Oh say it isn't..........

so...Thing 1 and Thing 2 are now having a baby......

OH gawd I see all the friggin headlines that we will have to look at for the next months.....

1. Kris Jenner has new baby client/model for baby hooker wear
2. Kimye bloated, upset, gains too much weight blah blah blah 
3. Kim 8 months pregnant walking in 6 inch Louboutin heels see pics here first
4. Kimye baby shower Kbaby gets new custom Bentley 
5. Bruce Jenner disappears into Kim K enormous pregnancy ass 

I am sorry to say and this is strictly MY OPINION but these two seem to be 2 of the most selfish  narcissistic  people ever.  I truly do hope babyK will never gets hold of the XXX tape mommy made in order to get famous. OH bTw keeping it classy Kanye referring to the woman who is carrying your unborn child as your baby mama...REAL classy.....And Kim even though you don't DRINK your 12 weeks pregnant you showing up at a club opening in Las Vegas NYE is bullshit. Even though you don't drink you will have people around you who will and with that comes smoking which you and your baby will be around. I know that your are all about $$$$$ but hey lady it is time to start thinking that from today on your child comes first. You now take a back seat. Hope you can get that through your pretty little head.

Move over Kate your royal pregnancy has been upstage by the hugeness that is Kim's ass and even bigger Kanye's ego......

God help us through this.....

Back in the saddle.....

Was up - felt reindeer masks for the kiddos 

again....Well folks another Christmas has come and gone.....Heading into the home stretch of a New Year and 2013. Holy shit I do not believe that it will be 2013.  I am still like what the hell happened to the 90's and early 2000 ????....Christmas was fabulous at the house we went all out with the Christmas dinner and we had way too much of a good time. Planning a dinner party requires allot of time and organization and because I am anal and have slight OCD I start prepping about 2-3 weeks before the event. Between ordering the flowers, planning the table and food, coming up with a color scheme it takes some time.  Yep I know but I do not do things half assed and it is all or nothing.

Oreo Mini Cheescakes 

This year purple, white and silver 

The menu was as follows: 
I do assorted cheeses on a large cutting board - let's just say we are about cheese in this house and we have become known for the cheese tray.....
Various artisan breads
Short Ribs
Fresh crab stuffed sole baked with crispy bread crumb top
Twice stuffed potatoes infused with truffle oil and bacon
Shaved fennel salad TY to my SIL mommy
Roasted Veggies
Cream puffs with custard
Oreo mini cheesecakes with fresh whipped creme
Chocolate dipped pretzels with candy coating
Rice Krispies for the kiddos

Rudolph

Creme Puff Tower I filled with custard can we say SINFUL

Table setting 

All white flowers throughout the house

Chocolate dipped pretzel rods 

GG got total loot because I started present shopping early I forgot what I hid and bought so it was like holy crap man she got loot. My husband tells me I spoil her but I really do not. I have one of her and if she behaves and does what she needs to do then it is my pleasure if she behaves like a total brat ass it is nothing and tough shit. 

Barbie Doll House  

New Year is going to bringing many new challenges and changes. I am looking forward at looking for a new home with my family. It is time to get out of dodge and look for a larger place. We are moving closer to were my family is and all of my true blue friends are. I want my daughter to grow up around the same awesome friend unit I grew up around.  I have learned that you can only count on family and certain friends in time of need.  I am also excited to think that we will finally have a backyard. City living does not allow for much yard and even though I have hiking trails around me I would love just to open a back door and have my little out there with the pups. We are just out growing our place and I am beginning to feel a tad claustrophobic and quite frankly I am just ready for a change. I am super excited at the process...not so much the packing part...and the holy shit this dump is almost 900,000 and I have to do work before I even move in. YES people we live in California and the house prices where we live are just f*ckin high. 900,000 anywhere would probably buy us a nice piece of property or some type of McMansion but here near the lovely GGB is gets you shit. So I am not looking forward to that part. I am also thinking I might want to rent at first to see really check out the hoods so I don't end up in some lame ass neighborhood where the people suck. All my Xmas decorations have already been put away and stored away for another year. 

NYE my happy old ass is staying home and doing the family things. I did enough hard core partying through my young adult life that I do not need to wait in line for a drink. We are professionals we drink at home...lol. Anyways that is it for now. Hope everyone had a kick ass Christmas!

Cheers 

Hubba Hubba....

This morning I was up at my usual ungodly hour of 4:30 am. The house was still dogs sleeping, hubman and toddler out like logs. I do my usual and go downstairs, get myself some tea, turned on the Xmas tree lights and started to watch whatever stupid show was on the TV. Now yes I could have read or blogged but if I turn on the lights the dogs hear the click and think it is is food time and they come a charging down it sounds like 8 stallions running for water it scary and loud and not something I want to deal with at such an early hour.  For whatever reason while I was just laying down and hanging out on the couch watching the same Roseann episode for the 100th time Rachel Welch popped into my head. Now I cannot even tell you why the hell that happened especially while watching Roseann but it just did  - sometimes strange shit like this goes on in my head so I learn just to go with the flow.   I was curious to see how old the bronze goddess who with one bad ass fur bikini became the fantasy of many boys and some girls for years to come.  When I pulled this up I almost choked on my Get Gorgeous Tea. Are you friggin kidding me really...REALLY..If this is what 72 looks like where the hell do I sign up for treatments. Are you kidding me...ARE. YOU. F8ckin. Kidding me?!! I am not sure if she has had some botox and a little nip tuck here and there but whom ever her PS is that could or could have not done some wok hats off because the woman does not look like she has had much done and if she has had stuff done she  does not look like all these plastic cat women that I see wandering around. Since I will 43 in a short month...I am going to strive my best to make sure that I take care of my shit the very best way possible in order to look my very best. What an inspiration becasue you know what life does not stop at 40 as Hollywood want us to believe. You can rock your sexy hotness at whatever age.

God still sexy at 72...rock it sista! Snap!

If one....

more person comes near me with a snotty totally sick child or decides to cough in my face without putting their hands over their mouths we are going to have a serious problem. I have been on and off sick for the last three weeks. Every time I think I have kicked it...it those little bitch germs find a way to crawl back into my system. We attended an event with 25 kids that were coughing and snorting all over each other. I have been popping Riccola la crack and drinking so much wellness tea I am about to float away. Nothing seems to work not even my awesome go to always works Mussenix. The only positive thing about having this never ending cold is my voice is all sexy like Demi Moore.


Aughhhhh.......

Numb......

that is the state of feeling that I have been since Friday when I heard about the horror that occurred in Connecticut. When I heard the news I stopped the car and cried I cried like I have not cried in awhile just thinking of all those innocent children and the hero's that tried to save them. That day I went and picked up my child early and hugged her so hard...so hard that she asked me what was wrong. I could not tell her she is not even three and does not need to know or will understand what an evil place our planet can sometimes be.  In shock, scared, angry, confused......WHY...Why....I am sure this is the the only post that we will be reading about why this happened and would get make a human - no not a human a piece of sub garbage do something like this? Everyday I have asked myself that question. I will not go into detail about what a horrible monster this human who did this was because he does not deserve our time and I will not even mention his name because that alone brings so much anger in me I want to burst. I am only hoping that is their is a hell and that hell has a sub basement were people like him are made to suffer harshly  for the remainder of eternity.

I am scared and I do not scare easily. I have always been paranoid but now I am on super alert def com 5. I am going to my little ones preschool today to speak to the director to see what plans our campus has if something GOD forbid like this were to happen again. I hate to say this but this is one of the main reasons I did not want to bring a child into this world was because of some of the evil which shadows a black cloud over our planet. I have not slept much since Friday. Every time I look at GG I imagine the pain those parents will be going through for the rest of their lives. I imagine the children that had to witness something that an innocent child's eyes should never witness. We can play the blame game....but we will never know exactly what snapped in this humans brain that made him do such a horrific thing. We need to start digging deeper and fixing the problem not just masking it with a band aid.  I have turned off the news I can no longer watch.

Let's keep these little angels in our hearts and remember the courage of the hero's who risked their lives  protecting their students.

How refreshing..................

an actual celebrity who tells the truth about child birth and does not sugar coat it with rainbow farts and cupcake bull shit. Giving birth is hard it is called labor for a reason and no matter what route you decide to take au natural or epidural giving birth is hard work.  So it is refreshing to hear someone as hot as Megan Fox say:

"Giving birth was far more painful than she ever imagined".   I was screaming for an epidural!

AMEN sista preach it girl becasue it is not fun and it is painful. YES everyone's bodies are different and can tolerate different levels of pain however......maybe....just....maybe.....their are a few sub humans out there that have not experienced the "pain" while going through labor but I gotta tell ya folks I really do have a hard time believing it. I have seen women who have a huge levels of pain tolerance and I have seen them crumble while giving birth. So two thumbs up to Megan Fox for telling it how it is and not giving us a bunch of rehearsed beauty pageant answers. No bullshit just straight to the point. Do you hear that Ms. Giselle?

***BTW I do not like Giselle Bundchen - It has nothing to do that she is a beautiful leggy supermodel. I appreciate truly beautiful women I just think this chick does not know when to STFU and she thinks she knows everything about being pregnant and childbirth  She is annoying as f*ck and her voice grates my every last tingling nerve. Just some of the stupid shit that has come out of her perfectly formed mouth....

• "It wasn't painful, not even a little bit." - about labor - Liar...Liar pants on fire....What a crock of shit
• "I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months. - STFU you stupid stupid woman you have no idea what circumstances are for each mother...how about if the mother COULD not breast feed you ASSHOLE
• "I did kung fu up until two weeks before Benjamin was born, and yoga three days a week. I think a lot of people get pregnant and decide they can turn into garbage disposals. I was mindful about what I ate, and I gained only 30 pounds." OH God can someone please send me some duct tape so we can just tape her mouth shut. 
• ''Some people here (in the US) think they don't have to breastfeed, and I think 'Are you going to give chemical food to your child when they are so little?" - Her PR people really need to tell her to STFU - this one caused eye twitches from me

These are just a few if I had to list all of them we would be here all day. Listen everyone is entitled to their own opinions however this one should think about having her PR team look over her shit...because these are opinions that are made to make other people feel like total shit. Take that and stick it in your all natural pipe and smoke it.

Can someone please tell me......

WTF is wrong with some of the young adults that range from 20-29....I have noticed an alarming trend in the last few months around town especially in the area where I live.  We have some LAZY ass young adults. wtf happened to having some respect and pride in yourself to do what you need to do in order to become a productive producing member of society?  I am so sick of looking around and seeing young people waste their lives. I mean I do not even know where to begin. Is that some of these YA live at home and do nothing to help around the house nothing, zero, nada they just lay around in their grungy sweats all day and do nothing.   Is that you spend most of you days sleeping and your nights playing video games? Is that you are almost 25 and still have never held down any type of job  because your still trying to "find yourself" - I call  BULL SHIT that is called being f*cking lazy. You don't work, you don't go to school, you don't volunteer then WTF do you do with your time?  Now as you can see above I use the word some....before some of you get your panties in a bunch please remember that I am no speaking about all off this generation just some...and the bunch of somes that I have encountered are just so depressing, unmotivated and lazy that it takes all my might not to bitch slap them across their faces and say wake the f*ck up - your missing out on life! Their is a whole world out there...Yep I know things are a little tough right now but do something with your time don't hang out all day and do nothing with your life.....Shit I was a Generation X'er and we had some tough ass shit to during our times but I always had a job always no matter how menial or how little money I made. I see a generation of {some} slackers at this present moment in time.

I can tell you this...I am not that old but shit like this would have never flown in my house. We have YA"s who don't know how to balance a check book, pay their own bills or make a living in this world. I have seen YA women who don't know how to boil an egg and let me not get started on some of the filthy dirty women I have seen in the last few months.I mean dirty stuff all over the floor, bed sheets the color of dirt and hello can you please pick up your nasty underwear.....GOD how gross is that shit? At 21 I was running my own home cooking,  cleaning ect....working full time.   It was that way or the highway. Hubby and I have made it clear - when GG reaches 18 the following 3 choices will be presented to her.

College
Working Full Time
Military

She will not be coasting her life away not going to happen. My husband wants her to get her own place when she is 18 but being I am Italian I am fine with her hanging out for a bit as long as she is doing one of the three above. I worked from the time I was 14 and paid for my own college. My parents were kind enough to give me whatever they could from a private school education from grammar to high school to helping me getting my first car at 16....I paid for half of that car from the money I saved doing my part time job. I see allot of unmotivated slackers in our mist and what scares me the most is that GG is going to becoming home with one as her husband one day...That very thought keeps me up at night.

I really do hope it gets better but come one Generation Boomerang get your butts of the couch and start living life......

The Royal Nugget.....

So the world has found out that duchess Kate is now preggos. I mean even if you do not follow the gossip rags and crap news like I do I am sure as hell somewhere on some regular old news station you have heard that the little DK is expecting. Japan was hit with 2 pretty major earthquakes today not a blimp on the screen...Kate is preggos holy shit the whole damn world goes insane!  Now I am happy for her and Prince William even though I am not a huge royal family junkie like some of my friends{I did not even watch the royal wedding on the telly} I am really happy for them both but I however also feel real bad for them. This couple will not be left alone until this little royal nugget is delivered unto our wicked ass world. Every throw up, every pound she gains, every preggo skin breakout, craving and crappy mood swing the camera's will be there. Can you imagine going through a pregnancy {and appears she might just have a tough one} with camera's in your face documenting every little thing....Now I know there are some of you *MTB out in bloggland who are like...OMG that would be so cool to have someone document my every pregnancy move and glow...be careful what your ass wishes for because if I was a betting WOman I can kind of guarantee that it is not much fun.....especially when you feel like crap, and you just want to lay on the couch dive bombing a bowl of chips with M & M's, crying while watching something like Steal Magnolias and At&T commercials.  I bet having a super zoom lens camera aimed right at your huge stomach, ass and double chin is the last thing you would want. Could you imagine the headline?!?

I think her pregnancy is going to become a circus....I mean she is not even 12 weeks yet and the what do you think she is going the name game has begun I know people that are making their own lists WTF?????Really do you have nothing better to do with your time than to sit there and make up baby lists for the royal couple?!! Come one over my house I can give you a shitload to keep ya busy. The kid is not even here yet and I am already sick of hearing royal baby this and royal baby that. I mean I have a feeling this pregnancy is going to be longer than Jessica Simpsons I swear that girl was pregnant for over a year...or it just seemed that way because every move she made it was documented somewhere.And I am sure that dumb ass Giselle Bundchen will pipe in on what she should do and not do. ...She seems to have anointed herself the saint of preggo women everywhere....Love your body girl but damn you are one annoying ass supermodel!

Give the DKate a break and let her enjoy her pregnancy and all the ups and downs it comes with it....

*Mother to be

Drama 911.....

So I am like...kinda of...... wondering where the hell my daughter went? The last couple of weeks I feel like I have been dealing with Sybil you know the chick with the 101 personalities*BTW it came out that that whole things was a big ol shammy sham sham*. Back to GG I swear to George people she is driving me crazy. All of a sudden she has become little Ms. Diva and I will not stand for such bullshit. I mean it is like she is me when I am PMSing like a MoFo. If this little bit of attitude is anything what she is going to give me in her tween years I might as well sign up for rehab right now. I can deal that everyday I am getting a new person what I cannot deal with is the whiny girl she seems to have become overnight. The girl can't seem to remember that in order to get what you need done you need to ask for it like a person and not some whiny ass chick that sounds like a bad imitation on one of the ladies from real housewives when she does not get the big ass diamond she really wanted. I know she is a toddler and I need to cut her some slack but I will not have a little girl who whines it is like nails on a chalkboard.  I know their are many things I said to myself that if I ever had a child would never have them do...some I have not stuck to*HELLO Barbie* others I will not have her break me and that is to have a girl that whines. I hate whiny girls drives me insane in the membrane...I would rather have a girl who shouts than a girls who whines. And the drama Jesus H Christ the drama is so over the top I feel like I am in Clueless. Everything is an ordeal...getting in the car.....carrying her lunch pail...daily life.....Wahhhhhhh

Besides that she will not leave the house until she is perfectly accessorized and her shoes must match*My bad on that one I am pretty anal when it comes to how my daughter leaves the house*. Must be the Italian in me but my daughter is always put together might sound silly but that is the why I am programmed. I remember looking back at my baby pics and my mom did the same thing to me clothing were always stylish as stylish as the 70's could be but I was lucky I got allot of my clothing from my nonna in the old country and most of the Italian frocks rocked! She has also become a little OCD on how she likes to keep her toys whihc sometimes gang to tell you the truth scares me a little. I will go into her room to put the laundry away and I will have like 11 barbies staring at me all in this american psycho neat row....Kind of creepy but she is a little one trying to come in on her own......right?  If heads start disappearing and I find plastic body parts under the bed I think it might be time to worry.....I also would like the common courtesy that my daughter listen and answer me when I call her name. Nothing is more infuriating then calling my beloved GG 800 times before she answers. I also think that she is growing up and I need to be more patient with her. I just started having her buckle herself in her car seat because she wants to do it on her own an she can I just need to let her spread her wings and let her do her thing and I need to slow down and I need to start trusting her. I fell like three is going to be a magical year for my little one...she is already fiercely independent I wonder what is in store for me? Oh joy!

Who me...you talking about me?

You know when I started this little blog diary almost 2 years ago I never would have thought that I would still be doing and liking it. I feel that I can communicate freely. I love that when I feel anxious about anything I can vomit all that goes on in this crazy mind of mine and I have bloggcoolassfriends who never judge. I never did think about kind of introducing myself because hell I had no idea what the hell I was doing. But little by little I learned and truly begun to enjoy what I was doing. I like writing it is fun and I like that I can be as unfiltered as I wanna be. I have made some super ass cool friends through this little adventure and look forward to reading their bits of  life everyday. I just wanted to give you a little bit of an introduction to whom I am and what I am all about.

Welcome to my planet.........oh I mean blog.  40 something mom to a kick ass toddler. Had my shit kicker  later in life and she is keeping me young. Trying to keep it all together without losing my mind. A former "work obsessed/hard core party girl" now a at home crazy bitch trying to figure it all out. I will shoot straight from the hip - no sugar coating here on "new mommy" anxiety, reality TV,  whining celebrities and general stuff that makes me crazy which today can be anything. I am here to get it all out so I keep my family and myself sane. I am Italian which means I am opinionated, loud and cuss allot which I am really trying to work on since my toddler repeats everything I say and I do mean everything.....I do not mince words and I am pretty blunt so it you offend easily this is not the blog for you. 

I don't craft, I don't kiss ass and I am way to old to give a shit. I love to cook, bake and shop not necessarily in that order. I hate to admit that I watch and love most reality TV, and I am obsessed, obsessed with celebrity trash rags and news but heh at least I admit it. I can sometimes be a bitch as most women are...so if you think you are perfect this is not the place for you. I can be sarcastic and I can sometimes be a little to crude but you know what it is me take it or leave it.  I collect and have a very serious problem with high end designer handbags.  I love to shoot the shit on everything under the sun, except for religion and politics. Some subjects are better left alone. 
You will not see pics of me on this blog - one day I would love to run for president and what I say here could one day come back and bite me in the ass.  I hope you have fun on this journey of craziness and self discovery.

I love the following things, places and people

• My family and friends - duh 
• Anything to do with the Napa wine country 
• Wine 
• Being a good person - unless you royally piss me off and totally lie to me then you are pretty much done 
• Neiman  and Saks - Nordstrom to Barney's 
• Paris 
• Mademoiselle Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel 
• Karl Lagerfeld even though sometimes he needs to think before he speaks 
• The shade/colors of black and white and added a bit of gray in the last few years - shocker right?
• Salvador Dali 
• Horror films and horror directors that make a difference 
• Celebrity rags and mags and hello addicted a little to a place called TMZ
• Handbags, handbags some people have shoes I have handbags 
• I am a  foodie and enjoy great uncomplicated food in moderation 
• Chefs 
• Deserted beaches 

Things I don't really like - Oh hell that list would be too long and I would bore you to death and scare some people......

Hope you had fun....

Late 

Let's get our groove on......

Christmas Ale Gift Basket - Holla!

Yep folks I am wondering once again this week were the holy carnation November went....Hello is that December peeking right around the corner trying to make me anxious because I need to start the yearly Christmas shopping.  

Regular shopping I love.  Christmas shopping stresses me out.  I have family located throughout the country and it is sometimes hard to figure out what everyone wants you know what I mean...right?  Every year it is the same old thing...What does Aunt Martha need?  What do I get the preschool teachers? How about the mailman? If you are having trouble trying to figure out a perfect gift for a perfect someone a gift basket is a great way to go!

With sooooo many gift basket website choices out there trying to figure out which one to go with can let's say be a bit....Mmmm overwhelming. So I am gonna tell you about THE place all the cool people go to when they are in need of some basket joy. The place is http://www.giftbasketsplus.com/. This gift basket website has everything you could possibly want and for whatever event you might need a gift basket for!  They have a fantastic user friendly website, top notch customer service team and my all time fav live chat support.  I mean really folks Gift Baskets Plus makes it easy breezy.   You can send out Godiva chocolate baskets, beer basket and my all time favorite the wine baskets...hello hubby are you reading this?

Ultimate Wince Cellar Basket
Oh My

My husband sends out corporate gifts to all of his clients and we are definitely going to be using Gifts Baskets Plus this year. Now - besides that their selection is top notch I am going to sweeten the deal by offering an exclusive 15 percent coupon for my readers...only. Use the following coupon code of 15OFF on any of their glorious baskets. So do your old pal here at Mommy Bags a favor and go check them out  - all you need to do is hit the below link.  Right over here....you see it....yep that is the one.

http://www.giftbasketsplus.com/

They are truly delivering happiness in a box. 

Ok dude buy yourself......

1/2 a man

a clue and quit the show if your sooooooo against what the damn show stands for. I am so sick of celebrities bitching about what they do and how HARD they have it. You all of a sudden find God or some kooky ass cult and then all of a sudden the people who have made them who they are today*fame, a shit load of money, praise ect...*are awful degenerates. Listen kid anyone who goes to Hollywood to become an actor/actress knows somehow how the hell this town works. It is full of slithering slummy snakes not truthful telling pure angels. It's like stars who do not want their pics taken by the paparazzi you know what people you know what you singed up for and it is part of your job. Just like commuting is part of "regular" folks jobs it comes with the territory. Yes -  are some paparazzi a little off the chain crazy...YES but you know this is part of the job you wanted and struggled to to get to for so many years. big I don't want to hear bitching about the big time movie/sitcom star money you make the power you hold,  the admiration you receive and the free shit you get! Be careful what you all wish for and STFU.

This kid is making 8 MILLION Dollars a year 8 MILLION dollars. You know what people can do with 8 MILLION dollars a year you little shit?  Do something with your time/money - go volunteer instead of biting the hand that feeds you on some lame ass 1/2 hour comedy that for some reason is still on TV. if the show is "ungodly filth" and it goes against your Christina faith as you said then leave the friggin show and say buh buh to your 350,000 weekly paycheck and all your perks. I see that you have not done this yet? Mmmmm not yet right? I think this is a ploy for him to get back at producers I heard through the rumor grapevine*I don't watch the show* that his role has been diminished this season and he is trying to stay relevant. Mmmm could this be why this video popped up out of the blue? Perhaps if this is all about faith then good for you I respect you for it but if this is the case take that huge ass paycheck you get from a filthy show and give it away?  I really hope you saved your money dude because you really do not want to end up like most of the young sitcom stars in the past..... selling their autographs for $20.00 a pop at local comic book trade shows. Can anyone say Kirk Cameron......

Turkey Hangover........

Goddang has it been almost 6 days since my last post...Holly hell! I guess time goes by when your still suffering from the dreaded turkey holiday weekend. It was allot of work but also allot of fun. My stomach took a wrong turn because of all the rich food - I keep to a very light diet during the week so all the turkey and stuffing made my stomach strike out on me....Maybe a little TMI but...oh.....well. Besides busting my balls during the pre and day of Thanksgiving festivities we got slammed with the cold from hell in the house. Why... because that is the kind of shit that happens when you already have a shit load to do. I am sitting at my keyboard this morning, dripping away and looking at my daughter as I keep asking her if she is feeling OK? -  because the last thing I really want to do this morning is to get out of my comfy mommy jammies to drive her to preschool but I need to do it because the little munchkin needs to have her run around time even though mommy looks like hell and feels like baby diarrhea. All I want to do is curl up on the couch with a cozy comforter and drift off into a NyQuil slumber until my nose stops running. I had the day to get better yesterday but when you have a toddler around the casa their is no way you can rest the way you need to rest to get the sickies to go away.  I felt this bitch coming almost a week ago*besides that everyone I know as it*  I tried to fight it with every type of vitamin I could but the little bugger found my anyways it just gave me enough courtesy to wait until after Thanksgiving and just before my MIL left. I got a call from hubs this am and he to is coming down with it. Wooopppppieeeee

As you all I know I HATE being sick it is time consuming,  takes me off my work out schedule and makes me feel like a total blob. I hate lying around with no energy I am not built for it. And as I have said before when mommies get sick everything around the house comes to a stand still and nothing gets done. Not that my husband does not help but does not get done the way it should be done...in my eyes.  Plus he is tired from work and I don't want to ask him to do it.  I am going to drop my little one off for a few hours and see if I can get to the grocery store....maybe or just get home and get some rest before I have to leave the house again to pick her up. God where did all my energy go? Who sucked it through this vortex of sickness....God germs I really hate you...you...little assholes.

Peace lovely ladies and gents....Off to check out all the blogs that I have not been able to catch up on last week.

Tis the Season part II.....`

So as you lovelies out in BloggyLand know that this time of year in some cases cause me some anxiety. Not only do I have past flashbacks of when I used to work in retail but I had to have the holidays shoved down my throat as early as August when it came to the planning and merchandising our departments. So to say the least I have a really really bad taste in my mouth from Thanksgiving to after New Years.  I take a break from in store shopping during the month of November until the end of December. I do all of my shopping online during this time except for the grocery store.. Maybe it is because I am getting older and huge crowds bug the shit out of me. Or is it perhaps is that the stores get so over packed with shitty Xmas merchandise that as soon as I walk into the store it gets hard to breath. You would think that after all these years friggin Macy's would chill out on the thousands of ugly Xmas sweaters but obvi. someone out there is buying this crap in order for it to be ordered year after year.

What also gets me this time of year is the shitty customer service that some stores have. It is unbelievable that some people still hold jobs in this country. When I worked retail*and walked 11 miles in the snow* the shit that passes for customer service today would have never flown at our stores. Your ass would have been canned right then and there. I broke the cardinal rule of not going into stores during this time of year and got myself f8cked twice in 10 days. We needed a new fridge, went to buy new fridge at major appliance electronics company - *Starts with a letter B and ends with a letter B*.  Bought fridge#1, fridge#1 delivered nice delivery people did not fit even though I gave the employee measurements and reassured  us it would fit. I kind f had a melt down but not a big deal the delivery company was awesome and helpful and gave a shit. So not a huge deal.  Bye bye fridge #1

Go back to same friggin appliance store *dumb ass* bought another fridge was never told in store that the delivery people could not install the refrigerator at time of delivery.  WHAT THE F*CK???? What kind of company sells appliances only to have delivery people not able to set up the fridge. Are you friggin kidding me?  This was yesterday afternoon when I found this little fact out while my delivery person was extremely unhelpful and rude all he kept saying to me is that I needed to call this number . It would have helped that is I was sent a delivery person that spoke a little bit of English. There was no way for me to communicate with him because he did not understand what I was saying. I am not being rude here I am just stating a fact. this due was RUDE from the time  I answered the door I knew we were going to have a problem with him. I just got the I don't give a shit vibe you know the one I am talking about the one were is goes - I am only doing this job because I have to and I really don't give a shit that my whole days schedule has been based around this 4 hour delivery window. OH and you have all your food in an ice cooler ...Whatever! I was happy*at this point* I was getting my new fridge finally.

Oh yeah and during the time while I was trying to communicate in Italian hand signals I was also trying to prep for turkey day, running after toddler, keeping the dogs back from going after the delivery  person while on the phone with said company customer service department to try and figure out what the hell went wrong.  I would have NEVER purchased a refrigerator if I knew that it could not be installed by the delivery service. It was the worst day I have had in a long ass time the bitch driver made me cry and NO ONE makes me cry*ok maybe a few tings but not people I don't know* I was so over it took my awesome neighbor to calm me down and he decided to speak with them as much as he could communicate with them but he too had a hard time with it. We finally decided they were not the worth the hassle and refused the refrigerator.   I popped yesterday afternoon. I was DONE with shitty customer service. I am telling you this is one of the main reasons I have turned to online shopping the customer service is just better and you can tell that some of the companies actually give a shit about you. The only bright light yesterday is when my daughter looked up at me*in between tears* she looked at me and said

"That is OK mommy.....I love you much." She gave me a huge hug....at that point nothing else mattered....

BB you can take your fridge and shove it!

Pffftttt.......

So this morning I woke up and watched the news which I really need to stop doing. As my blurry eyes begin to focus on the screen I am greeted with this news line and this LOvely shot.......

People are already camping out in front of stores to snag Black Friday deals

WTF

What the hell is wrong with this picture..... 4....4 friggin days away then people wonder why I have total bad taste in my mouth for this time of year because when I see shit like this is makes me crazy...The deals are NOT that great people they are not.....Do some homework and you can get the same shit on line for the same if not less expensive. This is the time of year where you should be enjoying your family not the local Best Buy.

Can someone please explain to me why...WHY????

Don't you love.....

the kind of reading material I have by my place of slumber....Mmmmmm makes you wonder. I am so damn happy that it is Friday. I am tired, irritable and ready to get this first part of the holiday season over and done with. I have learned this week that if I ever tried to become a hermit I would completely lose my shit. I have been taking care of my dad during the day (hip surgery) and been holed in the house with my toddler daughter, cranky dogs and an even crankier toddler. She has been away from her toys, her routine and her norm. Mom has been away from her gym, her norm and her sanity. If I watch one more soccer game and here one more Italian news caster I am going to scream. I love my dad now don't get me wrong but damn I just am not made for hanging in the house all day I am just not that person. I am an out and about type of chick.

The drive home from my dad in traffic is an hour with the rain add on a 1/2 hour it makes it for a very long ass day since I get here any time between 7-8 am and leave at 6:00.  I need to get ready for turkey day which in my house means major prep about 4 days worth. I guess I just need to bitch it out I really do not have many people I can talk to about this so it does feel good t vent on my blog once in a bit. I know it will get better I am not a hippy by any means but I am off to sniff some lavender essential oils to calm my ass down..

Peace and love bitches!

The favorite child.....

The obvious favorite in this family 

There are days that I think I should have had another little one right after GG being 40 when I had GG it seemed better that we stopped at one.......anyway we are convinced that GG was some sort of miracle that happened one dirty Las Vegas weekend.  In a way I am happy that I am raising an only child because I would never want me little one to go through the favorite child thing. Now I am no saying that all families participate in this "ritual" but being that I come from an super off the boat*and yes I can say this* Italian family it should not shock anyone that my brother was the favorite and I was and will always be the black sheep. Now this was not a huge problem between my dad and I but when it came to my mother my brother could do no wrong and even though I placed my life on hold for almost a year to help my dad take care of her when she was diagnosed with cancer I felt that I would never live up to how she saw my brother through her eyes. It was not my brothers fault he just happened to be born...male........ in an Italian family.

It was apparent to anyone who came around that my brother was king and I was not just being paranoid. Anything I did was never good enough. I always took care of myself when it came to looking for work and getting my resume ready for the field I one day dreamed of working in.  I got a part time job when I was 14 at the local mall to save money for a car and other fun stuff teenagers like to spend their pocket money on. I was never a huge school person I had too much energy to sit for an hour on math*I hate math and still do* and history my mind was of the creative sort I did well in art, design, and literature. I was not a sports person just was not my bag of beans I thrived in my merchandising and production classes.  I tried my very best to win my mothers approval but no matter how hard I tried I never got the pat pat on the back my brother would get on a daily basis. Some parents out there might think that something like this will not affect in years to come but it remains with you forever ...and today it still hurts. I remember when my mom used to tell me not to drink wine because it made you fat she did that because she knew that would sting always one for being paranoid of my weight this one hurt...I even went through a bout with eating issues a few years back because I felt that never was the image of what my mom wanted me to be.  To this day even with the working out, being healthy and going  I drink a glass of wine my moms voice goes through my head. My brother drank in front of her all the time and she never said one word to him. I can go on with the many double standards that used to go on in my home when it came to my brother but we would be here forever. Any other person out there who has gone through this knows exactly what I am talking about.

Maybe that is why during my high school years I decided f*ck it. I would become the black sheep that I was made to feel in my home. Follow the rules...Pfft you could take your rules and suck it. I made it a point to piss off my mom as much as I could. I got myself in allot of trouble, did not listen, the pop music became death metal, all about vampires to the max, the skirts went buh buy and scummy looking long haired dudes were my new passion....it was the 80's after all.  I wore black 24/7*that hasn't changed much* and just did not care anymore because no matter what I did I would never meet the "approval". To an old school Italian mom like mine this was the worst.  I guess this all vomited today because I am feeling overly sensitive about a few things and damn PMS does not help any, but in big part is that I saw this happening in front of me at a play ground the other day. You could totally see that the mother was favoring one of her kids more than the other you could see by her actions and by the way she spoke to them and I felt for the little one..... I really did because I know how it feels. I would have loved to look at that mom and say STOP..... don't....... because what you do/say to a child today could affect them for most of their lives.  I wish I could have told my mom how I felt before she past but things were so crazy during that time it would have been trivial ...I hope she knows that I was there for her when she needed my help and caring for her during such a painful time was an honor.

I just want her to know that her baby girl was not that tough and sometimes she just wanted to hear that you loved and were proud of  her......sniff....

The Raisin Ranch......

Hello all out in bloggy land I feel like I have not posted forever it has been 5 days since my last post and I have only gotten this little bit of time early this Monday morning to get shit down before I am headed right back out the door. To say that this time of  the year overwhelms me is an understatement it is f*cking bananas it some ways I do love it because I am an OCD planner and love to entertain but their are some days that all I want to say is f*ck it.  Because some other members of my family are quite not as organized I get shit for being a little too much......Oh well.   However based on my experience you can never be too organized when it comes to planning shit out it always works out better in the long run. I have been MIA for the last few days because we have been running around. My dad has is hip surgery on Thursday and this weekend was all about hospitals and moving him into a rehab center. Because lovely insurance companies suck dick and some of them are having raisin farm turned into 1/2 rehab center...So basically they are getting paid for two types of treatments...Shady Shady......Any how we dropped him of Sunday and I was  shocked I mean shocked at this location. I am not being mean here but their were about 10 really really bad looking i mean they almost looked dead on wheelchairs just sitting there drooling I know this is life but I felt like I was in the twilight zone. This is a hard place for my dad to be in.   My dad is 71 and an interdependent and go get em kind of dad this place is not for him. When I walked in I turned to my husband and told him to throw me down a flight of stairs before putting me in a place like that.  My dad made it through one night he called this morning and told us to get him the f*ck outta there. My bro is now heading over there to get him home therapist said he is doing well enough that he can do the therapy at home in his own bed and home.

So to say the least it has been a pretty crazy weekend. With Thanksgiving prep, clean up and having my lovely awesome MIL in town it is is going to be a crazy week and half. My schedule is super packed even more packed than usual and I am having a hard time keeping up....OM Gawd this post was supposed to be done by 6:30 am based that I am posting at 2:36 PST shows you what kind of day it has been so far....Peace

The 3 hour...

window. As I was getting ready yesterday morning to leave my casa I was thinking.......Wow I a pretty impressed with MB today and getting showered, made up and dressed  in 45 minutes flat. It got me thinking to the days when it would take me two plus hours to get ready for work and the ol mighty 3 hour window to get ready to go out and party. What could I have possibly been going to get ready take that damn long to get ready to go out? I mean half the time we were hanging out in dive bars and dark clubs. What the hell? What was this ritual that had me take so long to get ready to go out? I guess now instead of being in front of customers selling/doing my fashion thing and socializing my balls off I am running around after a toddler and a bunch of dogs. Oh...let's not get it twisted even though I live in lululemon pants and work out gear my shit is still tight. I make sure that my work out apparel is all matched bag and all.  I used to be a sweats/Metallica t shirt kind of gal when hitting the gym  but when I finally lost all of the baby weight and then some I decided since I am working out 4-5 days a week I needed to step it up a notch. So off to lululemon I went. I must say I felt better about what I looked like when I stepped in the gym and it gave my self confidence a boost to keep busting ass....resulting in another 12 pound loss this month - working another 12 and then I will be good - Hubby is all about JLO booty so he wants to make sure it stays there...I just gave it a major lift with the elliptical mania I have been on lately. I really need to give my self a rest my wrists are beginning to feel the pain but damn my calves are looking good....

When my hubby first met me he was shocked at the amount of make up I spackled on my face....*Keep in mind these were the 90's all about Chanel Vamp make up and I was wayyyyy into vampires before this whole Twilight thing hit...blah* so I was doing my thing. Between the take off work make up, put on night make up and going through my wardrobe a million times it would be way over 2 hours and I would be ready to rock n roll. My hubby did not mind because at that time in our lives we lived above a night club and we knew all the bartenders/doormen and owners of establishments in the area so he would be downstairs drinking away while I was upstairs rubbing baby powder on my legs in order to get my tight ass leather pants up my body....Oh the good ol days. I am kind of glad that life as gotten allot less work/party hectic and allot more hang out and relax with some vino and a good set of friends way I am so glad my skin is getting the time to heal from the damage I caused it in the 90's and early 2000's. I guess I have just gotten a whole lot more comfortable with myself as a person and as a woman.

Hubby and I sit down and wonder how we made it through that burning the candles at both end time of our lives. One thing we always say and agree on is...Thank the Lord that FACEBOOK was not around during our party days.....Amen to that......

Ya bitch I work......

It might not go into an office job 9-5 kind of job yes I am a stay at home and no matter how may times people like to think we sit home and eat f*ckin bon bons and scratch our asses all day what we do is work because it never stops and I can never punch out and leave my shit at the office. I am tired of some working moms{and yes I know it is hard to be a working mom} thinking that we home bound mothers do nothing all day because we are "at home all day". Today I almost lost it when an annoying ass mother I didn't even know decided to give me her 2 cents at a random store that I can no longer remember because she irritated me so much. WHo the f*ck do you think you are lady? OK so your a working mom I get it - it's hard but can we get off OMG I am so much better than you mentality because I go to an office everyday and do the mommy thing.  It's not what she said that bothered me but how she said it. Oh yeah it went something like this  - "Of course you would have time to bake your a SAHM".  With this smug little attitude that you can only find in the area I live in this great city of mine.

We both work hard, we don't get a break it is a 24/7 sometimes thankless job and sometimes it sucks.  But it does not make me angry that some mothers think that just because we are at home we hang out all day  work out and drink wine during play dates.  Some people like to think it is easier to be home then going  to work and I have done both of the spectrum and let me tell you either way it is tough. I went through a big should I or should I not go back to work after GG was born. Keep in mind I was a worker bee had worked since the age of 14 and I loved it. After much con and pro I decided that since I was not going to have more than one child and the cost of daycare/nanny would not be worth my time/stress of work I decided to stay at home. Now let's keep in mind that when I had GG I was 40 so I had worked that whole time I had savings and a husband who takes care of me and GG in an awesome beautiful way...I am fortunate and count my blessings everyday. Excuse the babble maybe I was suffering from Halloween craziness but it bothered the shit out of me.

Instead of us mothers uniting together we tear each other apart and have turned it into a bad Godzilla movie mother vs. mother.

AUUUUUUGGGHHHHH

There I now feel better....Wusa

Happy Halloween

gang! It is beginning to be that time of year were I spend most of my time in the kitchen...I do that pretty much year around but I baked my balls off yesterday and did about 60 cupcakes. I was so done after the last one that I do not want to see cupcake batter for the next few months. After I decided to alter the cupcake a little and add less fudge frosting. I also could not find any damn white cotton candy for smoke so decided to add a little pretzel stick for the witches cauldron. They turned out pretty great my husband polished out about 3 of them and was ready for more. You see I do not taste my own baked goods.  With the amount of baking and cooking that I do I need to make sure that I have someone who is always willing to take one for the team and be my taste tester. I do not wan the extra calories so I have him do the hard job of testing all my goods. I know how long I need to sweat on the damn elliptical for just one bite of cupcake...Augh

I also put together about 24 of these little trick bags for my GG's class.... I am so glad that at least we can bring treats to her friends at school they will just go home with the little ones so the parents can decide to give it to them or not. I would hope that even the sugar nazis that live in my area would bend the rule for one night and have them enjoy this over the top sugary holiday. I am also super excited because in 22 days my awesome MIL is coming for a visit and is going to be here for the gobble gobble holiday. A first and we are super over the top happy she is coming.

Today is going to be a busy day....GG dress up day at school, parade, lunch then hopefully home for a nap and then off to a fire fighter BBQ and trick or treating with the little one......God I love this frigging day......
Everyone be safe and have a great day!

Oh YEah......

OK...OK...I have never been a huge sports fan...Mmmmm let me see I actually suck at watching and participating in sports activities believe you me I have tried{husband is a sports fanatic} but no offense to the sports loving peeps out there but it some of this shit bores the hell out of me. Now if shopping was a sports events I would be a champ but until Saks decides to sponsor a handbag shopping team I am SOL. Even with my lack of sports knowledge and passion I can still be damn proud when my home town baseball team the San Francisco Giants won their second series in 3 years. Woot...Woot...to the boys............

PS....I am also going to be cleaning a little house with my bloggy list...I feel that when we all take the time to visit other blogs, read and comment we should receive the same bloggy love back. In the last couple of months I noticed that some blogs don't even try anymore. So it is time for a little fall cleaning.

Do we ever know.......

who we decide to leave our  kids with? I state this this morning because while I was getting up this am I got a brief shot of a horrific news story out of NYC were a nanny "allegedly" stabbed to death a 2 and 6 year old that were left in her care and then tried to commit suicide. I cannot tell you how bad I feel this morning.  First their was painful sadness for this mother and the family....... next anger. I can tell you this if something like ever happened to me I would have nothing to lose and let's leave it at that. What makes a human and what goes through someone minds do something like this?   Not only did you gruesomely take the lives of two innocent angels but you have scarred that family forever. People like this should be punished by the full extent of the law, people like this should have no room on our earth.  Your were paying this person to look after your most precious gifts.  I can tell you this someone like this has had emotional issues in the past they just took awhile to surface because no matter how normal you may seem to be on the outside if a person has emotional issues it could take years to surface.  Do we ever truly know the people we allow in our lives? I am so numb this morning. After hearing this story I turned around and gave my husband a huge kiss and hug..... Because of how hard he works I am allowed to stay home with my child and take care of her myself. Before the bashing begins I KNOW that their are some families that do not have a choice but to have to go to work in order to support their families...I am just saying that I feel extremely lucky that at this point in our lives I can be the one raising my child and not some stranger. When your hiring nannies/babysitters and whomever is going to be around your children please be vigilant.   I might be super ass to the 100 power paranoid but that is the way it is going to be with me period.  We live in a world where you can no longer go by word of mouth when it comes to your kids.  Not only should you run a background check you should run a psychological background checks. Hire a reputable agency that run major FBI checks you cannot play Russian roulette with your families lives. This is a horrible crime and I cannot even begin to get myself ready this morning because all I wanna do is stay here and hug on my child.

After this story and some of the other stories/issues that have been floating around lately I am highly considering shutting down my blog. I believe the less people know now a days the better.

Rewind......

You know when you have one those mornings when you get and wish that you can just press the rewind button to have the day start all over again. I need one of those MoFo's already this am. I pretty much got little sleep last night - we had a pretty huge rain storm and the wind was out of control which means my little one was woken up by it and in our room wondering what the hell was going on. The dogs were restless, I was restless and it does not help that I am PMSing my balls off so I am a anxiety wreck anyway. I slept soundly from maybe 3-5 and that is not going to cut it for me.  I just don't function well on little sleep period.....The morning started great I mean GG got up and she is potty training like a champ so we were both really excited since this am she went in the toilet before she came downstairs for breakfast. Yep I was proud and because I see no wrong in bribing kids to do certain things I gave her her 2 quarters for her piggy bank like I promised  her last night before she went to bed{this is only for her am pee}.....So I go downstairs to get her breakfast ready and start on my own - I am frying up my egg whites/spinach my usual. I go to grab the toaster which I keep on top of the fridge and the asshole falls right on top of the fire extinguisher we keep in the kitchen in turn busting the damn seal on the thing and poof here comes the white powder. Now I have only seen these lovelies break on TV but let me tell you just a slight hit and it looked like Al Pacino's Scarface movie set in my kitchen.

I almost cried as I tried to clean all the shit up from the floor, counter, stove every friggn corner of the kitchen  Mind you I am trying to beat the clock in order to get me and GG out the door for school. I had to toss all the food I was making because of this white shit on it. Of course being totally paranoid I was scared that I would be growing an extra eye ball this morning as I drove my little one to school. What the hell is it Friday the 13th an no one told me about it.....How does shit like this happen to me on a daily basis?  I need to take my hubmans advice and sloe the f*ck down once in awhile. Everything got better once I worked my ass off.

I am looking forward to tonight.  I have some gals coming over for a girls night and a little bit of vino and food. Soooo looking forward to it. I need some chick time for sure......or I am going to be checking myself into the below.....

A little warning to future GG dates.......

Beware..........This awesome mini video was produced by one of my husband accounts. You see my husbands company produces cool fun shit that you can see in the dark with *think thermal and think being able to see something in pitch ass darkness* basically my husband is a defensive contractor and around some massive fire power at work. So in keeping with this whole end of the world zombie thing which is HUGE right now check out this friggin awesome clip.

Come on click right here for some bad assness

Ohhhhh and be sure never to bring her home late because mama knows how to shoot to.