Thursday, March 29, 2012

Things I said I would never.....

do that I now have found myself friggin doing......I never thought I would
  • Wear ballet or any type of flats not in a million f*ckin years. I walked, ran and lived in 4 inch heels. After GG was born my fat feet could not get back into my diva heels. Once I got my feet back with the amount of walking and lets face it comfort I have not gotten back into the swing of things with my heels. With Gia running her ass off now I do not see high heels in my daily grind anymore. Thank god that there are so many cute options so I don't have to look not cute. I still bust out my bitch heels but not as often as I would like. 

  • That I would actually co exist with a cat. Before our little Mia passed on. I told myself that I would never ever live with a eww gross cat {sorry cat people}. I threatened many cats whispering into their ears that they would make a nice purse. After I had the pleasure of hanging out with my husbands cat my feelings for the little shit started to change. She was an awesome cat and I still miss her annoying meows and kitty throw up welcome homes. 
Meow bitches 
  • Never ever drive below 65...hello when did I become grandma driving bitch. Any time that I have GG in the car I am so super cautious I scare myself. I pay attention to anything going on the road. Just a few years ago I could apply lip gloss, light a cig, change the radio station and drive all at the same time.
  • Never watch reality TV - yeah that one worked out real well for me *thumbs up*
  • Never thought I would own a dog that was not a bull mastiff or a rottweiler. Hell how the f*ck did I end up with two golden retrievers? They rock BTW and the big one is vicious so I get the best of both worlds. Protective and cute.
You wanna piece of me?
  • Use my own spit to clean GG's face...Yeah I am still grossed out by that one
  • Going to the bathroom with an audience....Toddler and two dogs giving me the same look as the pic above. I have not been able to go to the bathroom by myself since GG turned 11 months and started walking. 
  • Get married again...after the first round rodeo I was put off by the whole matrimony thing but then I found my one true love and we did...we just waited and took our sweet ass time
  • Not working to become a SAHM. I was a go, go , go work girl. I wonder sometimes what the hell happened?
  • Wear work out gear - and actually work out in it
  • Never not flip the pages while reading a book now I download my books on a nook *shame on me*. I miss the smell of books
  • Smell my child's butt in public. Come on you know you have done it to!

  • Drive an SUV glorified mini van 
My lovely boat which I adore fits 7 peeps and rocks
I get stopped everywhere about people wanting to check it out and  how drives

  • Live in mini suburbia 
  • Never say "I made you and I can break you" to my daughter when she has a bat shit crazy moment during the day
  • Have a baby and shit we know how that one turned out
So what is one thing you said you never would do but have found yourselves doing? 


joeh said...

A mean Golden? I don't think so!


Brenda Lee said...

OMG! Your posts totally crack me up! So REAL! I love REAL ppl! You rock!

Jo said...

I totally laughed at that picture of the granny signalling. :D

Caffeinated OC Mommy said...

LOL... oh Darling, you just about covered it all! I HATED when my Mom would do the spit thing... and now, well, just in an emergency! lol Kisses your way Gurlfriend... XXXX

Lady Goo Goo Gaga said...

Um pretty much everything you just said, plus I never thought I would leave the house without makeup

Theresa said...

totally hit the nail in the head with this one i am going through the "shit my mom used to say to me" phase. now i talk to her and im about to go bat shit crazy with my 7 yr old I AM OFFICIALLY my mother!

KERRY said...

Is there any other way aside from sniffing their butts?
I do lots of things, too many to list here hahaha
But I love your list!
Maybe reminding my kids that there are starving children in Africa, I used to hate it when my dad said that to us!! Now I do it ;)

Jen said...

The other day I looked in my closet and realized I owned like a zillion ballet flats and a handful of pumps. Not a high heel in sight. I guess that is what 3 children do to a girl.

Glad to have found your blog,


Susan said...

"Because I said so, that's why"!

Kill me now.


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