Sunday, December 7, 2014

What used to happen then....

and what happens now.  As you know I like to bitch about how old I am getting and how things have changed and it is so apparent during he holiday season dinner parties and many many Persecco cheers that my ass is getting old. Hangovers at 40 and hangovers at 30 totally different thing. The kicker here is I now hydrate with water after each drink and still in pain a week later.

What a Friday starts out like after the shit load of stress that Halloween from this dreaded Xmas brings you...The f8cken Xmas music alone could drive you to daily alcohol intake

Drinking and partying in your 30's

Hangover in your 30's Jack in the Crack drive thru  and about 100 tacos with a back shot of aspirin and you are good to go onto the next fiesta

Drinking and partying in your 40's - you still think you can party like you did in your 30's so you try and keep up figuring out that the next morning is not going to be that bad....Right?!?

Ah wish your ass looked that good the next morning or when vomiting on your shoes from the night before....

YOU NEED food must have food cannot drive must be delivered and they need to do it quick - nothing else works but carbs, carbs and more carbs

Happy weekend...............................

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Suck it up.....

Yep sorry post a bit late......

Yes we are coming here to rant again but hey isn't this what this blog is all about? As some of you are aware I am a Halloween maniac I love it, it's fun, I love all parts from the decorating, the colors and the passing out of the candy. What I do not like is what is happening to this holiday. With anything that is visually and usually fun their are always people who want to shit on it...Now before you get your witches tutus in a bunch I don't mean the entire population but their is always a select few who just have time to make everything so effin impossible and boring that you want to smack yourself in the face. I am talking about people who want others to decorate their houses not scary in order for their kids not to be scared....WHat are you serious last time I checked a homeowners owns their house and if they decided they want zombies and body parts that is their front lawn that is their own damn business and for you to actually have the nerve to go up to neighbors and say to them please don't decorate this way because little Mr. Pricky is scared is a bunch of BULLshit. If your child is scared of the evil looking decorated houses then skip it and go to the unicorn farts and fairy rainbows house down the street. I am sure they can fill your need with the smiling pumpkins and happy ghosts.

It is all around me kids(some)  who have become scared of their own shadows, kids that cry at the drop of a hat over NOTHINing. Kids that have zero common sense and kids that are so coddled that they become useless adults. Now I know that I am pretty hardcore as a parent but you know what I am doing something right with the little person that I am raising. Please, thank you, may I and includes all other in her play world. I am the first one to admit when my little one is an asshole, so no I am not one of those parents that claims their child is perfect because you know what none of them are.

My daughter walks by our Halloween decorations like it is no big deal because you know why people I sat down and explained to her that this shit is FAKE not real made out of plastic - the same plastic that their dear old Elsa dolls and Barbies are made out of. Just because the outside is a little creepier and less pretty does not make it scary.  We should be worried about some of the living walking people that are on our planet instead of a bunch of plastic people you buy from the Halloween Superstore.

Between the no sugar no scary Halloween I am beginning to think that this holiday will be obsolete in a few years just like thanksgiving is being mutilated little by little every year with stores opening on Thanksgiving Day. All I can say is f8ckin  RELAX people it is only a bit of candy and scary things your child will be fine.

Note: My house was the SHit this Halloween got a crap load of kids in a hood where I was told was not a huge Halloween corridor. We kicked ass and took names and next year I am go automatic with the zombies. BTW all the little "scared" kids I heard about loved it!!!!!

Thursday, October 16, 2014

F*cken A it's time for ...Halloween Bitches****

Yep this is the time of year where I go nuts and I feel the most joyous...I love me so Halloween shit yo..This past weekend we decorated away..since I live on the block of the not so young {great people} but damn are some of them cranky and BOring. We have become the loudest house on the block with the many BBq's and outdoor events I have this pass few months. I have rented a jumpy house so many times that I am getting discount from the local dude that does the whole hood.  Not to sound mean but some of these folks have lived in the "hood" for about 50 plus years and are hitting their late 90's it called great CA living and some of these peeps look to be about in their 70's, HOWever some have totally lost the holiday spirit so I decided I would kick some holiday spirit on their asses. Hopefully with the neighborhood going through a massive transition of the not so young bolting for FL and unfortunately kicking the bucket and new families and techies invading the neighborhood I am hoping next year will be a bit more festive.  The whole family decorated this weekend in 85 degree weather. We did a great job and it has become a family fun day.  We still have a few pieces we need to lay out and some lightning to work on but overall it is done......So far our home has become an attraction and the other day when I cam out of the house to head to my work out  I caught a priest just watching our home from his vehicle probably wondering what soul could ever posses to so something like this. I do not think it is that bad but I am used to it...and my awesome ball busting Brazilian jiu juitsu training daughter doesn't even flinch......OH and a post will follow on scardy cat kids and why some people will not decorate houses as scary as they would will love this bullshit story to come


Friday, September 26, 2014

Does this shock anyone....

Mmmmm not really. IN days where little girls are turned into adults at the snap of the finger and we live in the land of everything is sexy it does not shock me at all..I am actually quite surprised that Disney the brand Nazis have let this happened even though they are "loosley" based on the characters anybody who has seen that effin movie knows what is going on here. {I have a toddler - I have seen the movie too many times and that damn song is no longer allowed in our home} I can no longer stomach the color light blue and if I see Elsa's smug little face again I will vomit all over this computer screen. But what is going on below is NOT ok...Let the damn kids be kids and keep something sacred you tacky ass lingerie company. I mean really get a grip on yourselves.  Assholes....

Lingerie and costume company Yandy is now offering a sexy snowman getup designed to resemble Olaf, a sweet and hilarious character voiced by Josh Gad in the Disney film ‘Frozen.’ (left, Disney; right, Yandy)
Nothing is sacred. Not Elsa or Anna. Not even Olaf.
Along with every other children’s pop culture icon, the Disney Frozen cast has been sucked up into the Halloween slut machine and spit out as a collection of sex totems. Elsa and Anna have let it all go . . . and are showing a lot of leg.
The online lingerie and costume company Yandy’s 2014 collection of adult costumesincludes an off-the-shoulder and above-the-thigh Blue Snow Maiden costume that’s a racy version of the elegant gown Elsa wore. A Norwegian Maiden costume has the same color scheme as Anna’s lovely frock but looks like a much better fit for a busty woman in a beer commercial. There’s also a Funny Snowman getup if you want to dress up as a sexed-up version of Olaf, with a skin-tight leotard and white stockings that pull up to your thighs. And finally, the Ice Girl Costume has a slit that will take you all the way up to . . . Elsa’s castle.
slutty Frozen costumes
Lingerie and costume company Yandy released a dishy maiden costume that strikes a terrifying resemblance to the frock the lovely Anna wore in Disney’s ‘Frozen.’ (left, Disney; right, Yandy)
Every year the Halloween costumes get skimpier, tighter and shorter — giving women the chance to show off more cleavage and more leg. Maybe the downward spiral is good for men, but it’s downright degrading to women.
Nearly all children’s pop culture icons have been sluttified: Snow White, Strawberry Shortcake, Little Red Riding Hood, Gumby, the Grinch, Teletubbies, Chuck E. Cheese, and Mr. Potato Head. A sexy Cat Woman costume, even Wonder Woman, makes sense, but Mr. Potato Head? Really?!
Yandy is now selling sexy ice princess costumes. (Yandy)
Yandy is now selling sexy ice princess costumes. (Yandy)
Moving into Frozen territory seems downright criminal. Elsa, Anna and Olaf are for kids. American children are currently obsessed with this Disney film and girls (and boys) have been singing “Let It Go” and “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” ever since it hit the big screen. On Halloween night little snow princesses will be walking up and down leafy neighborhood streets, grasping buckets of candy in their hands. Boozy 20-somethings looking to get laid and dressed up as sexualized versions of Anna and Elsa shouldn’t be allowed to join this parade.
And then there’s Olaf, the sweet-natured snowman who tells everyone, “Hi everyone! I’m Olaf and I like warm hugs.” After seeing the movie my daughter was going around and saying this line for weeks. Come on people, there’s nothing sexy about snowmen! Why must this lovable and goofy little snow creature, who every preschooler adores, be turned into a slut?
Last time, Halloween stooped this low was 2012 when Yandy released its slutty Sesame Street line. Take a look at those terrifying get-ups below. Did they really have to mess with Big Bird? Just imagine his high-pitched babyish voice and you realize that there’s nothing sexy there. hits all-new low with slutty ‘Frozen’ costumes

Categories: Halloween

Friday, August 15, 2014

Nomands what a crock of.....

BULLSHIT! Yes in my opinion bullshit. I have openly admitted that I am a reality show whore. I make no apologies for it.  I love great dramas, crime ect...but their are days when you want to turn off the brain and watch stupid shit on the brain cell remover, and last night is exactly what I did. I watches the train wreck which is Extreme Guide to Parenting on the always thumbs up programming on Bravo TV. Knowing that some people should NOT be allowed to breed this show proves it. I have not checked out the first episode but after this second one I need to check out what other joy of a parent will be featured. Now I have no issues with the Nomand lifestyle if your ass is SINGLE and or coupled off and both parties agree to do this "wandering" thing. Well to me it is a whole different effin story when your totting two kids around with you. I come from the old school mentality that when  you have kids it is NOT all about you anymore but those kids. Maybe I am wrong and maybe it will not work out for me in the end but Gdammit I was given this child to raise and I am going to do whatever I need to do in order to make that child into a productive, self sufficient effin adult.  I watched this show and I see that mom's head is in the clouds and dad just strikes me as one tick bite away from starting is own tree hugging hippy commune. A brief description of the episode.

Three years ago, Wendy and Tyler got rid of everything they owned and became nomads living out of their SUV. Now that their kids are older, life on the road has lost its charm. While Wendy and the kids long for a place to call home, Tyler fears any change could lead straight back his greatest fear. . .a "normal life."

NOT NORMAL life god help us with the "normal" life. Go my little red headed beard man stick it to the man...whatever asshole.....BTW the vehicle is not even close to being a SUV it looks like some cramped up Volvo.   Kids do not have any privacy which becomes a problem the older you get...These kids will be tweens soon..... do you really want to be sharing a tent with your mom and dad. Can you imagine little johnny first woody trying to take care of business with mom/dad/sis near by. How about the first PMS breakdown of your soon to be teen age daughter...Hello she has no door to slam what is she to do!!!!  I feel bad for these kids...because they look like great kids but you just feel bad for them.  They seem tired of the traveling and all they want is their own little area so they can decorate - and a dog and friends and fresh food and privacy and a bed and not a tent and a not public restroom and legos and the list goes on and on.....I heard a lot of I....I....I....I....I from the dad and last time I checked when you have a child/children it becomes more about we and sometimes a whole lot of them. Yes they have traveled the world and yes you get to enjoy extreme closeness to your  family but at what cost?

Dad comes off selfish and quite frankly a prick..... I just want to reach into the TV and punch him in his face. He lives in a fucking fantasy land of rainbow and unicorns- mom just goes with what daddy says and to me it is one big cluster fuck...  The kids get home schooled {barely} so let's see what the future holds for these little kiddos.  At one point the assholes  parents bring their kids into a toy store and basically tell them that they cannot get a toy unless they get rid of one. Now I see doing a purge every year and donating toys to shelters but these kids are on minim amount of shit already cuz their parents decided to fuck the establishment  for the wandering lifestyle...Hey douches this is a choice your asses made not a choice your kids made. Why the fuck would you dangle the carrot then take it back??? Hopefully the kids will get a chance to break free -soon.Towards the end the 'father" finally agrees to at least get an RV so the family has a bit of elbow room. It still goes to show me that the parents are a couple of assholes.   This is definitely a how to show on how NOT to raise your kids. People what ever happened to balance?

nomad (Greekνομάςnomas, plural νομάδες, nomades; meaning one roaming about for pasture, pastoral tribe), is a member of a community of people who live from one place to another. Among the various ways Nomads relate to their environment, one can distinguish the hunter-gatherer, the pastoral nomad owning livestock, or the "modern" peripatetic nomad.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Why big boobs.....

suck! For many years I wanted big boobs - not big ass gross porno size boobs but nice fuller C's.  I always admired from afar but I know I would never go in to get plastic surgery done. Plastic surgery is to each their own.  If you feel that going under the knife is going to make you feel better about yourself more power to you.  I however would not pay 20,000 to go under the knife and get something foreign shoved in my body and have to re do them in another 15 years so they won't explode in my chest.    I am not by any means a hippie skippy far from it  - but I have taken the holistic approach in my health and it has been working for me.  I also think that all this botox is not OK they say it is safe, but they also said smoking was safe about 60 years ago.  My boobs were always a great B but after I had my lovely daughter these bitches have gotten a bit bigger and to tell you the truth a big pain in the ass. I got measured for some new bras the other day and almost had a heart attached when I saw my new cup size. I knew that had gotten larger BUT DAMN....Let's just say that no longer wearing a bra is not going to be an option...Below are also other reasons why big titties are over rated.

  • Bras {in my opinion} are not as pretty and feel like some kind of chest armor from some medieval age 

  • You can no longer wear a damn button up blouse because the shirts never sit right just were your boob chest is or it just looks really tacky

  • Depending on clothing manufacturers you need to go up a size in dresses in order to fit your boobs and your ass area is still too big...So getting a great tailor is a must - but get ready for the additional $$$
  • Men's eyes tend to wander to that region they try not to but they can't help themselves but it always makes you feel cheap
  • No matter how great your work out bras is working out bounce sucks 
  • Swimsuit shopping sucks even more than it usually does! Because no matter how you try and squeeze those puppies in they look like stuffed mushrooms not pretty.

  • Droop Droop from the weight of those big ugly floppy boobs from when  you had no matter how many exercises you do they will never be perky again...bastards!

  • Have you tried golfing with tits?!?

Feeling the love......