I thought you were the biggest......

This is re post...Why because I got this AGAIN the other day from another person I have gotten to know a whole lot better. Am I  perceived this way by people because I don't fake and whistle daisies out of my ass on a daily basis???  Because I do not fully trust ANYONE until I get to know them and when I receive huge warning signals{over exaggerations, little white lies I catch the peeps in} I back off? This is me being me and I have learned in my older age that trust is something that needs to be earned and not just given to any Tom, Dick and Harry I have been burned once and will never ever be put in that situation again so if sometimes I come off as a little standoffish it is not because I am a bitch it is because I am trying to figure you out before I  take the next step. Very few people make it/have made it into my personal space circle and the ones that have are super ass special all the others are just passing by......


bitch when I first saw you! But your like really down to earth and NICE.....Wasn't a shocker......Yep I hear that allot. This particular statement came from one of the mothers at our play group who I have gotten to know better....obviously. I told hubby the other day what this particular mom had said and I asked him

"Dude do I really come off as that big of a bitch? I mean I talk to everyone and I am the first one to introduce myself in a social situation? I don't feel like I am a bitch to people...do I?"


"It is not like you look like a bitch, more like your really, really intimidating." Hubby says 


"What do you mean?" I say 
"Well...you know your intimidating in a nice way and your confident when you walk into a room some people are intimidated by that...You know you look like you can take care of yourself."


"WTF so that makes no damn sense at all. So if I am those things I am automatically pegged to be a bitch?" I grunted 


 But in a way I knew what he meant. I had been hearing the same thing for years.

• It is hard to truly get to know you -  Yep because the times I have let people truly in I have gotten screwed and screwed hard. I have learned my lesson and I do not feel like going through that shit again. So I tread very cautiously with new relationships and I do not trust anyone except my close family and hubby.
• You have a wall up it is hard to break through/thought you were a bitch - See above....I love bloggin because it has made it easier for me to chip away at the wall little by little and you know what I am a bitch when I need to be. 
• Why don't you smile more. Because when you were raised in the city and had to take the 14 Mission bus in a Catholic school girl uniform you learn not to smile in fear of getting your ass kicked.  People who look like they know what they are doing and going avoid stepping in the puddle of shit. Show no fear baby.

As women we are all bitchy and if a woman says she is not then you should start worrying because she is lying to you. Being bitchy is part of our DNA we try not to be but we can't help it once it takes over {Hello PMS}. I  have been guilty of judging the book by it's cover. I am super opinionated and when something does not sit right I will let you know. I don't like people who lie and I hate people who over exaggerate and they do not allow you to see their true selves only the manufactured selves.   I am working on this because I want to set an example for my daughter and I want to also do it for myself. I do appreciate that the other mommy's have taken the time to get to know me and see that I am not this evil ass chick that wears black all the time but that I am a mommy just like them taking it day by day and trying to keep it all together.

I am a work in progress trying to improve myself everyday....No one is perfect no matter how hard they try and make people believe that they are.....I am comfortable enough with myself to also know that if you don't like it you can suck lemons and kick rocks....Peace