Thursday, January 5, 2012

I have always had.....

a love hate relationship with a doll we all call Barbie. I remember as a child of 6-7 playing with my Barbies and what attracted me to this doll was not the big boobs, the ridiculous size waist and the platinum blond hair it was the clothes...Ahhh the many, many options of clothes from trailer park daisy dukes to the high end couture. I loved my Barbies  even though some met the fate of the scissors and  vampy make up they were my imagination to what I could be. I have got to say it was probably Barbie that got me so passionate about clothes, design and merchandising. I had all the accessories The Dream House, The corvette, the shopping mall, the Beauty Salon ~ the list goes on and on. As I got older and the dolls were put away I also changed my views on what Barbie was and what kind of bad message it sent to little girls. You must have this impossible size chest, waist and butt, don't get me started on the hair color that almost too much. Is this what men want a walking, talking {when asked to} Barbie? It was at the age 13 that I decided that  if I ever had a little girl {and I never thought I would have a kid} that I would never expose her to this archaic dream doll.

Fast forward to present time  ~ F*ck if I didn't just get slammed with the your shit out of luck your wrong again stick! And this one hurt like a sombitch'. Below is the current collection of stalker dolls that are staring at me on a daily basis. If  they had voices this is what I would be hearing "Nah nah nah naaaana we got your daughter think we couldn't do it. You can't hide from us we are EVERYWHERE" .   I know that sounds kind of kooky but I am a kook.

My daughter likes to line them up in a very OCD American Psycho kind of way - when she starts to line the floor with a clear plastic shower curtain - time to start worrying! I have of course re named them to suit my twisted little mind - left to right Xanax Beauty Pageant Barbie, Stumpy Barbie, Girls gone wild Barbie and Botox Chef Barbie.

The newest additions to the famiglia Pet Vet Barbie 
This one was from Grandpa "Nonno" it is Fashionista Barbie
I see no Chanel here so I have renamed her Stripper Barbie 
I actually ordered a large Barbie box the other day in order to put the damn dolls away neatly. They have taken over the house and I do not like to stare at dolls with a better rack than I have all day gives me  a little bit of an inferiority complex. I thought I would never be this person this mom who used to be so anti Barbie now has Barbies throughout the house.  But you know what I am OK with that because it makes my LDG happy. And after all isn't that what matters the most? Right?

After thought...Holy shit am I going to feel this way about Disney Princesses soon...Oh God no please say it isn't so!


K Coake said... a mom who has been there. You will soon be saying these same things about Disney princesses. I really didn't like them, even managed to make it mostly through that age with my first child without much Disney princess crap in the house. Girl #2 decided to make me eat my words! Have fun with it!

Sarah @ It's a Vol said...

I pretty much tied all of my barbies to the ceiling fan, chopped their hair off or melted it together with my crimping iron. I never really liked Barbie though. I too have laid down the mandate that E will NEVER play with Barbies. I do not look forward to being hit in the face with that stick...

Also, I worked as a vet tech for years and here is a little tip from me to you: Standing on your feet ALLLL day long and wearing those stripper heels is an oxy moron. Also, you only wear a skirt that short if you want claw marks all over your legs and hoo ha. Just sayin' is all...

Cyn said...

hahaha -- ironically skylar got vet barbie & rock n' roll barbie with the guitar for xmas. they were (and still are) my favorite toy of all time so i am elated that she loves them.
and yeah barbie sends a mixed message -- but only if you raise a daughter who thinks her worth is equated by looks & we all know you won't do that!
but yeahhh... watching sky comb their hair & dress them up makes me proud! she is a girlie girl just like her mama!

Krista said...

i like your versions of barbies.
but is it sad i cant wait for my kid to play with barbie because I LOVED barbie. i seriously was so upset my little sister outgrew them because then i had no excuse to play barbies ever.

joeh said...

Never into dolls, but always wanted "Little Slut Barbie" with thong and stripper pole. All I got was GI Joe!


Cranlky Old Man

Feeling the love......