Monday, September 5, 2011

If I ever had a.....

child I would never ever have them do/act  ___________. I left this part blank because anyone can fill in the blank with any type of comment "they" need. It is pretty easy when you do not have a baby/toddler to voice your opinion on what you would do if you had an actual live little human being running around your house/out in the world at the time. I am directing this post to the people who do not have kids that decide to put their 2 cents in regarding the raising of yours. I am pretty passionate about this subject because I speak from experience I used to be one of "those"people. See.... we never planned on having kids, it was just not in the cards for us. So it was easy to sit there and say if I had a kid I would yada, yada, yada. We were blessed with a very special gift from above so now we know how it feels to be parents. And even though their are many high points to being a parent it comes with it's lows. One low point for me - what the hell clicks in the brain between the age of 13-19 months that makes them almost impossible to deal with {Oh geeze ...I know I still have not hit the T2's yet}. I guess it is because they are feeling their first taste of freedom and it is sooooo cool. Look at me mommy....I have been a prisoner for months...now I can walk, climb and jump of things...Swwweeettttt...*thumps up sign*

I was raised the old fashioned way....If I chose not to obey I suffered the consequences and it was not called "time out. " That was 20 plus years ago things have changed and if you decide to discipline your child this way {which I have} today get ready for all the BS that will get swung your way. Let's get this out right now...light spanking on the rear does mean child abuse. There is a big difference between beating a child black/blue -{which is inexcusable} and light tap on the ass because they are completely out of control and reasoning is not working - no matter how many time you have threatened them with the TIME OUT...and anyone with a child/has been around a child knows exactly what I am talking about. I as a parent will NOT BE held prisoner by my child. I am the parent. Until she is 18 she will abide by my rules. Even if in the teens I have to send her ass to boot camp....lol I am going to say one thing and I am not saying this because she is my kid because when she acts like a little a****** I will be the first one to admit it....my little one is not bad she is pretty well behaved but this last week she has started to show signs of the demon seed...and she has shown me behavior that is unacceptable. I have seen the "looks" from the people, MTB {mothers to be} and other mothers. Other mothers give me the look of understanding, MTB's/ the people give the look of if she were my daughter. There is not need to utter a word I can just tell from the expressions on the faces. When your out with your little one they YES get bored, restless and if they just started walking they want to explore. When they do something that is not cool you pull them from the coals and you do what you need to do to rectify the situation. But I do not need any extra advice, looks and ta ta's from the peanut gallery. So before you judge the poor mother who is trying to take care of the situation put yourselves in her shoes. If I knew then what I know now...I would have never ta ta'd and made those judgements in the past.  Just a little rant and rave on this awesome labor day!

xoxo Just Me

14 comments:

Working Mom said...

I just love your post! I am a mother to a very active, independant, and VERY strong willed little girl and just yesterday I was in one of those public situations. I could see that things were about to explode, so after several attempts at talking to her, I had to take her out of the store to spank her. I'm surpised I don't have any burns marks from all the aweful, hateful looks I got from other women and men. My husband and I have chosen to spank when time out or talking has not worked and it really helps. After her spanking, she was calm and well behaved for the rest of our shopping trip!
I wish every person could experience being a parent of a toddler for one day so that they could get a slight glimpse as to what we go through on a daily basis! Thank you again for your post.
Lauren

Mrs. Mommy said...

I give you a huge thumbs up for this post!!!! I have 3 kids ages 8yrs, 3yrs, and 18 months and I am so with you. If they need a time out fine, but eventually they will need their ass busted and I WILL do it. It's not a beating, it's not abuse.

Following you back :)

Ciao Mama's said...

Thank you ladies. It is so hard to explain the feelings that comes with being a parent!

Mrs. Tuna said...

We didn't spank very often and were always called the strictest parents of all our friends. Even our folks told us. But we raised a happy successful young woman who is now in her final year at ASU studying math.

Hello I'm Lala! said...

I agree!! LOVED this post!! I used to be one of those women too, who passed judgement because I did not know. Well, I do now!! And boy is it tough. My son is 2 and his defiance has commenced. Time outs and let's not do that don't always work.

returning the favor ;-)

Grandma Bonnie said...

You made some great points. I see this all the time while shopping. I feel bad for the moms and dads who are trying their best to control the situation. Those people watching should not be judging.

Grandma Bonnie said...

New follower from the Monday Mingle.
Hope you stop by for a visit. Have a great week.

Jen said...

I was raised very similar to you with values that carried over to the upbringing of my three, now teenage, children. While I did not spank my children often, it was saved for the most serious of consequencces, used just enough for my kids to understand the question, Do you want a spanking? Many times I left restaurants, grocery stores, libraries, even friends homes because my children needed to learn that there were certain expectations placed on them when out in public. I did not negotiate and did not coddle and "talk" to them in public, we left. Bottom line. My kids learnt very quickly that I was the Mum, parenting is not a democracy and you can make the rules when you no longer live in my home. My children were in bed by 730 every night, tired or not, my time was in the evening. It was tough, and stil is, being a single parent and you need to draw lines and let the child know, that they do not make the rules. I chose my battles, stood my ground and have amazing teenagers because of it. In fact, they will tell their friends they have a cool mum and don't mind being seen in public with me, with their friends around. That, to me ... says I did a good job and my kids actually respect me even when I probably seemed more like the Wicked Witch of the West than anything else ....... ;)

Ciao Mama's said...

Love all the comments. Spanking only happens when all other methods have failed and she is completely out of her mind crazy. Has only happened once so far. Hopefully she learned from the lesson.

My Inspired Space said...

thanks for following...following back...i really love this post...you are right..people should keep their comments to themselves..they have no idea what goes on inside your home...and sometimes it's really tough being a parent...have a great week....

Ashley @ It's Fitting said...

I believe in discipline as well. Parents who let their "spirited" children run amuck make me absolutely BONKERS. BUT, having not walked in their shoes (my kid is super chill and pretty well-behaved) I think that sometimes you do what you need to do to survive.

Jo said...

Love this post.

Also:

I've given you some INTERNET AWARDS! What could be geekier? I mean AWESOMER??

http://bumbumgerms.blogspot.com/2011/09/frajeelay.html

:)

-Jo

Lori Alexander said...

I got SO much heat for my posts on spanking. We raised 4 children and spanked them...no abuse ever. We never had terrible twos or rebellious teenagers. They knew who was boss at a very early age (and it wasn't them). They were a pleasure to raise. Good for you!

Ciao Mama's said...

Exactly I feel there are no more boundaries with kids that is why we have so many out of control/no mannered kids running around. No respect for authority...not in my house!

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