The bulls shit debate....

over the destruction of the $100,000 Birkin Bag.  As you might have guessed I love love handbags. When I see them I drool and when I buy them I get super excited that is just the way it is and the way my DNA functions...some people collect stamps I collect handbags. I mean I love my handbags and I am one spoiled bitch on buying very over inflated priced bags that sometimes make me want to vomit and punch myself in the face but you know what I worked hard for them and after doing the responsible thing with my money{paying bills, savings donations} I decided the one way to splurge on myself was getting me a few high end designer bags.   Now I get that it is in the name of art and I get what the photographer was trying to point out..On the other hand I would never EVER spend $100,000 on one bag that is like Victoria Beckham status shit and ridiculous.  However if you really think about it's all relevant how much money you have/make.

I had a chance to catch Mrs. Eastwood and Company on the telly last night and because I need to add another reality show on my list like a hole in my head. Hey why the hell not let's check it out and see what the fuss it all about. I was glad to say I am kinda of happy I did. This woman has got to be the most down to earth level headed woman ever especially since she could be a total snot ass because HELLO she is married to Clint Eastwood Hollywood royalty.  She is a pretty awesome woman who came from humble background and worked her ass off to get were she got and she tries to instills true values in her children. Mrs. E was quite disgusted that anyone would pay such an obscene amount of money for a bag. Like she stated it is hard for her to look at someone carrying  3 years worth of a teachers salary on her arm{her dad is a teacher}. That part is really sad, we pay our teachers almost nothing to teach our most prize possession -  our children and then we have some people who would be pay $100,000 for a purse. I know what her boyfriend was trying to do as he stated last night this is a bag the same type of bag you get at a grocery store {ahem no}, you put shit in it.....What is not cool is that now Francesca Eastwood is getting death threats over these photos...really now...... death threats over the destruction of a bag.....come on people. It's their money they do with it what they please...yes times are hard,  yes should they have maybe made the statement in another less frivolous way...sure but really when it come down to it it is none of anyone's business what they do with their money. Also if you really looks at the pictures what they are trying to say with the photos is that money was wasted on a pointless bag...as much as I love it...yes fashion sometimes is just plain ridiculous.

Feeling a little

blue this morning....It happens at the beginning of June for me because we live so close to the damn bay we get socked in with fog  - we locals here call it June Gloom. While everyone is having fun in the summer time here we are wrapping ourselves in light sweaters. We have been pretty lucky for the weather has been pretty stellar but here we are not even June yet and this stupid ass fog starts rolling in and taking over.  It is depressing and friggin annoying since only a 2 minute care ride heading north over the hill it is clear and sunny. One of the only down sides of living so close to the ocean. Not going to lie feeling a little out of it this am and feeling like I have no control over my life right now. I guess it is because GG is starting preschool soon and I will be heading into her being in school 3 days a week for 3 hours in the am which if you think about it from the time I drop her off and I do my gym thing and run errands it will be time to pick her up again.

But still it is giving me allot to think about. I kinda feel useless and once again out of control. I have always worked out of the home always. I have had a job since I have been 14 years old and for the first time in my life I have been out of the work force for almost 3 plus years and that it scary to me. I am in the process of doing some side baking work but this venture is a long way from being complete especially with me starting to do it only on a part time basis... Hopefully it will work out but the unknown is always frightening. I am in no means complaining I have an awesome husband who provides and takes care of both GG and I but I can't help but feel I lost a bit of my independence when I left the work force. This is the way I am feeling right now which sucks because I am usually a pretty up beat person. I feel like I am in some kind of weird limbo? Having no clear direction in life I am feeling a little bummed. But I guess this is something most stay at home mamas go through. I am going to try and snap out of it today for the sake of GG.  I am heading to the gym to get my cardio on too see if that will help then it is off to her mini gymnastics class which she loves, going to walk the pooches then it is off to run some errands.

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer.....I am going to snap the shit out of it today and be back to my usual bitch ass self tomorrow.....Peace

The things that.....

toddler say.  I hope that everyone out there had a great 3 day weekend ours was pretty bad ass and we are moving like slugs this am but I need to get my butt in gear I need to get GG up and ready to go for her hair cut she is beginning to look like Davy Jones {RIP} with her long bangs in her face because even though my daughter will sport some fresh hats she refuses to war any type of barrette or hair bow to keep the damn hair off her face. I am also going in to get my hair done and I think it might be time for a little change....I usually dye my hair a deep red alla Julia Roberts in pretty woman but that is for fall...it is now almost summer and would like to lighten up a little so I am going to do some caramel highlight alla Jennifer Lopez. I know boring shit right?

Anyways I was doing my usual weekly grocery shopping yesterday {with husband help}.  GG is almost 2 1/2 it is almost impossible to keep her in the shopping cart so she likes to walk with my as I do my shopping. Now it was fairly early in the morning so the store was fairly quite. As I am shopping away and my little one is next to me she spots those damn bouncy balls/water guns/cheap plastic shit from China bin that the stores like to put out and this time of year to drive parents crazy. Annnnd...she takes off...in her loud outside voice she starts saying.

"Mommmyyy....ballllsss.....ballllssss.......Mommy I love the blue balls......Mommy look how big the balls are...Mommmyyy I love balls.....Mommy can I touch the balls". 

OK I know it is totally stupid and juvenile but husband and I with the rest of the 7 people in the aisle started cracking the f up. I mean for some reason at 9:00 am that was just too funny. Now my little one has no idea what was going on but she started jumping up and down happily in the process and kept saying funny... funny...mommy...daddy.... laugh. It will be a long while before she ever gets that "joke" but you know what it was something that will go down as something funny - to us. This is a story I will tell to embarrass the shit out of her when she is in high school.  You take these special moments and treasure them because soon enough she will not want to be seen with me.

So I don't get....

*This is my opinion and my opinion only so please just chill

it? It is Sunday morning and I am sitting here all by my lonesome sipping away on some fabu tea and keeping up with my reality TV obsession/addiction I am catching up on Pregnant in Heels. You know the show about some uber rich people who have no clue about the whole baby/birth thing and why their are some people that should just not be allowed to be reproduce. They have this NY kinda hipster tree hugging couple on. You know the kind everything about being preggos is awesome and we are going to train the baby to toilet train at 4 months, can't we just give birth in the middle of the forest we will not do the epidural because it causes damage to the baby but I smoke enough pot that if anyone stands next to me they will get contact high kind of a couple. Well the the other half is doing her best to deliver this baby without an epidural can I ask WHY some women put themselves through this totally unnecessary pain? There is a thing called modern medicine this chick was in PAIN and she was complaining on how hard it was to do this.....no DUH it is called LABOR and it sucks so please do not tell me that any mommy has had fun during labor.  It hurts, it really really hurts, it's awful and long it is not squeezing roses and daisy out your ass if that was the case it would not be called labor.   I mean I just can't understand. You wouldn't go to the dentist and ask him not to give you Novocaine while he drills into your infected tooth so why put yourself through something as painful as labor without some happy drug?

WTF Friday.....

Well gangaroo it is time once again for a lovely installment of WTFriday. I think this is possibly a pretty short rant and rave because god bless it not a whole hell of a lot pissed me off this week.....Maybe it was because I was still tired from the toddler sleep over or just to busy to care. I do not believe that we are at the end of May it is crazy crazy how quickly the months go by. The weather here has been spectacular for this time of year and we have been getting out every chance we can get because a tired toddler is a sleepy toddler and a sleepy toddler makes for happy awake parents.

• My husband informed me the other day that he has NEVER seen Saturday Night Fever and that he does not "get" Fast Times at Ridgemont High....What....the....f8ck!?!

• Why is it every friggin time you get your car washed that one a**hole pigeon decides to shit right on it...Pow 

Bitch please 

• OK I am going to get reamed for this one - Yes Howard Stern made a 7 year old cry but I am sorry I saw the kid preform he was bad really really bad. I know he was 7 and he had some big ass balls to get up there and do his thing but he was not good. So are we supposed to lie to him and tell him he was great? Am I evil for thinking this way or just honest? I think if this was another judge it would have not made the news but because it is Howard Stern it is all over the place. Note Sharon also X'd his ass. 

• Who the hell would go to Chernobyl for a vacation - even an extreme one that would be friggin depressing you deserve to be eaten by whatever movie monsters the studio came up with to scare the shit out of us

• RHOOC Drag Queen Barbie to moi - Alex Bellino thinks that Costa Rica is in Mexico? When my husband overheard that statement made while I was watching the episode he got up, shook his head and just looked at me and said "Honey I know that the Bravo martians have taken over your brain can I please get my wife and brain cells back."  The really scary part is the poor dear said it was such confidence thinking she was right.  I think she has not clue on what planet she is on...She is special isn't she?

• This woman brushes her teeth with cleaning bleach - Clorox cleaning bleach the shit that kills your insides when used on a daily basis. Instead of paying to go to the dentist she took upon herself to do it on her own.  Is it just me or have people gone insane or have they always been insane and now they are just filming their insanity? Or am I the crazy one because I watch this shit?

• Now I am one to trying exotic new food d but this was just way to much and who are the friggin freaks who would pay money to eat human BALLS....that is just gross my husband was holding his nut sack the whole time I was reading this article -  from Huffington post see below

Mao Sugiyama, a self-described "asexual" from Tokyo, cooked up, seasoned and served his own genitalia to five diners at a swanky banquet in Japan last month,Calorie Lab reported.

In most cases, "asexual" is a word used to describe a person who is non-sexual. Sugiyama, however, embraces it as a way to show that he does not affiliate with either gender.ust days after Sugiyama's 22nd birthday, the artist underwent elective genital-removal surgery, divvied up the severed penis shaft, testicles, and scrotal skin between five people, and garnished it with button mushrooms and Italian parsley.On April 13, five of six diners who signed up for the $250-a-plate feast, sat down to dinner. The sixth person was a no-show. Images showed dozens of people who attended the event just to catch a glimpse of the rare treat.

• Every week I will be highlighting a major DOUCHE BAG.  I decided to highlight a real awful person this person is one that fakes cancer. I don't believe{oh yes I can}  that there are people like this in the world. In my world if you got caught doing something so despicable your punishment would have for the person to go through chemo to experience the awfulness that is the big C. On behalf of my mom and all who are living/fighting/have fought this disease everyday! 

Below is the scum bucket for the week 

She used donations to get breast implants

Twenty-seven-year old Jamie Lynn Toler, of Phoenix, AZ, allegedly lied to everyone in her life in order to purchase a boob job. Toler is accused of telling her former employer, her mother, and her grandparents, that she had breast cancer and needed a double mastectomy and breast reconstruction. Toler claimed she could not afford these life-saving surgeries because she had no health insurance. Thanks to the generosity of her friends and family, Toler, who organized fundraisers for her mission, raised over $8,000.

Unfortunately, when police investigated the case, they found that Toler never had cancer and had used all of the $8,000 to pay a plastic surgeon for breast implants. Toler paid the surgeon in cash.

OK I know I used this BB pic last week but you know what I love BB and it's Friday and a long ass weekend too boot -  rock it out folks....Happy Friday

Why are some.....

women some undercover bitches?  You know the type

• Claims to be everyone's friend, 
• Disguises herself in the body of the sweet as pie girly girl always helpful blah blah BLAH  - the most dangerous because you never know how evil they can really be 
• Sociopath liar who lives in a fantasy world - the worst is when they are not good at it 
• Self centered shifty asshole{s} 
• Always playing games you never know were you stand with them
• When you confront undercover bitch{s} about all the above what is the creative comeback in 95% of said undercover bitche{s} cases? -  "Oh you/they/our all just jealous..... Give me a f*ckin break you self centered cow! 

I am so sorry to say but when anyone man or woman talks "about how women are" I have to agree...sorry but I do..... Some women can be vindictive, nasty, unforgiving, catty, and just plain mean. I sometimes wish we were more like men...you have a problem, you get it out on the table you might or might not beat the shit out of each other but then it's all good let's have a drink.  Some women tend to hold on to it and do the passive aggressive thing.  There is no loyalty among the UB{undercover bitch} you can never fully trust her...believe you me I have been burnt by an UB as well as others - I am not going to go in the details because just the thought of her sets me off were she is fortunate I had other friends keep me back from smashing her face into the ground. Augh....lost myself there for a moment..Wusa....Wusa..OK I am back.   I have seen it in some play groups{which are the worst}, grocery stores, supposedly women "support groups" and so on. I am keeping my fingers crossed that when GG starts preschool I am not going to be met with this uber bitchy high school clicky thing because I am in my early 40's and let me tell you I just don't give a f*ck anymore. If I were not say anything in a shitty situation it would be because of my daughter. God.....I really hope that GG does not have to go through this kind of crap but I would be lying to myself to make me believe it is not going to happen at some point in her girl career. I really do not deal with UB{s} anymore I have encountered the species but I chose not to get overly involved. To this day I would rather have a straight up in your face bitch than some UB. At least with an upfront bitch you know where you stand.

I am in my early 40's at this point in my life the good friends I have had have been the ones that I have had forever and have been their for me through hard times as well as the good so
The die hard's, the bad asses and the semi drunks {j/k}.  I thank my lucky stars that I got fortunate enough to meet this group of kick ass ladies who do not take and do not give shit. Cheers lovely ladies you know who you are!

Paris being the queen of the undercover bitches 2006
Karma came back to this one heard that Tara and Kim are now friends and they totally dissed Paris in Cannes on P whatever yacht
Yes little bit of stupid ass gossip to get you through the day...lol

Kinda Wordless

hump day!   Here I am trying to relax while I am getting my brows did the other day. I open up my eyes and this is what I see.  For the next 20 minutes all I hear is mommy, mom, mamma, ouch ouch mommy, hurt hurt mommy.  Bounce bounce.....

How we survived......

Done...Done and DONE

a toddler sleep over. As some of you peeps have read GG had her first sleepover this Friday night with her cousin LDog. It is something that I want to to frequently with GG in order for her and her cousins to spend as much time together as they can. They are about a year apart from each other and since I am planning on not having anymore little ones I want her to develop a close relationship with her cousins.  Something I don't have with many of my cousins in Italy - sad but true. I do keep in contact with a couple on my dad's side of the family fo' sure - on my moms side of the family not so much but we will go into that soap opera drama in another post.
LDog got dropped off about 12:00 and my SIL hung out for a bit and we had lunch it was fun just to have them hang out and be kiddos. The weather kicked ass so they were getting their jiggy on with the water table the best thing EVER for warm days. That and a hose keeps them busy for hours.

Living the vida loca 

Later on in the afternoon we had a couple of the neighbor  boys come over and it was on like Donkey Kong. It was crazy man...CRAZY. While they were doing their thing outside I started getting some dinner ready. I decided to make some pizza's so it was time to get the dough ready for some toppings.  I saute all my veggie ingredients before placing on the pizza so not to have raw veggies on top of it.

Pizza Pizza Pizza 

I also baked the little buggers cupcakes...did a butter cream frosting from scratch and these were my best batch ever!

After some dinner and sugar we set the rockets off in the playroom downstairs while the adults had a few adult beverages upstairs. Hey man I needed some wine it was a tough afternoon and now I know why I decided to stop at one child.  After an hour in the playroom drama I go downstairs and see

This 

This

 and THIS

The playroom after the toddler aftermath......I lost the fight to keep everything neat and said f8ck it!  I started a mental list of what to have on hand for a toddler sleep over I called it the toddler sleepover survival guide.

• Wine 
• Other adults to keep you from jumping off the roof of the house 
• The following DVD's - Toy Story 1,2 and 3 - because of limited toddler  attention span I watched all 3 damn movies in bits and pieces for an hour and half
• Nice weather permitting any type of water table, mini pool, water guns ect....
• Assemble provisions - especially the awesome trail mix toddlers eyes light up when they spot the nutty goodness 
• Valium - kidding  
• Extra lock feature for the front door - leader of the toddler pack figured out how to open front door 
• More wine 
• Extra dog treats for your dogs for they will be traumatized by all the extra shouting, throwing, and chaos around them 
• Sleep the night before because you will get very little on sleep over night - between being jacked up on sugar and the excitement of sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag sets them off were you can't calm them down. 
• Your sanity 
• Get ride of all batteries from toys period by the end of the night I had ringing sirens in my ear from the noise level those damn plastic crap toys from hell
• Bubbles what is it with bubbles? Bubbles is to toddlers like a crack pipe is to a 5.00 hooker - yes I said HOOKA"
• Oh did I mention wine? 

All in all it was a super couple of days I got to spend some time with my nephew and my little one with her cousin. We finished off Saturday by going to the beach with the pups. Ldog must have had fun because he did not want to go home. I told my SIL that we should do this once a month - at that point I think saw my husband stroke out in the background. Fin

Happy Sunday........

WTF Friday.....

Hello hello my special friends. Another Friday and our weekend is looking packed. Another warm and beautiful day here in NoCal and I am getting ready to hit the gym. I need as much energy as I can today for my little GG is having her first sleep over tonight. Nothing major just her cousin LDog who is 3 and full of energy. Thank goodness I stocked up on some vino from last weeks Napa adventure. I will be making homemade thin crust pizza for dinner and baking them some cupcakes today....My husband is kinda of freaking out...... 2 kids but we can handle it...we got this......no problem.....Wish us luck! Have a super Friday......

• Octomom giving mommy advice to Tanning Mom...Are you serious?  Both of you are NOT the role models of what moms should be. Kettle meet pot. Can we just have them duke it out in some jello? Can you imagine the freaks that would pay up to that show. 

 Let's get ready to ruuuuuuumble 

• Why is it that you make a list, you check it twice and you still forget shit at the grocery store 

• When you step up to a bar, a coffee bar, restaurant to go order can you please have your shit together so not to have people waiting for more than 10 minutes because you cannot order a drink or make up your mind on what you want off the menu. Step aside we will show you how it's done. 

• Why is it that their are some ladies out there who never give props on how you cook/bake/do because they feel the need to always try to one up you? Patience level is reaching all time low and I feel I will soon blow and when I do it will not be pretty. 

• People who have full blown conversations on their cell phones when everyone around you is trying to work out...STFU

• WTF is with these chicks who are wearing hard core metal shirts...I know it's "trendy" right now to do so however you know half these biatches wearing them have no clue and have probably never listened to a Anthrax/Metallica/Pantera EVER in there lives. 

If you can't rock out like B& B then you have not right to sport the T

• 67 year old man dies of heart attack at stripe club after a few lap dances ...wtf poor dude but I guess if you got to go that is the the best way to go

• Liars - enuff said 

• Oh lord I used to worship Fonzie from Happy Days.....today though the life insurance commercial he is doing as left me completely speechless.   Me.... Speechless?!?

•  Dear Mark Zuckerber we get that you are a total rich man and probably don't give a shit and you can buy anything you want so could you pretty please then go out and get your self a stylist. Your "immature" dress code is kinda of getting old. Your a 28 year old man not a little boy going out to play.  There is a reason GQ voted you one of the worst dressed.  Take some style pointers from the below gents. They know how to do it!

Tom Ford 

The Big DB

Ryan Reynolds 

The Charlotte Syndrome....

Everything is fine...All fine.....everything is fine

that is what I call it.  I am comparing this type to Charlotte from Sex and the City. In your world it could be a Betty, Lucy or a Heather to me it is the Charlotte. When I encounter this breed of woman it is hard for me to relate because I am not like this and I do not know what makes this person the way that she is.  You know the type my child is perfect, my child can do not wrong my child is the next *fill in the blank*. He/she doesn't cry, sleeps through the night,  already eating solid foods, walking as soon as he was born, can drive a car, got MBA, won Nobel Peace Prize yada...yada...yada.

Now as bad as SATC2 was I did watch it.  I love this part-


Ms. Charlotte is at the wedding and her hubby is stating that Rose is basically a complete nightmare and cries all the time you know being real about the situation and Charlotte interjects and is like...No...No she is just a little fussy  - as she shoots her hubby a death stare...like how could you possibly let our friends know that our child is not perfect?


Oh and I love this part even more

Ms. Charlotte is in her all white kitchen in her all white vintage Valentino outfit and heels let's not forget heels.....Instead of losing her shit like a regular mommy so her little ones don't see her "breakdown" she kinda freaks and locks herself in the pantry to cry because one of her demon seeds gets red frosting all over her white outfit {pfft} and her baby just cries and cries and is just plain annoying.  But instead of venting to her friend Carrie and just letting lose like a normal mommy she decides to run and lock herself away. I know that she probably did this not to have her kids see her breakdown but you know what girl sometimes you need to show your emotions to your children and show them your not perfect because NO ONE and I mean NO ONE is perfect no matter how hard you try and portray that you are.  BTW Heels in the kitchen is stupid {my opinion} and anyone who does do it is looking for future major back problems and an accident. I do allot in heels but cooking is not one of them.

A Charlotte is the kind of mommy that makes you want to bash your head against the wall. Everything is a competition and the last thing you want to do is listen to all the bull shit or worse of all call them out on it. I am surrounded by allot of Charlotte's in my area.  I am super lucky that I found one play group were the moms are super cool, laid back and not annoying. I have noticed that the older I get the less patience I have for Charlotte's. I have begun to avoid the Charlotte's because of what could possibly shoot out of my mouth to offend a Charlotte.  I want to shake the Charlotte's and say to them...

• Just because your kid is mellow now does not mean your kid will be like that forever chill the fuck out with telling people how good your kid is all the time it's annoying
• Terrible 2's and 3's they happen to all kids yours will not be immune to it 
• Once they taste walking freedom things will change - so enjoy those nice restaurants now 
• Napping, eating, hanging out all those patterns change so when they don't "do" at exactly the same time as they have it means the child is growing an changing get used to it and get over it.

I have learned all these the hard way I had no one to help me out. At the time I was the only one in the group that had a kid so I could not compare notes. I only had the mommy acquaintances that I made through networking in the area and when you first come into a group it is hard enough then your confronted with The Charlotte's who make you feel like you don't measure up as a mother...I have now learned that Charlotte's are mommy's that will never show you the real them and everything around them is kind of a Alice in Wonderland effect and not exactly real. They put a show on for the camera. 

I have now gotten comfortable in my mother role. I am the first to admit that on some days I suck at it!  I am the first to tell you my kid is turning into an a**hole and that she drives me completely batty and her listening skills is like talking to a wall.  I cuss allot, I watch waay to much reality TV and I read garbage magazines. But you know what I am doing the best that I can with what I have. I give her tons of love and make her feel as special as I can everyday. After all I want to raise an excellent kid not a perfect one. 

Mother of the Year 

High School....

Hookers...Yep you read it right high school hookers. Man you have to love Lifetime the channel for scaring the shit out of women and mothers with daughters. Do you know how you wake up some morning's and all you wanna do is organize and clean shit...No....Bueller...Bueller....OK so it's just me then.  I decided to take a little breather from organizing stuff today - while my little one was napping I decided to catch up on some blog reading . I turn on the TV which I do just to have some human noise in the background besides that of a screaming toddler all day.  Boom I turn it on and there it is side tracked  by the movie title high school hookers and I am like...Come on this has to be good...right? I mean really how can you not stop to check out this little bit of juicy. Yep I watched it so friggin sue me.

You probably guessed what the movie was about just based on the title.  Little high school girls want shit, girls come from good families are bored so they want to buy more shit,  some of them have daddy issues, hat mom blah blah....pimp finds vulnerable little girl and turns them into hookers. The twist in this little number is that the pimp looks like Mr. straight lace church going school officer...Yep the SOB is an officer in the high school so he has his pickings of little darlings.  Totally was not shocked because you know what I have heard and read that shit like this actually happens all the time and is super common in highs schools.  I just read an article not just long ago about a couple locally that were recruiting girls from the highs school with the promise of money, drugs and a family style environment. This scares the living day lights out of me I am not going to lie. This is terrifying and the more I hear about this kind of stuff the more I want to lock my little one up in a tower and home school her ass.  Why are their so many young women who are so vulnerable to opportunist? Is it because the pimps who are trafficking these young girls are made out to be glamorous by the media?  I also believe that many young girls today are about the mighty dollar. Some of this generation of ladies do not seem to believe in hard work - they want fame and money and they want it now. They do not want to work for it. To many girls think if they have money everything will be OK. I mean come on can you blame them look around fame whores are all around us - we have Kim Kbutt made famous via a sex tape now E television is paying the family 40 million dollars for being their annoying selves. Paris Hilton, The Bling Ring, Lindsay, moms whoring out their daughters on toddlers & tiara's ect....there are  too many to list.  What disgust me is that if their was no demand their would be no problem who are these perverts that feel the need to pay to be with young girls in order to make themselves feel more powerful...yeah that's a real man alright.

I know that out in the world you are always going to encounter scum the scary part is nowadays it does not look like of what your movie image of a pimp is. It could be the nice couple down the street who are always so nice to the neighborhood kids, it could be one of your daughter's friends in high school, it could be a standing member of the community. I believe that you cannot trust anyone when it comes to your child. I am already super paranoid by nature but when you toss in shit like this my guard is at a full 150 percent war mode.

Mmmm...maybe I should just stop watching Lifetime.

What a relaxing ass...

weekend. It was perfect and we all really needed it. We have been having some major summer time weather in our area but however good things never last and once it gets super butt hot in our valley areas we on the coast get socked in with fog. I got up Saturday morning and looked outside my window and I flipped off the foggy thickness of the bay area.  F*CK man I was looking forward to hanging out with the doggies and the fam at the beach but noooooo.  I got up and said screw this let's go a chase some sun and we decided to head to my happiest place on earth the Napa valley which is a 45 minutes card ride from my casa. Wine {yes I broke my wine vow} but you know what,  is was worth every damn drop and boy did it relax my whole body. I don't know if it is because it reminds me of Italy/France countryside but as soon as I am up there I am a  whole different person. Husband and I have decided that this is the place we will probably retire. We did not know this going up but they closed down the whole main street for this rad ass old school car show - you know when cars were actually made of  steel and had the body of goddesses. It was great just cruising up and down the street hubby with a beer me with some vino and checking out the cool rides. Check out some of these beauties.

This is my ultimate dream car 

Oh this was so funny...beer tent at the event. Check out how many strollers are parked at the beer tent. Yep this was a friggin crack up....Hey you know we parents need some juice sometimes...lol

Stroller double parking at beer tent.....Classic 

After the cruise we had a nice rowdy lunch because their is no other way to have lunch with a toddler except for it to be rowdy. Nuther' glass of wine please! We did a little bit of shopping and then it was off to Dean and Deluca which I worship the alter of. I know they are a bit overpriced but as soon as you walk in to the place the smell of prosciutto, fresh bread and cheeses make your mouth water to the point of drowning.

Pit stop done then we were off to visit a really good friend at the winery she works at. It was awesome seeing her she is going through a tough time right now so I just wanted too let her know that we are there for her. Plus we got the opportunity to taste some amazing wine while we caught up. It was so much fun seeing the reaction of people who were coming into the tasting room to see us in there with a toddler who was fast asleep in her stroller - relax we had a few sips the size of a nickle so let's not get our panties in a bunch we were good. Little bit of a care package made it's way back to our home.

After that little jaunt we were P-O-O-P-E-D and decided it was time to head back home which we really really did not want to do. Napa is the kind of place you just want to stay in towards the evening it is always nice to walk around after some dinner without a jacket and actually see stars. My husband said if we did not have the doggies to get back to we would have found a hotel and stayed the night....We got home decided to grab some super super thin crust pizza's from our local yummy pizza place and headed home. Dogs were super super happy to see us and they were ready to go for a walk. Today has been pretty laid back day and  I have had fun celebrating my 2nd Mother'd Day - I got to take a shower all by myself this morning something that I had wished on to my husband when asked what I wanted to do today. It was awesome!  I also found this by my bedside this morning from GG and my man - I love orchids they remind me of my mom and I love the way they are so graceful and elegantly beautiful.

Overall a  f*cking fantastic Mother's Day weekend. Hope you all of you hot moms are having a great day and weekend.