Ronni above, not having surgery to fix it.

MamaBear13 said...

My son was also 9lb 8oz and the stretching was insane. He's 16 months now and I refuse to give up trying, but in the back of my head, I know it's mostly hopeless. Bye bye bikinis. As I read this post, I realized I don't regard celebrities as real people for exactly this reason haha

Mommy Bags said...

Yep same here I would never go under the knife voluntarily for vanity sake.My hubby loves me the way that I am which is what matters but it pisses me off when you work out and you see the results everywhere except for the "pooch" DAMN YOU pooch!

Cyn said...

have you seen the pics of jessica alba frollicking on a beach in mexico in a pink bikini lookin' fabu FOUR FREAKIN' months after baby #2? so obviously a fembot/freak-of-nature!

and c'mon beyonce' & all the other gobs of celebs who all seem to have c-sections. all just pampered women who do not want labor and who use a c-section as an excuse for an instant tummy tuck! yeah britney spears i am talking to you!

yeah my body will never look perfect -- but then again it never was -- so maybe that is why i am not as bothered by my post baby figure -- same as it always was... lol!

ana said...

Yup... my body is totally not the same. It doesn't matter how much working out I do... I don't think that will ever fix my one saggy boobie lol.. the other one seems unaffected by it all.

Feeling the love......