Need some support.....

Jen's fighting Italian spiciness and spirit is going to beat this! 

ova' here from my bloggy friends out there. I have a true blue old school family friend who is battling breast cancer. It is something that in this present day world we are hearing about much too often. She was 39 when she received her diagnosis one month after her mother passed away. It is tough as shit watching  a friend that you used to play/hang out with while rockin'  out in the streets to the San Francisco 49'er rap song when we were just little tikes go through such struggles in such a short period of time.  To have to go through something as painful as losing your mom then having to go through the ordeal of chemo/radiation and dealing with shit head, no feeling, robot managing insurance companies it SUCKS!  WE all know someone who has gone through/is going through the fight of their life when battling  cancer. Take the time to read her story and see if you can help.


Remember a little goes a long way...

Here is the link we have some good momentum going but it would rock balls if we could help her out in anyway.
Getting through chemo without drowning in bills


Below is a short summary of what she has had to deal with on top of trying to fight for her life.

This campaign is to raise money for Jennifer Quilici. She is only 39 when diagnosed with breast cancer. This year her mom died suddenly of a glioblastoma brain tumor, She passed away soon after the diagnosis. They asked that a brain biophys be done so that the tumor could be staged. She never woke up again and she passes 3 days later due to a brain hemmorage.  The next month Jennifer was diagnosed with breast cancer. Its not the simple one since its in her lympnodes. She will have to undergo 4 months of chemo followed by 2 months of radiation. Her Pet scans alone are 15, 000 meaning her copay is 3,000. She is part of that group  of people that are under insured. It is amazing how the bills just keep piling up. we make to much money to qualify for public assistance yet we are barely making ends meet. We just recently received medical bills in the thousands  from Queen of the Valley Hospital in Napa. her birthday is 05-22-1972 as to not be confused with anyone else. This road is a difficult one and we will beat this cancer. Her chemo treatment that will roughly cost 160,000 with Jenn's responcibility being 30%. She is getting the chemo treatment at redwood medical center in Napa, California we will notify them if monies would like to be directly donated to them on behalf of Jenn. This is not the end of our road but a seperate journey that has altered our course we still have school to finish, traveling  children. Just need some help so that we can get there.


Oh and BTW this is for you cancer

I have never hidden the fact that I started late on the baby making - I got pregnant at 39 and had GG at 40. It is not uncommon in the area where I live to see first time mommies in late late 30's and early 40's. Women are getting married later in life after they get to where they want to be in their careers and do them for a bit before settling down and doing the baby/family thing. I love that this miracle happened to us later in life. It gave us the opportunity to travel the world and get our party out of our systems.  That being said though their is not a day that I do not calculate the years...OMG I will be 55 when GG turns 15 it is a daily mental battle with my brain. I need to look like Christie Brinkley does at 58 because my daughter will be 18 and I want to make sure I don't feel and look old. Since I am not a believer in plastic surgery and botox - BTW I give it another 10-15 years and you something will come out saying botox  is bad for you and will cause some kind of cancer remember now about 40 years ago cigarette smoke was also good for you...Also who the hell wants to look like this - in about 20 years everyone is going to start looking like little plastic figurines. Scary...

Anyway my biggest concern besides not wanting to feel/look old and being healthy for my GG is the old dreaded friggin word that every woman fears in the age range of 48-55 comes around MENOF*CKINPAUSE. Just imagine when I hit 50 I am going to deal with a 10 year old and menopause....Happy Happy Joy Joy....... Oh lord. I am now reading everything that I possibly can on the subject. I will not go the synthetic hormone route so I have started researching some local hippy skippy nurses to keep it all natural.  If I have to pull a Samantha and spread yak fat all over my body so be it!  Am I just being weird? 

First day.......

Tired but not done she did not nap today

of preschool for GG and tough mama here is having a really hard time with it. As much as the little bugger sometimes drives me completely friggin insane I miss this shit out of her today. I am sad. I literally sat in the parking lot crying for about 1/2 hour....BTW thank you PMS for making today even more emotional than it was supposed to be. Why is it so hard and when the hell did she grow up so quick. Just the other day I was holding her in my arms and today she took her first back pack and lunch pail too school. I am freaking the F*ck out yo! Ya.....so tough girly here has a mushy side what the hell am I supposed to do not get it out? 

So after I dropped off and had a good ol' cry I headed to the gym and worked out which was the first weirdness she is with me every time I go to the gym and this morning she was not there and it just felt weird. I finished working out and then I left to do some quick errands - I got in the car looked in the back and all I saw was an empty car seat instead of two little arms waving in the air to whatever 80's music mama was listening to. At one point while I walked into the grocery store I ran back to the car because I thought I left her in the car. Yep crazy time here and I was missing my partner is crime. I am sure it will get easier today was just a little tough for me that's all.

I took a little trip to the book store and got Ms. GG a 1st day of preschool present.....I know I am horrible but at least it was books and not like some dumb toy. I got her three of her favorite things right now...anything to do with the Mickey Mouse Club and Strawberry Shortcake. I picked her up and she was NOT ready to go she loved it and did not want to come home......such a good sign. I asked the teachers how she did and they said she was good to go and fantastic. Not a tear shed - she asked for my once and when the teacher explained what she was doing there and I would be back she was good to go. So far so good. I think today was was easier for her then it was for me. What the hell am I going to do when she starts high school oh good God.

Twisted Wordless.....

This has always seemed WRONG 

Wednesday....OK gang so yesterday as you all know was GG's kinda first day of preschool. It was orientation day and the school director wanted both parents to be there on this day- totally cool because my husband got to spend the day with us during the week which is very rare with his line of work. So after preschool we decided to take GG around to some of her favorite places so we could get her nice and tired and hopefully she would take a nap later in the afternoon.  While GG was doing her thing husband and I with our twisted & may I add dirty little minds saw a bunch of things in the children world that kinda of look just not right...No' whatta mean???  Here are some of our favs. 

Mmmmm....yep this was just like so at jumpy house
nothing like a couple of blue balls to make the world go round"

Something you really don't wanna see in a toy store...lol

Yep we are a little twisted.....but it's all in fun!

I feel.....

A-M-A-Zballs today really really amazing folks. Besides it being a beautiful day outside  my little one had her preschool orientation this morning and did really really well.  It almost made me sniff a little when she turned around and just took off without a second glance my way......She is growing up before my very eyes and in some ways I am ready for it and it some ways I am so not. Soon enough she will be asking to borrow the car and the credit card. Daddy is going to have to get ready for that one because my little one is already a shopper I can tell  it's in her genes. Because it is a special time for her I had her chose her own lunch box and book bag and the below is what we chose - 

Oh lord help me

Yep a whole lotta pink too much pink for a mommy that wears black 95 percent of the time. But she is a girly girl and hopefully she will remain that way. I don't know if I could handle the tomboy thing to much...lol


Also I scored a super duper bonus today a demon in ME that has been holding on to something for too long has finally been released and I feel free, free I tell you. God I have not felt this liberated in a very long time. It's finally DONE!

God I am going to say it again.

I.feel. AWESOME!

Hope you are having a fabulous day I sure the hell am. 

All about.....

me. Yep soon it will be all about me not forever but for a month or so it will be and I will be making no apologies for it. I have been on a roller coaster of change for the last 5 years and I want to get off the ride for a little bit. As you know from reading my blog my little GG will be starting preschool soon...she has orientation this week and I have been getting all her stuff ready...sniff. Of course with my type A personality I am already racking my brain on what I am gong to do with that little bit of free time in the am. I have an idea in which direction I will be going I however need to stop......breath......assess the situation and take care of me for a bit. 

Why you ask........because I have weathered through a shit load of change and heartache in the last few years and I have not had the chance to stop and breath. Let's see...... I quit my job {50%}because a business opportunity that had come my way which obviously did not happen. I might go into that story one day and I might not the"person" involved in the lie just makes me angry and SAD and I really do not want to waste any of you all's time with that part of my life right now. All I can say it is because of this particular "person" that I now no longer trust many people and have made me very paranoid of new friendships. Many people warned me about this sociopath and I chose not to listen...shame on me. She is no longer relevant and just a piece of maggot shit on my shoe.
Wusa...Wusa...


The other 50 % I let go of the job is {15 yrs btw}because the stress was getting to me bad and I needed to step away - I was beginning to HATE my job/career and I needed to help my dad take care of my mom who while I was still working got diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer this is a woman who never touched a drink let alone a cigarette in her f8ckin life.  FU cancer and FU for taking my mom bitch.  
For 14 months I helped take care of her I got to spend quality time with her for the first time in years, and for that I am thankful. After her passing I was numb and my husband decided it was time for a break we decided to head to Las Vegas for a weekend of fun...I spent the whole weekend in a happy drunk stupor and released allot of pressure, stress and sadness. My husband got a huge ass suite at the Wynn Encore Resort, rented a private cabana by the pool for the whole weekend and let me shop to my hearts content. Yep my husband is a wonderful human being. A month later BOOM I find out I am preggo, 8 months of hell { I don't do pregnant well} POP here comes baby GG and it has been a wild ride for the last 21/2 years with her no time to think just do. While she preschool I am taking my life back for a bit. I will be taking a month or so to overhaul my health. I am fairly healthy right now but it's time to step in up a few notches. I am 42 and look pretty damn good for my age but I want to look fabulous. I after all will be 50 when my daughter turns 10 so I need to make sure my ass is in tip top shape. Getting my ass back on WW to get myself  back on track.  I eat healthy  but I wanto to get my calorie intake in check. Stepping up the cardio to about 2 hours a day then I will be taking some yoga during the week to mellow me out. I also have checked into mixed martial arts I think something like that will help me even out my Italian passion....


I feel that I have taken care of myself but have not done what I should do to get to the next level. Living life has always gotten in the way if you know what I mean. I also partied my ass off for many years and it times to mend the damage that I have probably done to my body. This is the first step to my overall health overhaul. I will keep you posted on the outcome. Wish me luck and I am looking forward to spending some time with me.

WTF Friday......

Killer week....killer few weeks....killer baby cold....... and killer life.  Straight and to the point here are my rants and raves for this lovely Friday.......

• Nope won't get don't want to get it and can't stand him....I will never ever see the fascination with the show Seinfeld. The show was stupid, the cast annoying as hell and Jerry let's just say when my daughter watches the Bee Movie I want to punch myself in the head repeatedly his voice is so annoying. 

• WTF if your dumb enough to have a dude{or anyone} take a nude picture of yourself then you need to suffer the consequences in this day and age you should know better. Bet your ass I will be sitting my little one down at an early age to explain all of this. Be smart ladies.

• Your daughter pees you change her diaper which with a toddler has become a mini wrestling match. You put her down 2.5 seconds later she shits her pants. Awesome!

Yeah right 

• Make a grocery list...Mmmmm check it twice and you still leave the damn store without what you came in for in the first place

• Hello Stacy Keibler you just gave Clooney the marriage ultimatum....you just sealed your fate in about 3.6 months you will be live in girlfriend number 125. No one will be able to tame this lion.....Buh...Buh 

• WTF why do health insurance SUCK so much?
• A dumb bitch "mom" has been banned from a  local Nordstrom because the woman left her 11 week yr. old twins in her SUV while she shopped. WTF is wrong with people? Have people gone completely insane?  

• This lovely woman offered her sexual services for McCrack cheeseburger.  Dang girl at least hold out form some In & Out...No?

And you know what just because I want to and I can - little eye candy to start off the weekend....Yes I am obsessed with Joe Manganiello

What would you do?

This post might bug some people and others might not think twice about it but I now what I would have/would do. This story has been all over the news here in Cali. and it brings me back to that tunnel of fear I have always had in the back in the mind to why I did not want a child. I am scared of the amount of anger that would come from my soul and the physicals pain I would cause a human being  if someone ever decided to harm my child.


Below is a bit of the story if you want to read more I am sure you can locate all the facts on the Internet...but I wanted to applaud the state of Texas for not prosecuting the father who did what he had to do in order to protect is daughter....He had to protect his daughter from a piece of shit SOB who was raping his 5 year old  - 5 f*ckin year old daughter on his property during a friggin BBQ. This so called "human" took the innocence away from his little girl which will cause her physical and emotional hell for the rest of her life. This "human" does not deserve to be alive. I know some of you will be like but he to was a human being.  Sorry folks nope not going to happen and no one will convince me that this piece of vomit would have not done and probably had done this many times before. Their is no lower piece of scum then a child predator and I know what I would have done and by reading my blog you know what I would have done.  I would have done the very exact same thing instead I would have used a shovel to bash his skull in. 


 As much as I love Calif  this state is known for condemning {in some cases}the victim and showing to much sympathy for the criminal - the father would probably be prosecuted and a percentage of the population would probably be on the predators side believe you me I have seen it happen in this lovely state. I do not think that many people would have not done what this man did. Can you imagine the rage that went through the fathers body during that moment. I am raging just sitting her posting about it. By doing what the father did he took this SOB out and prevented from another child getting hurt. That is my thought on the subject. 

I applaud Texas because they did the right thing.

SHINER, Texas — Hearing his 5-year-old daughter crying from behind a barn, a father ran and discovered the unthinkable: A man molesting her. The father pulled the man off his daughter, authorities say, and pummeled him to death with his fists.

With his daughter finally safe, the father frantically called 911, begging a dispatcher to find his rural ranch and send an ambulance.

“Come on! This guy is going to die on me!” the man is heard screaming on the recording, which authorities played during a news conference Tuesday where they announced that the father would not face charges. “I don’t know what to do!”

In declining to indict the 23-year-old father in the June 9 killing of Jesus Mora Flores, a Lavaca County grand jury reached the same conclusion as investigators and many of the father’s neighbors: He was authorized to use deadly force to protect his daughter. “It’s sad a man had to die,” said Michael James Veit, 48, who lives across the street from where the attack happened in this small community run on ranching and the Shiner beer brewery. “But I think anybody would have done that.”

To error is human....

To do it twice is stupid.  And.my.dumb.ass did it twice...stupid...stupid....stupid..... by thinking we could bring our toddler to a nice restaurant and escape unscathed. I mean we went to dinner last Friday night at a fairly decent place and had not one damn issue yes the restaurant was a little bit more family friendly but it was still a nice decent place and all was fine. I do not understand why it was so difficult last night. We had a good friend in town and we decided to get a few of us to go out to dinner. As soon as we heard were we were dining we should have had our heads examined I wanted to keep the little one home but my friend wanted too see her and remaining positive I decided that it would not be too bad.  Well it sucked!  During this whole uncomfortable ordeal I was being told that she was not being that bad.  I on the other hand as her mama knew exactly what everyone was about to be in store for which made for a very anxiety ridden dinner. I was uncomfortable, felt disconnected with the group and felt like the volcano was about to erupt at that point all I wanted to do was to go home.  I could see that my daughter felt trapped{the booth was cramped and awful} and in turn could feel the breakdown coming from a mile away. 


You begin to notice the dirty looks from the strangers from the tables around you. How do I know what the look is,  because I used to give that very same exact look before I was married with children.  Before melt down point we decided to defuse the situation and leave midway through dinner with our doggie bags in tow. I apologized profusely and we left. I was pissed because 

• one the food was WAY overrated and certain items were just not good {my entree was stone cold why did I not send it back because I did not wait another hour for our food. 
• two because my daughter behaved like a little shit

My husband on the other hand was cool as a cucumber my mellow ying to my over stimulated yang.  I have now FINALLY figured out that there needs to be husband and me time and family time and the two shall never intermix again until the age were GG can appreciate it. I am making reservations to Gary Danko as we speak.  I want GG exposed to all types of cuisine and culture and in order to do this she is going to have to be a little older. As her punishment she got her Ipad taken away from her for 2 days which has been met with over drama -god is she 2 or 12 wtf?


I need to remember that I am no longer Sex and the City and a little bit more Yo Gabba Gabba 

Note: Ms. GG is sick today so it looks like last nights little discipline issue was the beginning of "snotathon" 50 2012....

A packed full weekend &

Dog 1 and my baby 

weeks ahead. It is Monday  morning and I am just getting around to updating my blog. I am sitting down having my cup of Get Gorgeous tea {actual name} for the skin this tea is the diggity. I swear my skin has never been better since I started drinking it. I am starting out the day with a pack of frozen peas on my neck I took it up a notch at the gym and I kind of jacked my neck up a little no biggy I will ice the shit out of it today then back on the old gym again Tuesday. I also need to get my act together on eating I over indulged this weekend and feel like a whale.  I usually stick to my cooking 7 days a week but with BBQ's and going out to dinner/events it has been pretty hard to not over eat and drink wine. 

I am watching the fog rolling in over the mountains this morning  this is the first morning in a couple of weeks that the fog has made an appearance. The weather has been HOT and we have been taking full advantage since we don't usually typically have great weather in June. That is why I have been a little off schedule with the posting because I have been so busy running around everywhere and enjoying the outside.  GG's last day of Tutu school was last week so we wrapped that up and she has had allot of fun with her ballets girly's. They also had the little ones make these cool fairy wands after the class. Over all GG enjoyed her time there and we are going to sign up again in the fall. I am also busy getting baking for folks, getting GG prepared for preschool and attending many birthday parties.  The more social GG gets the more invites come our way which is nice for her. I want a very social child and I want her to experience new things everyday and just be active. I am now looking for a swim class for her to take during the week I am looking for a class that will require beginning swimming and not just ring around the rosy in water I can do that at home in the bath tub and save myself some dough. 

Friday we went to the San Mateo Fair with GG, LDog and Cha Cha. It was me and my SIL with the troops in 82 degree weather and let me tell you it has been determined that their happy asses will not be going to Disneyland until they are of legal drinking age.  Wow what a nightmare between their SUV size strollers and all the shit that comes with carting 2 toddlers and a baby we were over it before we went through the gates of carnival hell.  SIL and I decided that next year were filling up adult size sippy cups of wine for the day...lol.  It has been determined that GG has no fear and went on most of the rides she could get on and then some for her height. I did not get many pics because one of us with the kids because while SIL did rides  with one of the toddlers I watched the baby but I did get a few. I also included a few older pics of the day we went to the fair with daddy. 

I have no clue what she was looking at

Rain Forrest
GG mesmerized by parrots

Ewwww nasty 

D-O-N-E

After the fair we went walked back to my pops house on the way back we managed to lose one cool toddler fedora hat I just bought for GG that morning and one stuffed animal I won at fair. I have no f8cken clue how we managed to lose both but we did. The whole fam went out Friday night for a pre fathers' day dinner. The kids did really well it helped that this time instead of small and intimate we did loud and not. Did some walking after dinner and we just sat on the dock checking out the water and the sunset.

My pops kid Ldog and GG

This is what life's about 

Saturday got up and baked an amazing blueberry cheesecake for neighborhood BBQ that was fun....I had a little too much wine but it could be that my ass has become a light weight.  Sunday was Father's Day and when I asked my husband what he wanted he stated all he wanted to do was couch surf and watch the US Open and whatever red neck car race was on{sorry I don't get the racing thing} so that is what we did we chillaxed and did us.  I found this older pic of my husband and GG when we were in Cabo and this pic tells me time and time again what an amazing father my daughter has and what a beautiful man and husband I am married to. 

GG & daddy in Cabo - Man enough to sport girly headband for his daughter 

Today is going to be catch up day. Bills, blogs, clean up the house, menu planning and getting GG's stuff ready for her preschool debut in July, a pile of laundry and a chance for GG to sleep in and take it easy.

Have a great Monday everyone!

Yo we are classy.....

ova here. As most of you know by reading this shit blog is that I am totally fascinated with the people that allow themselves to be filmed 24/7 for the twisted world of reality TV. Some of the shows have become quite hysterical. I have now taken my husband hostage on this total sick ride that is called my addiction to the reality TV.  He sometimes cannot believe some of the stuff that gets said. I mean you know your being filmed so can we at least try and control ourselves or think before we speak? Our favorite so far has been the countless times some of these folks on RTV need to state that they are

• classy
• we're classy ova here 
• like to keep it classy 
• I am too classy for ______
• I have to much you guessed it class

Now usually the peeps who are stating how classy they are...ain't...These are the first ones to be rolling around the floor getting their beat on as soon as the cameras start to roll. I especially LOVE the gals who state

"You know we like to keep it classy here." and in the next breath they drop about 30 f bombs and call everyone in their family big SOB's. Yeah real classy. I mean I understand the f bomb thing I am notorious f bomb dropper but I however never claimed to be classy.  I was a big fan of the original Mob Wives - I however checked out MW Chicago and holy shit people the dude who worked the beep machine must have been exhausted after that first episode. I mean it was like this 

"beeep....beeep...beeep....beeep....rat....mother effer....beeep beeep. I mean the whole episode..... I had to get up and change the channel....It was too much for me......for me...it was too much!

Repeat offenders of how many times these two chicks and their crew say how classy they are is ridic. I mean after the first season and the whole christening throw down everyone in this group still think they are still classy.....

Why do people feel the need to tell people they are classy???? Isn't classy not too tell people you are classy? Just a thought. 

Lately I feel like....

I am living in the movie Demolition Man......everyday that I am here on this god green earth some of the shit that s in the movie  is actually happening  - life imitating art/movie or whatever the saying is this shit is actually happening.  I have been obsessed with Demolition Man since I first saw the movie in 93. What is their not to love - action, a very young Sandra Bullock/Benjamin Bratt and at best B movie acting from Mr. Sly Stallone/Snipes and the amazing comic sarcasm of Dennis Leary. Why in holy hell am I bringing this up this lovely Tuesday morning?  Because as I was getting myself ready to get out of bed and do what I do before I head to the gym on the news came up that in Middleborough Massachusetts the law passed that your happy ass will be fined if you cuss - 20.00 smackaRoos.  As soon as I heard that all that comes to me is the scene in DM were Sly Stallone has just heard this and is having fun with the machine that issues the demerits/tickets. WOW we are not far off people. Are we f8ckin serious here or is this make believe?  Cops are going to have the time to keep up with this shit?  All I know is my ass would be in jail...like all the time. Most of the futuristic  stuff we though would never ever see are here. Soon we are all going to wandering around in kimono style drab colors and eating at the fine dining establishment of Taco Hell. God help us.

Little side note and I am not proud and I am sad because I know she got this from me...GG dropped her first F bomb the other day. I know...I know....*head hanging low*  she did it because her Ipad was not working and boom she said the f word. I SUCK and I am now really, really trying hard not to cuss anymore. Wish me luck!

True Hotness......

Last night was the one night were I do not fall asleep early, I do not move from the TV and do not respond to my husband because from 9-10 is True Hotness time. True Blood is finally BACK.... it seemed like forever but it is back.....My husband watches it with me but he is not into it as much as I am because I have always been into reading/watching/fascination with the vampire{NOT the Twilight vampires pfft weenies}. Some peeps are into Casper the friendly ghost I am into vampires to each it's own!  The show is well written funny, campy and just plain bad ass....and ok ok it is not to bad on the eyes....... man wise...I mean come on man hubman and I have started playing the how long will it be before one of the male main characters is without a shirt game while watching. I think the wardrobe for the male cast must read something like this:

• White{wet and or dripping with sweat depending on scene} tank top/T shirt/no shirt 
• Really really tight jeans or leather pants {double swoon on the leather pants}
• Leather jackets
• Butt ass naked  

I can say that these dudes probably have to watch every morsel they eat and must work out like beasts too look this way- Carbs not happening during filming season even my husband agrees that the male cast on this show is just prime meat eye candy TV for the ladies...They definitely know who they are aiming for! I mean one of the cast members Jason Stackhouse spends more time handcuffed and without clothes than any other character I have ever seen on the tube we just call him shirtless Stackhouse in this house. I mean really ladies can you argue with cold hard plain facts look at the lovelies below. And if the below was not outstanding enough they add Christopher Meloni from th/e old Law & Order SUV. Alcide and Eric have been my favorites from the beginning. Alcide  because I mean really must I explain. Eric because he's evil {again} or  looks like what my image of what a vampire would be if ya know....... they existed....Stupid I know but oh well it's me. I will leave you with some images of the beef cake for your Monday viewing pleasure.

The ultimate 

Oh my - My favorite Alcide

Chris Meloni 

WTF Fridayaroo......

Hello honey’s and bunny’s and welcome again to another fun and twisted  of WTF Friday. I missed t last week because if you kept up with my blog posts you know that my little GG had a hard time keeping the peace in her sleep. I have had some issues with her getting up last week and I really think this seems to happen around the same time the full moon happens. Strange but it’s seems to be true…should I start to worry if she starts looking like a little hairy monster I mean the girl is half Italian so I know that she will not be able to escape the hairy gene.  It is been a pretty hectic ass month already and it shows no signs of slowing down.  GG will be dong her preschool orientation soon so the prep of that has kept us pretty busy. Besides a few bumps in the road which we call life this month has been pretty productive. So let’s kick it up a notch with the nasty the weird and the plain WTF’s…..

• Dean Snyder from Twisted Sister  - What the hell -  Have you sunk so low that your dping Stanley Steamer Carpet Commericals? What the hell is going on y'all? And whyTf*ck am I using the word y'all?

• Today I was looking for some bras on line - I know a little TMI but I swear so worth it. So I am trolling away and I crashed head first into this...This bra is actually called...OK OK wait a minute...it is called the shock absorber sports bra...What....OMG I know it's totally juvenile but this cracked me the hell up. Can you imagine trying to work out with these things. Holy spitballs. 

• I fear for the edumacation of this country when a contestant on Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares actually said out loud that she could not go to Catalina because she forgot her passport? Duh.....ehm....what? Yeah and Costa Rica is in Mexico.....Right Alexis?

• Octomom backs out of full on nudie stripping because employees talk trash are you shocked? Nope and who the hell would want to pay too see those goodies? Ok don't answer that. 

• Can someone please tell me wtf is wrong with adults who becomes parents? I get that sometimes brain cells don't communicate with each other because of lack of sleep adult conversation ect.... but to strap your gas can to the car seat but DOES not strap in her baby?  The mom is now stating that her 2 year old unbuckled himself and the gas can magically strapped itself in the car seat.Yeah okaaay....You know what my thoughts are 

• Hellllo Real Housewives of OC...Can you please tell me where the hell you got some of your clothes{except Heather she knows how to dress}. Between the teased hair the STUPID bows/hats, the 8 pounds of make up {I have been to CR the humidity will kill you how the hell do you wear that much make up} the tacky ass swimsuits and dresses I had to look away a few times. Someone please get these "ladies" a stylist. Check out some of the ladies on RHONY they know how it's done. 

• My Big Redneck Vacation - England have you seen this car wreck of a show? Good please don't - This is what they send over to represent America....Great another reason for the English to hate us

• Another "Zombie" attack in the lovely state of Louisiana - this is hilarious because all these attacks are bath salt infused the new homemade drug of the super elite. What cracks me up is you know there are people who are currently living in the deep dark woods with weapons and stock piling food who actually think these people are zombies. People need to stop sniffing glue, bath salts whatever. What the hell is going on? God I love this country....

Happy Friday Peeps........