Thursday, May 2, 2013

When did you become such a worry wart?????

This is the question my husband dropped on my ass this morning - he wanted to have me believe that he  was kidding but I know him well enough to know he was not. Now that my feathers were ruffled and was not happy.  Yes I noted it was a beautiful sunny morning and everything was great but I voiced a concern about the back hill where our homes is very very dry and the slight wind had me a little scared because HELLO we live in California and since I could remember we have had major fire probes during unusual high heat and wind. It's common f*ckin knowledge. He then proceeded to brush it off which by that time was too late because I was pissed.

Let's see honey let me answer that question on when/how did I become overly worried and a little bit more cautious and paranoid in the last few years....mmmm let's see let me give you the short list hon

  • My mom gets rare lung cancer  - dies before my eyes in 14 months. By the time I wrapped my head around what the hell was going on she was gone. I helped take care of her the whole time watching her suffer. Fuck you cancer for taking my mom way too young. 
  • We are no longer safe to go to/send our children to schools, movies, malls, marathons ect....because people are "mad" at the world so instead of taking them out on themselves or trying to get help they feel the need to take with them innocent victims that have nothing to do with whatever is going on in their fucked up brains.
  • Your child is no longer safe in your home because so piece of shit loser can walk into it and stab your daughter in her sleep. Happened this week here in northern California
  • Terrorism 
  • Perverts, rapists POS child molesters, kidnappers and just plain crazy as of late who are getting set free from our lovely prisons daily. Yes I will shoot to I stutter.......
  • Yes I have become more aware of my surroundings, paranoid and protected.   Sometimes I think you are not paranoid enough. 
  •  Having a child at 40 and always mentally f*cking myself that...... shit I might not be here to see her get married.. DO I look old?  Act old? and once again look old...I zap my wrinkled wrinkles with every beauty product out there too make sure I keep myself young for my daughter...Ooops I am a woman this is how some of us feel and what WE have too look forward to while getting old.
  • Disease..Disease and more disease
  • Yes I still check to see if my daughter is breathing at night I am a mommy and it something that I still do....Sorry but it will not change anytime soon
  • Accidents and just dumb ass people who do not pay attention on the road and are texting when driving. So when I have a friggin panic attack just thinking about crossing the "BRIDGE" with no incoming barricade on the other side please understand. It is easy for a person who has never had an anxiety attack on a bridge to say get over it have NO idea how bad it feels.....If I could make it go away I would pat any amount to have it just "go away"
Yes I have swam with sharks, sting rays, dolphins - bungee jumped and slingshot.  Jumped off cliffs and done some really stupid shit when I was young and dumb.  We now have a huge responsibility for the next 18 plus years so forgive me if I am a little bit more cautious. I am a woman babe and we are hardwired different then you men...duh! I am also going through some major hormonal changes which sucks donkey balls. Something you as a man will neeever have to go through and or understand. 

Getting old sucks score:
Men 0    Women  15

I accept that sometimes I am the glass is always empty kinda gal...but I was raised that way. As much as I loved my mom I get one of those bad habit from her . I know I cannot be like this all the time...I get it...but I am working on making myself better everyday...I love you more than words can express but in the mean time just give me a damn break and accept that I am doing my best.....

Love your wife......


joeh said...

NOTE to Daddy Bags; NOT tell her to "just calm down!"

Took me years to learn that one.

Mariebop said...

If I had children, I'd worry about all that stuff too and my husband would be like yours. His more laid back attitude actually helps calm me down a little. He doesn't say anything when I worry about stuff. He just looks at me funny and shakes his head.

Leah: Not Otherwise Specified said...

Loving your blog!

I'm with you on the worry front. I worry a lot about a lot of things that I have no control over whatsoever. I am told by my boyfriend that worrying over things that I have no control over is pointless, and he is probably right...

I'm sorry to hear about your mom, I lost my mom to a surgery gone wrong on June 18th, so I know all about moms dying way too young. It sucks. :-(

Kerry said...

Go you!! Well said, as a mother, you never stop worrying. And hello, the world, life and society sure gives us loads to worry about!!

Unknown said...

I am such a worry wart too. I worry and over think everything. Ok what do you think about the little girls brother being arrested? I would like to know what they found to arrest him. So sad.
And i also check on my kids at night and usually they are heavy breathers and every once in awhile they will be sleeping so quietly it freaks me out...heck i still have a monitor in their rooms:)

Im A Silly Mami said...

I'm right there with you sister. I was never like that and still think the glass is half full but when your child comes into play things can change. I turned 40 a month b4 I gave birth so it does scare me that I won't see her married too. Oh and I check on her during the night too, lol!

Feeling the love......