Monday, December 17, 2012

Numb......

that is the state of feeling that I have been since Friday when I heard about the horror that occurred in Connecticut. When I heard the news I stopped the car and cried I cried like I have not cried in awhile just thinking of all those innocent children and the hero's that tried to save them. That day I went and picked up my child early and hugged her so hard...so hard that she asked me what was wrong. I could not tell her she is not even three and does not need to know or will understand what an evil place our planet can sometimes be.  In shock, scared, angry, confused......WHY...Why....I am sure this is the the only post that we will be reading about why this happened and would get make a human - no not a human a piece of sub garbage do something like this? Everyday I have asked myself that question. I will not go into detail about what a horrible monster this human who did this was because he does not deserve our time and I will not even mention his name because that alone brings so much anger in me I want to burst. I am only hoping that is their is a hell and that hell has a sub basement were people like him are made to suffer harshly  for the remainder of eternity.

I am scared and I do not scare easily. I have always been paranoid but now I am on super alert def com 5. I am going to my little ones preschool today to speak to the director to see what plans our campus has if something GOD forbid like this were to happen again. I hate to say this but this is one of the main reasons I did not want to bring a child into this world was because of some of the evil which shadows a black cloud over our planet. I have not slept much since Friday. Every time I look at GG I imagine the pain those parents will be going through for the rest of their lives. I imagine the children that had to witness something that an innocent child's eyes should never witness. We can play the blame game....but we will never know exactly what snapped in this humans brain that made him do such a horrific thing. We need to start digging deeper and fixing the problem not just masking it with a band aid.  I have turned off the news I can no longer watch.

Let's keep these little angels in our hearts and remember the courage of the hero's who risked their lives  protecting their students.
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4 comments:

Vanessa Scott said...

I have also been thinking long and hard for a very long time about everything in Newtown. I am just as angry as the next person, and I'm not saying what this man did was excusable. However, there seems to be a stigma around mental illness due to barbaric practices of late. Why do we not have real places for people who suffer from mental health problems? Why is there not better screening for those who are inflicted? Why, time and time again, are these people given pills for a bipolar disorder along with millions of other "normal" Americans? You can't see a mental illness. You have no idea the demons that people are fighting. You can't say that he was mentally retarded because that would somewhat entail that he didn't really know what he was doing. I am not going to presume what was on his mind, but why is that becuase we couldn't physically see something wrong we assume that he knew for absolute certain what he was doing? We deem him as more normal than abnormal. As a society we have failed those who suffer from mental illness in a sever way. There needs to be better screening in place. People need to talk about it more. There needs to be better support for families who have a loved one suffering from a mential illness. It should be treated as any other illness. You wouldn't go to a doctor with a broken leg and expect him to hand you a cast and tell you to fix it yourself. That's exactly how mental illness is treated. It's ok to be angry, but I don't think it's fair to just be angry at him and his actions. There were people around him who recognized the signs and did nothing to help.

December 17, 2012 at 7:24 AM
Not Winning Mom of the Year said...

It still gives me chills, and what aggrevates me the most is that people on the news are still saying there should be more guns, more armed people, armed security, trained people. WHAT? I live in Canada and guns are not allowed, we do not have school, movie, whatever shootings. We are not afraid. We do not fear each other no matter what mental state someone is in. When will America do something about this. 20 sets of parents have gifts under a tree for their child they will be laying to rest at Xmas. What more has to happen for the government, NRA, pro gun suppporters, whatever to learn. Take a look at countries who ban guns??? What else do you need to know??? Sorry for the rant.

December 17, 2012 at 5:38 PM
ana said...

Every time I read, think, hear about this I want to break down and cry. I can't imagine what these parents are going through. I can't even try. I see pictures of their little angel faces and don't understand how someone could ever do something so horrific...how their lives were just taken away, how the innocence of the others are now gone. I think of the adults who risked their lives for these little angels. Everyone wants to blame somethingor someone... Guns, upbringing, mental illness, society... All pieces to this puzzle that will never be put back together

December 17, 2012 at 10:09 PM
Mommy Bags said...

Great point, however at this point to me this person is a monster and yes I am angry at him sorry but that is the way I feel and no one will change my mind on that. Does that make me an awful person...maybe but right now I am not happy. This is going on too many times. His mother knew he had a mental illness she told neighbors/friends never to turn their back on her son that means she knew that he was not ok and dangerous. What was done about it? Based on what information has been leaked and what has been reported not much. Was she ashamed, did she feel that her community would look down upon her maybe so that we will never know. All I know is if you know your son is not OK why the hell would you have military style assault weapons in your home? Just like everyone else out there I am trying to figure out what makes a person snap. This person was obviously not OK and close people around him including his mother knew he was not OK. She paid with her life as well as 26 innocent people - 20 of them children. I sit here waiting to bring my child to school and my anxiety is so high that I want to vomit. I am not OK with this and will not be OK for awhile. So if hating is what I need to do for a bit that is what I am going to do....We are all emotional and we are here to share our feelings if we agree with them or not. Peace

December 18, 2012 at 6:19 AM

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