Grab a glass of wine....

and let's get to know each other{I am having a friggin diet Snapple} because I am not doing the drinking thing for a bit....DAMN you wine why must you be so good. So today I had some extra time and since I could not bear to watch another ANTM marathon - sorry folks their is only so much Tyra Banks a person can take. I was cruising some blogs and come upon this blog hop The Ultimate Blog Party 2012. I was like why the hell not let's give it a whirl. So here is a little about me. 

Welcome to my blog. 40 something new mom trying to keep it all together without losing her mind. Former "work obsessed/party girl" now a at home captain trying to figure it all out. I will shoot straight from the hip - no sugar coating here on "new mommy" anxiety, recipes, losing the baby weight {TY weight watchers}and general stuff that makes me crazy. I am here to get it all out so I keep my family and myself sane. I am Italian which means I am opinionated, loud and cuss allot.  I do not mince words and I am pretty blunt so it you offend easily this is not the blog for you. 


I don't craft, I don't kiss ass and I am way to old to give a shit. I love to cook, bake and shop not necessarily in that order. I hate to admit that I watch and love most reality TV, and I am obsessed, obsessed with celebrity trash rags and news.  I collect and have a very serious problem with handbags.  I love to shoot the shit on everything under the sun, except for religion and politics. Some subjects are better left alone. 
This is my husband and my beautiful miracle child. You will not see pics of me - one day I would love to run for president and what I say here could one day come back and bite me in the ass.  I hope you have fun on this journey of craziness and self discovery. 

GG and hubman I will not use real names 

Cheers and peace out peeps 

It looks....

This is my daughter stomping on my heart 

like this morning and the rest of today will be I hate mommy and love daddy day. This morning when my little GG got up she decided she would stab me in the heart with the first morning ever that she turned to her daddy and not me. She did not even want to look at me. I knew that this day would happen I just did not think it would hurt this bad. I always thought...pfft no big deal I will get a break from GG and can do my thing...nope did not go that way and when it happens it really really hurts.  So far this am she has been super glued to daddy...I love it but I guess because I am always the one she turns to it kind of seems weird. I need to get over it I guess but it does not mean I gotta like it.

Happy Saturday

WTF........tickle....

my butt Friday and if this offends you then this is not the blog for you....Yeah yeah so I am extra spicy and bitchy this morning that is what happens when you have 0 brain power left and getting over some stupid dumb ass head cold. I have been so scattered and foggy that yesterday morning I got my what I like to call My What's the Point {decaf non fat latte 2 splenda's} placed it on top of the car roof and drove away. Yeah FML....But you know what I love it because it is part of my crazy ass everyday vita.  So let's get this weekend started right and rip into some fun stuff.

• Why do women shave off their eyebrows only to draw them back on in some weird twisted way...I mean how the hell does someone have the time to do this everyone morning it makes no sense

• Why are women labeled sluts and men studs when they do their thing and enjoy the S-E-X?

• OK now Phildelphia Cream Cheese is being made in chocolate...OMG just shoot me now......Nutella now has a partner in crime

• Today I almost dropped a bitch at the dollar store that made an under her breath {I heard you and you knew I did because you took off in the other direction when I shot you a look}comment on what my little GG was wearing {my daughter knows how to rock her wardrobe} this coming from a hoe that was dressed like she escaped some sort of dancing with the stars reject camp. You were also a 45 yr old woman why you felt the need to comment is beyond me.  You were lucky you caught me on a mellow day today my friend very lucky. 
• Why is it then we you leave the house and you think you look fly,  you get to your destination and you look in some random mirror and your like wtf this is not working for me anymore.

• Axl Rose you were the front man to an amazing group of musicians with your doucheness you ruined one of the best bands ever. You now are throwing the same BS that you did 20 plus yrs ago and refusing to be part of the RR hall of fame one of the top honors for musicians. Grow the f*ck up and stop being a total a**hole. 

• Kim and Kayne who do you think spends more time in the mirror and which one is more annoying? Oh and by the way Kanye the shoes are UGLY you should be slapped upside your head with the 6K shoe

• Is this is a generation thing or am I just over the top neat but has some of this generation of ladies become complete and utter slobs?  I have noticed some dirty bitches on some of these reality shows. If I was a man I would not even want to be with this type of woman.   Sorry their nothing nastier than a dirty female. Also the whole I don't cook, clean, do laundry take care of the house thing is getting old might sound old fashioned here but men actually appreciate a woman who knows how to do these things. How do people live like this?

• Please please just go away... am sick of hearing about your post baby body {can you tell that this woman just rides my last nerve}. She looks great but sometimes to much is to much

• So I am watching this really bad ass infomercial with the lovely hotness of Cindy Crawford and can this fine piece of ass get any hotter she is 42 and looks like she is the same woman she was 15 years ago. I have fallen in love all over again....She is why I moisturize every part of my body especially the face twice a day.

• Talk about some weird show and tell. This is so so sad A 5-year-old boy found dozens of bags of heroin inside a jacket he had taken to school and showed them to his kindergarten classmates, the school superintendent said Tuesday.
  
  Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2012/04/10/national/a060913D62.DTL#ixzz1rvdJC7A7

Happy Friday bitches!

Chinese Water Torture......

or traveling with a demon seed toddler. I would probably take the Chinese water torture.  I do not know why we as parents put ourselves through this hell but we do and let me tell you I don't give a crap what other people have said I have never seen a toddler travel well unless

1. they were medicated or
2. they were heavily medicated.

If you are the fortunate few that were handed the angel toddler of travel my hat's off to you but I have never experienced this known phenomenon. I have traveled with GG before,  her first trip was to Maui for her first birthday and then to Mexico a few months later.  She did fine but she was  "technically" still a baby and not full on mobile yet.I popped a bottle of milk in her mouth and we were asleep in 1/2 hr flat and stayed that way for the remainder of the flight.   My darling piece of sunshine is now a full fledged toddler and as much as I love her the biggest pain in the ass when she is stuck in one area for too long and has very little patience.  Of course I am worried about what she is going to do and what kind of mood she will be in. We are leaving pretty damn early so it should {maybe} work in our favor...I really hope the hell is does because I HATE to fly and will fully be medicated on Xanax.  I am not one for really giving a crap about what other people think but I do not want my toddler taking over the plane and bothering passengers.  I do not want to become "those people" because I remember that before I became a parent I did not want to be around kids/babies on a plane. I have started getting some small new toys ready for the trip like really inexpensive little knick knacks from the dollar store. I am going to have a fully loaded Ipad with new videos and games. Snacks and non sugary food and a bunch of other crap, but their is still the black cloud of the unknown that is lingering above my head. My husband is thinking that I am making it a bigger deal of it that it is but you know what it is hard for me to be positive we are after all traveling with a.......toddler. You know a f*ckin toddler. One minute they are as happy as can be then 2.5 seconds later BAM out comes evil toddler.  You are up shit creek w/o a paddle because their is NO were to run when you are stuck up in the air inside a metal tube with already very cranky passengers.  I am no means a softy when my kid needs a spanking they will get a spanking {light on the butt} but in this lovely world of ours if I choose to discipline my child  the way I see fit I get persecuted as a bad mommy. Let's keep it real here folks, time out does not friggin work in every situation. Some people think that time out is the magical key to fix it all well you know what IT IS NOT.  I have seen many mothers out and about with their kids trying to use the time out threat and when Billy is on level 20 of a temper tantrum that shit does not fly!

I mean let's face it kids have become very unpopular in the last few years because some parents just don't handle their business. From airlines banning kids in first class, actually turning around planes to restaurants not allowing them to dine in their establishments. Kids to some of our society members are no longer cute they have become a PITA and annoying. People are not empathetic in the least. Many folks are like then why are you taking her on a plane if it causes so much anxiety? 
Because we too have the right to travel and expose my child to different countries and people. My GG is also a flower girl in her first wedding. I paid for a full airline ticket just like everyone one else on basically what is a glorified BUS. We need to remember that kids are not perfect no matter how many times some mothers like to think that their kids have flowers blowing out of their butts. Traveling as adult sucks ass can you imagine traveling as a toddler?

This afternoon I purchased some baby benadryl.....yes I did OK I did DAMMIT don't judge me! I got it today because I need to test out to see if it works on her. I heard that it works like cocaine on some kids and that is the last thing I want it a wired toddler on this flight. It sucks but I have been all over the "mommy" boards and let me tell you I am not the only one who is bringing this up in the air for back up.I also will be full locked and loaded with extra cash just in case the little one is wired I am going to be buying some passengers rounds of happy juices = alcohol. If anyone has some awesome words of advice or full proof keep toddler busy on plane let me know.

Fingers crossed and wish us luck.

Send Mucinex......

STAT. I knew this was coming but I tried my hardest not to fall in the crutches of the head cold. Popping vitamins like Pez and drinking as many of those 1,000 vitamin packets I could find. But damn you germs you have invaded my temple.I felt it coming on last week that is why I had not my usual amount of energy. I feel like I have a semi truck parked on my nose and head. GG is also snotty at the nose but you know those kiddos even if they are not feeling that well they have energy to spare.  Today is going to be a pajama/bed day for me and GG. We don't do them often but when we do we truly enjoy them because it is just her and I chillin' out, playing with dolls, coloring and enjoying each others company because my baby is growing up. I have learned that we need to take these very special moments and truly cherish them because you never know what kind of curve ball life will throw you. It is hard for me as a person to relax it really is since I am always on the go. Even on days like this I feel guilty because I am kinda laying around not doing anything - OK I lied I changed the sheets on the bed, running second load of wash and cleaned up and vacuumed upstairs and then I had to stop because I was sweating profusely  from just that....SEE this is why I suck and being sick. This is one of the bad traits that I posses which I am truly trying to get away from.I also need to get this nipped in the bud because the one thing I truly hate is to not feel well.  Easter was so chill this year. This is the first year I did not cook and we did not have an elaborate affair. I was sick and half my family was out of town for a 60th birthday party. So it was just us and my pops. My husband made some great easy food and I had chicken soup with a whole lot of tea. GG got so much loot it's  crazy - stuffed animals are taking over my casa.

The next few weeks are going to be hectic so I need to make sure I am in tip top shape. I also bought this amazing cocktail dress that I need to make sure looks tits when I wear it so I need to be in the gym everyday for the next couple of weeks.

I hope everyone had a super Easter this mama is going to take a mucinex and crawl back into bed to watch the Client List because I love me some Jennifer Love Hewitt.