Ho Ho Ho......

Wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. I got maybe a total of 4 hours sleep and lets just say I am an UBer bitch when I do not get my 8-9 hours. My daughter has come down with a nice cold which has made her super needy making it impossible to finish off what I need to get done.  I know that has soon as she is done with it my ass will come down from it - so far I have been able to avoid any sickies.....My hubby had a major night of insomnia last night so let's just say it was a restless evening.  I have about 7 hours of baking to do and I am about to lose my ever fU*cken mind because I am a little d.on.e.   I asked my hubby to put together GG's bike from Santa and it still not done. He is going to have to do it this afternoon under the watchful gift radar of my daughter who these year has realized what Xmas is all about - want, want want, me me,me, toy, toy, toy - commercialism at his best.

I am going to try and get it together...it is now 7:31 am and I have been up since 4:00 am. Let's see if I can get this shit done.....Happy Holidays!

Buuuuurpppp.......

Hello Gang,
Well I started to write a post for Thanksgiving and find myself almost a month later and still no post. YEs....... I SUCK but we have been slammed. This new home thing has kept us busy and between our huge Thanksgiving PARTty and getting our asses ready for commercial xmas -  I feel like it has been forever since I had the time to sit down and get a post going it has been that overwhelming this year. New house, new school for my GG, new neighborhood and learning a whole new area has made it almost impossible to take a free moment ans say what is up to my fellow blogging peeps.I just have not had the time to devote to the blog like I used to. Is it becasue my GG is getting bigger and we have activities coming out of our butts. Maybe it is becasue I really do not have anything to say anymore or my mind is so empty after chasing down a toddler most days that I cannot rub together two brain cells to make a thought. Who knows all I know is that I am getting ready to rumble again. I did not realize how much this blog helped me throughout the hard times and good. GG is growing up before my very eyes she is going to be celebrating her 4th birthday but I feel sometimes I am dealing with a 25 year old with a NEW York attitude (which I love) she is sassy and has a smart mouth. Just give her a cigarette, coffee and a cell phone and she is me 20 years ago...Scary.......

I am getting used to my groove here in SuburbiaLand and I hate to say this but I am kind of beginning to dig it. Our home is actually centrally located to a very vibrant downtown area with allot of great places to shop/eat and hang out. So it is actually not as bad as I thought.  I like being able to walk around a neighborhood were most of the houses are lit up for Xmas and we went all out this year since we had no PITA HOA to deal with. The dogs are loving the backyard and having a space were they can soak up the sun without the worry of coyotes...... I have gotten back into my gym grove - FINAlly but will be wanting to get back into the boxing that I was doing before I left it kicked my ass every time but damn did it make me feel so good. We joined a social club so I would have access to do more volunteer work and to also have a way of getting to know the neighborhood more. I did my usual Xmas card writing to the soldiers, we did a food drive the preschool and this year I adopted a senior to help her out with some presents and groceries.

Overall everything has been pretty good and moving along and it has been super great to be so close to family. I am hoping to hop back int this blogging thing once again I have allot of weird stories and allot attitude to spread.

Peace and Love

Sugar Babies.......What a crock

This lovely piece of humanity has claimed to be a sugar baby  - what an example right ?

of shit!  So this am while I was busting my ass on the elliptical and sweating onto an article that I stumbled upon in this months Cosmo... I should just be slapped in the face for buying Cosmo at my age. Anyways so I am huffing away getting my cardio on when poof here is an article about Sugar Babies. Now as woman I think - hey you have come along way baby...then you see an article like this and your like WTF is this shit?!?   Now this is not the first time I have heard of the term Sugar Babies...it has been around for a bit and it seems to be tossed around quite a bit by some youngsters. No matter how you toss it around "companionship" "hanging out" "kicking it" sometime down the line you will be asked to give up your goodies....and no matter how many friggin times you have watched Pretty Woman the white knight usually will not come riding in to save you in his big white limo. I just think in today's society where young girls are continuously being bombarded with images of sex and nakedness and super fools like Miley Cyrus we don't need another thing to direct gals to the easy allure of the ol mighty dollar. What happened to hey I want to bust my ass to become a engineer , vet, lawyer?   I am hearing a whole lot more of I want to show and sell my ass to make a quick dollar. In a way I cannot blame some of these girls on wanting to do this - I mean sex sells right check out the lovely KIM K and he ever expanding empire that came to be with a sex tape - what we fail to look at is that KimK already had a name for herself as a " society girl"  and most of these girls don't have a barracuda mother who is willing o sell out her entire family for he ol mighty dollar....Mmmmm maybe I could be wrong? In today's society nothing would shock me>

It seems to me that some people just do not want to work hard in order to get to their goal. Of course it is allot easier to hang out with an older gentleman and get paid for it. It is easy when your young and dumb to make these type of mistakes - hey the cost of education is going up everyday I get it, but we are now living in a different world a world of 24 hours a day 7 days a week of social media and internet bombardment. These things and pictures/tapes will never go away they will always be there. One day when you have kids or the dream job your employer they will be able to look up all the embarrassing shit your doing today and it will be embarrassing.....How do you explain to your daughter/son that mommy was a paid "date" for older fella's?  I am so sorry ladies no matter how you slice and dice it an give it a pretty name to make it sound innocent you are still and the end of the day you are paid to make someone feel good - and yes sex will be requested because these older "gentlemen" are not in it just for the looks of it. They will eventually want some of the pudding.

I feel with trying to raise a daughter is is becoming more difficult with these type of images being displayed all over. I will be trying my stalker best to shield my daughter from this type of crap but it is getting easier and easier and easier to get to. All I know is that I have my guard up

Happy Halloween......

I will e getting back to the old fashioned blogging as soon as I pull my head out of my ass...It has been a pretty hectic 2 plus months and I think we are finally seeing the dust settle....

When did we lose.....the

children and have them replaced with pseudo hookers/porn stars? I am sorry to make it sound so harsh people but damn WTF has happened to some of these upcoming generation of little girls? I am besides myself with shock and let me tell you folks it takes ALLOT to shock me. I am scared that I am trying to raise a girl in this society right now and all I want to do is pull a Rapunzel and place her ass up in the tower so no one can get to her.  This all came up with a conversation I was having with my brother where he said their was an article in GQ where{some} tween/teen age girls are aspiring to be porn stars when they grow up......WTF come again bro? But again nothing shocks me anymore especially since we have "women" like Kim DaBigButt and ParisSkank that skyrocketed to fame after an "accidental" release of a sex tape. How the hell do you respect a person who had some dude pee on them then film it....And what makes it worse is a mother who drafted the whole deal. I feel sad for this new generation of girls growing up with social media shoved down their throats and around their ass. I know that I as a parent - I am frightened- I know that I as a parent will probably lose all self control when it comes to protecting my daughter. We are living in an age where for some reason little girls swinging on polls is considered "cute to some people and where girls have no shame when it comes to flashing their boobs and other parts of their anatomy via social media for acceptance. I mean their is no shame in having a sex tape in this crazy time we are living. But I guess it must look all great when someone who does make a sex tape...gets a reality show...makes tons of money....marries an athlete for 72 hours then get knocked up and is going out with a super annoying narcissistic rap douche and  all is ok in the world.

I hope things change around but I don't see it happening anytime soon -I know that I am on my daughters butt about many things and I have already started talking to my daughter about certain sensitive subject matters it might seem a little early but in this day and age it doesn't seem soon enough.  and she is only going to be 4. It will keep myself from losing my mind and punching someone in the face in the near future.....

Holy Shit.............Casa Crazy Part Deux

the move from HEll if finally done. We have moved and we are finally in our new awesome casa. The place is pretty ridiculous just in how much more space we have - now it is only 2,000 square living space which for other parts of the country is not much but for us here that is like a mansion. We also have a great backyard for the pups and GG has her own friggin club/play house in the back so it gives us all a little more breathing space. I also have a front area that we just cleaned up and in the process of looking at idea for landscaping. We are thinking of going low maintenance becasue we try and conserve water in this state and because we have quite a few tree in the front if we add grass all that is going  to do is die in patches. Ideas so far for the front......I am also going to buy a couple of anorak chairs in a fun bright color to place in the front - we have a really nice neighborhood so it would be fun just to set up and hang out in the front - we also are right next to a all male HS the same HS many NFL football players have graduated from - I guess Tom Brady went to this HS so many of my cougar friends are ready to check out the sights...lol.....I am also landscaping the back and we are probably going to do the same thing front to back but I will be adding a major fire pit and a huge sectional of couches, 8 seat dining area and my large Buddha fountain for days were I need him to help me out - the weather in these parts is pretty amazing  so having an outdoor entertaining area is key...

Among of the craziness GG started her new preschool because we moved in such a weird period of time just before school starting I had to take what I could.  Lucky we found a great Montessori right around the corner. I could only get her in twice a week for now hopefully another space will open up and she can go up to 3 days a week...She loves her new school the only thing we have had a problem with is that this little fashionista is not digging the uniforms. I am not a big fan either but you know what it saves some time in the am when little ms thing is going through her choices of what to wear I am down. We are now in October so it is time to start breaking out the Halloween decorations. This is my favorite time and our little one is also ready to party evil like. Social schedule is packed every weekend this month is booked and we are having fun getting to know our new hood and some neighborhood folks. All in the all so far everything is been A OK except I am missing my blogging friends......More to come.......I AM SURE!

Can someone please.....

Yep that is right this is my house bitches 

help and send over a de stresser? ....I know this is not a word but it is in my lovely messed up head as of late.  I love blogging because it gives me the opportunity to get stuff off my chest/brain and it does make me feel better - I use this blog to bitch about whatever might be bothering me that day for this helps me with my anxiety. I have had anxiety for the last few years it got especially bad after my mom passed as you all know. I have always been an up charged person so when I have allot of stuff going on the anxiety seems to pop up more often. In the last two years with the help of working out, acupuncture, vitamins, cut  in alcohol, eating right and no more smoking I have pretty much taken care of the A monster. I refuse to take half a Xanax unless it is truly necessary...you know shaking in the corner as I suck my thumb necessary  - j/k.....lol......With that being said the last month has been insane and with the buying of a new home as a game of Gladiator bitch slap, I am now it the full thrust of packing a house. Now GG goes to preschool part time however the other part she is taking the shit out of the box as I am trying to place shit in the box. Oh boy oh boy she thinks this is a fun game and mommy is ready to pull her remaining hair out of her skull.  Oh did I fail to mention that we added to the mix some re modeling on the new house which is 45 minutes away and having to do this via camera phone has been extra special????? Thank God that my dad is near by and he also has the best contractor on the world on his books so we know shit is getting done. Tomorrow I will be at the new house and getting a bunch of high tech stuff installed as well as watching some dudes strip and repaint our hardwood floors. Landscaper will be there as well as the painters to get some more fashion forward colors on the walls....So I will be one busy lady.....In the mean time I am expected to keep my current home in tip top shape for viewings for people that have no clue what the f*ck they are looking for...well let's just say this little philly snapped yesterday because I have had enough. I called my realtor and told him to pull the house from viewings until we move next week. I have one more viewing today and then I will be done having people going through my home while I try and tame and get  2 large dogs and a toddler out the door.  To anyone out there if you are considering selling your home WAIT until your ass is out of there and not living in it....It is hell when you have people in your house while you are trying to live yours. Do not put yourself through the stress. NOT WORTH IT. The good part is that we had two offers one was even before the house hit the open market which we refused becasue we had not had an open house yet and another one the other day that was a little below asking however we will not accept that...I believe the gentlemen was at his cap so unfortunately we had to say no...If this place does not turn over in the next 30 days I will be renting it out...I already have two prospects who will give me full asking rent so we are good.

I am also a little sad because I am finalizing a bunch of contacts here in the Marin County. I saw our dog groomers yesterday and they cried when I told them that this was their final grooming here. They got some super extra attention and were given many treats and kisses. Had to say our good bye to our awesome pediatrician and my dentist. We also have to make our rounds at our favorite restaurants/grocery/clothing establishments.   GG's final day of her current preschool will be Friday we will be having a little cup cake party for her there as well as a super extra play date with her BFF.

I am ready for this move because change is always good but I am sure going to miss the views and being so close to the ocean. I will miss this awesome group of people that I have met and will remain friends with but it is also great to get away from some of the not so genuine people that I have met along the way......oh well

c'est la vie

We will NEVER forget................

15 things you just don't really need to know but I am....

going to tell you anyways.....So as you can see I have been a  really shitty blogger for the last few weeks OK months. I have been shopping for a new home which we have finally found and closed on...Motherf*ckin YAH as well as putting ours on the market which means everything has got to look spic and span at all times and with a toddler and two dogs it is like pulling wisdom teeth.....It was like some kind of NASCAR torture to go through this buying process...you know I keep hearing recession here and recession there and I really do not know what the the f*ck happened in the last few months but we could not find a house to save our lives...With my keen investigative resources and talent I was able to locate a property and with the proper amount of stalking was able to wiggle myself in before the home hit the open house market again. Made an offer they could not resist and the rest is house hunter history. I am telling you I missed my calling - private investigating is the the route. So i WAS crushing around reading some of my fav bloggers and came upon this post from Ronni at Anywhere is - check her out here http://anywhere-is.net/2013/09/03/30-week-blog-challenge-week-1-fifteen-facts/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=30-week-blog-challenge-week-1-fifteen-facts and decided to try this little fifteen facts about me since I have been so behind in the times. So here goes nothing

• No picture will ever be posted of me on this sight - just not going to happen so I have replaced my pic with this - Yah one can dream right?
  

• I love all late early 80's late 90's super models - I think the models today look like little boys with long hair...If I was a man I would want a woman to look like a woman - most men tend to agree with me. 
• Could move to Napa Valley tomorrow and open a vineyard - I love it in wine country this is the only place on earth were I automatically relax as soon as I cross the area line 
• OBSEssed with hand bags - especially Chanel, Gucci and Celine......I think I might have a slight problem...maybe just a little 
• I despise liars and people who make people believe they are something they are not....Be real.....
• I love to travel {if done right} and have seen quite a bit of the world 
• Used to have a huge chip and diet snapple problem and kicked both of them in the last year 
• I used to worry about what people thought of me - allot - I now do not GIVE a shit ......
• LOVE fall - however it is Cali. fall so it is bearable - cannot stand the too hot heat anything over 75 degrees is too much 
• I love black and leather - I wear very little color and like to look mono chic - too many accessories clutter and outfit
• I do volunteer work for the soldiers and will be doing more this year for them as well as hospice - it took me while to make a decision to help out in this area since I lost my mother to the awful disease
• I hate the color pink 
• I don't craft and will never craft
• I love love love to cook, bake and entertain I am damn good at it 
• Addicted to gossip magazines yes yes I am 
• I am a nice person until you F8CK with me then your are done......

I am....

ED the FUCK out.........................THE END

Why open houses...........

SUCK.......I am not an uber crazy when it comes to manners - yes I expect my daughter to say GBY after a sneeze and to say may, please and thank you all of the time but hey we have all been caught up in a burp and fart once in awhile but when it comes to opening your home to strangers some of the things that I have seen done are enough to drive me bat shit CRAZY......Remember people you are coming into someones home MY home a home we still live in this is not an empty house that is staged -  it is a home that I cook meals in, work and do the family thing in.  So show it some respect!

• Wipe your feet I am not asking you to remove your shoes but please have some consideration when you see you have some grime on your shoes

• I understand that sometimes you need to use the restroom during the long looky look at houses day - I have placed a sign that you may use the guestroom downstairs not the one in my personal master bedroom - and please flush nothing is more unappealing than finding stranger urine in your toilet ball - jerks

• You may look inside the closet just please do not touch my shit - I had to place note in closet so people will not do this 
• Don't bring your dogs to open house - what the f*ck are you thinking? I LOVE DOGS - however my dogs are territorial and my dogs have never had fleas I spend allot of money to make sure they don't get fleas -  I do not need your dog coming into my house with them - and HELLO little rat dogs have a tendency to piss and shit wherever so please keep your dogs at home

• CONTROL your kids if you bring to the open home- When we were touring ours I left my daughter with my brother. I understand some families do not have families accessible and if have to bring them please watch them. If I catch a kid jumping on my bed with shoes on I will be pissed! Why do I say this becasue I have seen it with my own very eyes. I have seen parents playing on peoples bed with their kids...really WTF OH AND by the way last time I checked this is not a friggin playground!

• I am selling my home NOT what is inside my drawers keep your nosy asses out of our SHIT! Also do not TOUCH my daughters toys she has gone through many changes in the last few weeks and has gotten very OCD about her toys please have your devil children keep their hoofs off.....
• I know that your are doing the open home tour but damn people could you possibly try and just put yourselves together - I am not asking you show up like this but those DAMN pajama pants come one people wtf take some price in what you look like. Nothing turns me off then a person who just is that lazy 

Remember yes I am selling my home however until you start making the mortgage payments it is our home {or banks if you want to be all technical and shit}.  

Let the chaos.....

Love my hubman but last night this almost happened to him.....

begin......so as you all know we found a house - but me being me until I receive those keys I won't believe it however in the mean time I need to start doing some work to get shit on our house which is being sold moving.  We will be doing a brokers open this week which means my whole life is now controlled by a bunch of real estate people. I keep my home super neat however with 2 dogs and a toddler trying to keep a house in tip top house hunter viewing shape is going to be one big pain in the ass. Moving sucks  - we all know this some of the biggest stress beside child birth and marriage and at this point I would do either again just to get out of moving. When you are a type A OCD person too much chaos floods the mind and makes you insane.   Add that I am a pmsing bitch right now and all I want to do is sit in the corner and cry. Why oh why are we some women ruled by such hormones and emotions every friggin time of the month????? This whole weekend we spent time fixing little things on our house and making sure that everything was working - I also has to take a trip to Home Depot which is one of the places I hate to shop. Have you noticed that their is never anyone around to help you out. You'd think with the fucked up confused look on my face someone who put me out of my misery...lol

Today I have a team of ladies helping me uber spring clean the place I am talking bleaching down the baseboards ala Gypsy Sister kind of way. Steam cleaning of couches and stair carpets -  add a construction worker on the back deck patching some holes and I am ready to blow.

I fucking hate Mondays

Their is no place.....

This is for April - May/June/July add 200,000 to listing price in
certain areas - then proceed to add another 166,000 or so for over bidding on the
list price - OH yah and did I fail to mention that most of these a**holes make cash offers? Did
I also mention that some of these house are literally dumps and need a shitload of updating even before you move in?  

like....Holy shit we actually found a house and WTF I will never be able to shop for a handbag EVa again......We are currently in escrow and praying to the casa gods that the appraisal  comes through in our favor. This house has already fallen through escrow with a previous buyer becasue some nut job at the bank decided to use and out of state friggin appraiser....  Mmmmm...... HELLO anyone out of the of Northern California area or perhaps Manhattan does not understand how much over asking some of these dump houses are going for. In some cases we were in bidding wars with folks who in some cases over bid by 200,000 thousand dollars and we are talking about 1,500 square feet people...not 4,000....1,500 square motherf*ckin feet. I am emotionally, physically and mentally spent. Hubby and I have bickered more in the last 2 months than we have in our whole 14 plus years together. Home buying is stressful enough you add the volatile market we are in and you might as well hook and IV of wine to my arm. So now we are playing the waiting game, financing is good now it is all up to the appraiser.

I have started getting stuff ready for the move getting rid of stuff we no longer need. I have an awful lot of planting and reorganizing to do. I have a photographer coming this week to take pics of the old home front then we have a brokers open sometime next week. Then a couple of open houses.  So I have been running around like a bat out of hell. I have had GG home for the last week because her classroom had a lice victim, as soon as I found out about that I pulled her ass out of class for 7 days. YES extreme but all I needed to add to this crazy mix was lice and I would have jumped off the cliff.  I guess lice is common in school I however am a little OCD and having something like that around me would freak me out. I mean my dogs have never even had fleas! I guess all the preventative work I have been doing for the last 2 months has worked. I ordered preventive shampoo and tea tree oil as soon as I heard the word lice a few months ago from one of the teachers.   I am itching just blogging about this right now. NEXT

They also say when it rains it pours. GG has been super busy with go sees for her modeling she has another one today { a big one} so keep fingers crossed. Believe it or not she really enjoys it and I told her when she no longer wants to do it we can stop. But so far the little fashionista as she has been nicknamed at preschool is loving it and all she is going to make will be headed to her college fund....except for a few bucks that I promised her for her favorite place the dollar store//!?! It is exciting closing a chapter and starting a whole brand new one - I am ready for the change....Marin county was a great pit stop met some really great and fantastic people  and some I just soon enough forget.

Watched out for some future fantastic posts on the HELL which is moving {hopefully}

Cheers

The Melting Wives.....

of Orange County.... So last night I was sitting by my TV as I do every Monday night to watch the train wreck that is RHOOC. And I am watching in horror as I do every friggin week and I am shocked at the amount of plastic surgery that has hit these gals in the last few years.  It is shocking  - I mean Gretchen's  face no longer moves and her lips - what in the holy hell has happened to her lips? Her face did not move last night?  She used to be one of the better looking ones in this crowd of hyenas but lately she looks like she is going to melt!

I mean Vicky looks like some kind of weird science project gone wrong- hello isn't plastic surgery supposed to make you look better?

Now I love me some Heather I love the way she dresses and stands out form the usual tacky mess that is called the RHOOC "fashions" - Hello Gretchen you hearing us you are not a fashion do you are a fashion don't - fo reals. But I swear Heather's eyebrows are going to be in her back soon if she does not chill with the botox...When you meet resistance STOP

Alex is beginning to look more and more like a a total plastic mannequin what the fuck is going on with her face and do her kids recognize her anymore? 

Now I am not a huge fan of Tamara but she seems to be the only one that has gotten better she looks allot less trashy than she used to.....her boobs look fab and she seems to be the only one that actually works out for that awesome body. 

So far I am loving Ms. Lydia and it looks like she might be all natural.  I am really hoping that being on this show does not make her lose her mind and go down the cat path but I feel that she comes from a hippy pot smoking mom she might be a little bit more grounded.

Warning ladies if you don't stop with the cutting, plumping, botox and overall fucking around with your faces your future might look something like this......

God she will..........

never go away......Howdy gang....and Happy friggin Sunday......I do not know where the time is going. Monday comes up and then before I know it WHAM we are in the weekend. Many things going on everything is FaBu except for a few  minor snags that pop up unexpectedly that you need to figure out how to handle. I am sure I will let you know what they are and what will happen in the future.  Besides that it has been crazy as usual. Finally getting back into a major social whirl and catching up with some really old and great friends blast fro the past. We have also gotten to know a few other couples here in the hood and it has been awesome becasue my little GG now has a playmate her same age and the two are locked at the hips....As you all now we are home hunting and it has been a little crazy for the last few months however I have noticed that things have slowed down a bit - interest rates have gone up so I think people are not freaking out as usual...but I have said this once and I will say it again our market has always been a little more out of control than most. Today we have another round about 12 houses total to see one of them being a as is trust....which I am down for since it is in a great neighborhood. And if it is something that we decide we are going to place a bid on...it will be fun to use my creative juices to do a house to our specifications that or hire Jeff Lewis to come on over and do it for me...I wish!

So I need to bitch a little OK maybe more than a little. The other day I was at the grocery store and came to full eye level of this cover: After I almost vomited being the rag queen that I am I bought it. Now I have made more than clear on my blog that I am addicted to this shit. So as hard as I tried to resist my hand won the fight.

What strip clubs and

Toddler and Tiaras have in common. Yep that is the thought that popped in my over tired little brain last Thursday. I was so done that I decided to take a personal brain day off and just hang out at home  - no rushing anywhere, no chores {ok just a little} and just no looking at real estate not even on the damn computer. If you guys were house hunting in this area you would know why the brain needed a break...I was getting to the point that I want to stab people who even showed up at the open houses.  So what does a person do when they just want to mentally check out and not have to think??? Well we turn on TV and just zone out. But of course this day their wasn't shit on...I don't  know when  it happened or how..could be the sparkling bright ugly dresses, the Vaseline smiles or the big Texas hair...but I caught myself watching an episodes {yes plural} of Toddlers and Tiara's...I KNOW I KNOW.....Shame on me but I wanted mindless entertainment and HELLO I got it.....But as I sat there I just was kind of scary how similar certain things are: And believe me I have been to quite a few S.Clubs in my old partying my ass off days...this was before the whole it is cool to go to a strip club phase all the ladies are experiencing at the current moment. I was a trend setter and my mans friends loved me becasue I always got VIP passes for them.....

• The announcer has a cheesy way of introducing the music and the toddler/stripper sounds the same...I am sure that they all run in the same circles....and now joining us on stage we have CANNNDYYYY...or Brandi...or Angel or Star...you get the idea...no? I mean it is so the same I get freaked out every time I catch myself staring at the show like a bad train wreck. 
• Hair - Big, over processed platinum blond {but the mommies swear up and down it is her natural hair color} and hair extensions
• Garish caked on make up 
• The tackiest glittery dresses and the worst possible "talent stage" outfits- EVA"

YEP her lovely MOMMY actually thought this was OK....The worst part is mommy
thinks their was nothing wrong with this?

• HELLO massive spray tans - cheaply done equals you turning 18 shades of orange 
• Flippers - Fake Teeth - down the line will be changed to veneers once the dolla bills start rolling in!

• Pixie Sticks and Mountain Dew - will later probably turn into alcohol/drug problem n the future.

• Mommies that act more like stripper managers than actually loving and caring adults that are supposed to love you no matter what....Mmmmmm do we see some future self esteem issues developing????

• Top Ten Stripper Names’
• Destiny
• Candy
• Angel
• Cherry
• Raven
• Anastasia
• Roxy
• Houston
• Porsche
• Crystal

Also included in the mix: 

Fantasy
Starr
Sapphire
Sugar
Bambi
Bunny
Cinnamon

Add Brittnay, Brittanie and 101 one other ways to spell Brittey with all it sounding exactly the damn same. I have seen most of the above names on Toddler and Tiaras...

I am shocked that I did this more ashamed but I could not stop.....then they brought on the drag queen judges and I was done.....I told my husband never to leave my alone with the remote control again....I think I lost about 100 brain IQ points and I have been trying to get them back since this has happened - and I am not sure if I ever will. 

Happy Friday!

Mommy Bags...Is that you?

It has been awhile.....gang since my last post and for that I am truly sorry...I miss my blogging and I miss my gang of awesome friends I have made out there....sometime though life just gets in the way and as hard as you try to get all your shit done and as a truly organized freak that I am their has just been too much going on and I am finding it hard to keep up. Summer kicks the shit out of me every year but this year it's on overdrive add the daunting task of new home shopping and we have me spinning our wheels. Since we are looking at purchasing a home about 45 minutes away from were we live now it makes it hard to drive down there daily with GG's school/activity schedule during the week and packing in as many as we can see on Sunday. By the time we are done my head is spinning and I am pissed off a the world. Because we live in the area of the start ups are home prices are being banged back up again- AND that is going to be a whole other post of hell that I will put you through on another day. I just don't have the time nor the energy to deal with this shit today. So I am taking the "day off" tomorrow. Smart asses out are probably going your a SAHM why the f*ck do you need a day off. If I showed your asses what I do in a day you would rethink that whole damn statement.

I am going to take my time getting up in the am and actually enjoy my cup of tea. I want to catch up on reading some blogs and figuring out if the future is going to bright for continuing the blog. Or did my rain just TILT and I need to push refresh. Whatever the case might be I will let you know. All I know is my anxiety issues are allot less problematic when I blog......Love you all....Kisses

Bad blogger...bad....bad......

So as you can see from my lasts post I have been MIA for a bit....Not because I don't want to hang out but because it has been balls to the wall crazy and I really have not had the time to even sit down and come up with a clear thought.  I have yet to download most of the pics from our friggin vacation and  am still trying to organize a bunch to send out to MIL and my pops. I feel like I am spinning and just need to slow the F down.  Our social calender has been out of control and I can't remember when is the last time we had a "slug" weekend. Between my little GG's activities - dancing, karate and twice a week swimming and my now weekly boxing classes we have been a little out of sorts. Add birthday parties and major fairs, dinners and bbq's and we are toast. GG has also now gotten signed to a modeling agency....I really did not see this happening. I sent some random pics in to an agent as a recommendation from a few people, I really did not think it would amount to anything I really did not just because you know how many people send in photos of their kids!!!????  I then get a call 2 days later to have her come in to do a standard meet and greet photo shoot....Well thinking that my kid was not going to jive with the whole situation she turned on her charm and nailed both the photo shoot and the interview.  She was signed that day and she is now sent out to go see's so I feel like a glorified bus driver right now. We will see what the outcome with this is. I am like if she digs it fine but once it gets in the way of school and she does not want to do it anymore I am pulling the cord and we are out!  Add this to new home shopping and trying to prep a house for wither renting/selling and some volunteer work you now know why I have been totally ignoring my blogging duties. Today I am going to try and catch up on the reading my bloggy friends posts. I miss all of you guys and hope to get back on some sort of schedule very soon!!!!

Happy Friday!!!!!!

What toddlers will say.....

when they hear something that is not quite what they think they hear or understand. Here it goes this is what happened yesterday.

Pick up daughter from preschool - mind you my face is swollen and I am a drooling...a little afternoon power drinking NOPE....just had my major grand canyon back molar drilled for an hour to clean out decay from old silver filling{get those bitches removed if you an because when they crack they cause some damage}and fitted for a crown. Ouchy and I really do not like the dentist. ow this dentist is great but overall bad past experiences have made me crazy scared of dental work. I am getting through it little by little with the help of a little Xanax and a dentist that knows what they are doing. So anyf*ckenwhoo I get to the preschool and I am ready to pick up my little one and get the hell home...Couch is waiting for me for my mouth had some kind of weird contraption keeping it open for an hour and the TMJ jaw is a hurting.

I knew something was amiss when the teacher headed right into my direction and said that she needed to speak to me - OH SHIT this can't be good I said to myself what could my daughter have done that I am being brought to the teacher office....

The lovely Ms. Teacher explains the following.....
"Now I don't know if you use certain phrases at home in Italian that could mean something different in English...but GG said this today......She proceeds to explain
The 3 teachers and the 15 students were sitting around the table all quietly eating their lunches and they started to go around the table just talking and one of the little kiddos said

My moms nickname for me is boo boo bear says child 1
My mommy called me Care Bear says child 2

Silence falls around the table for a bit and my little GG says as loud as she can

Well my mama calls me a Bitch - and rolls her head with attitude

WTF are your serious????? I turn red red red and I am shocked for words....I cannot even fathom where the hell she came up with this....YES I am the first to own it and say that I need to clean my truck driver mouth it is bad and I am trying I really am but sometimes words just escape. But I would never ever say to my daughter that she was a bitch!  The teacher was totally cool with it she is like really this happens quite a bit their little minds just suck up a bunch of information during this time so just try to be careful. She was really trying not to crack up. I on the other hand am completely humiliated. I can just see the other teachers discussing me over the lunch break and saying to each other what a bad mother I am.

When I told my husband that evening he literally blew soup out of his nose he laughed so hard....I was like honey this is not funny. I feel like total shit about this. My husbands was like honey it is going to happen but you really need to curb your language he goes....I don't think you know how bad your mouth is you drop the bitch bomb all the time..... Agreed and he says let's try and not watch the Real Housewives with the baby in the room since they do drop the B bomb at all times! OK now....let's not get crazy......The RH keep me sane during some insane times with 2 large dogs and an active toddler in this house...but I will try.

As I sat in bed that night I want through how she put all of that together and BINGO it finally came to me.....A few weeks ago GG was just being over the top dramatic and super whining you know that whining that only toddler girls and reality stars can get to?

and I said to her
Girl stop being so bitchy...Yeah that is it!!!!!!!

So now that I know what I did I don't feel as bad but I still feel bad...I know my little one has not  idea what the words means but I have made a promise to myself to get better with anything I say around her because what they hear is not necessarily what they are going to say! My BAD.......

A place called a Vacation......Part I

I am BACK folks after 10 days of cruising and checking out Florida we are back and let's say - I need a friggin vacation from the vacation. Why is it every time you come back from what is supposed to be a restful and relaxing vacation you feel more tired than when you left? Besides trying to get my little one and my ass back on schedule the vacation was really kick ASS! We had a good time and I can tell you seeing GG's  face was worth me having to deal with a bunch of pink princesses. Getting to Florida was easy breezy....Can I say that first I LOVE VIRGIN Airline...always on time, always pleasant and they just rock. Non stop flight from SFO to Orlando  about 5 hours and  20 minutes.  I love that my baby traveled like a pro this time around. No crying, no fussing. She got her head set and watched about an hour of Dora on the plane awesome live direct TV and slept for the remainder of the flight. She was perfect on the way there and back. We got to Orlando picked up our SUV and started on the drive to St.Pete Beach to meet family and chillax at the amazing Don Cesar - {thank you honey for being a bigger hotel snob than me yep we are - we worked hard to get here and make no apologies for diggin luxury}.  Besides the amazing environment the history of the hotel is pretty awesome. This pic does not do it justice it was just breathtaking and just so damn relaxing. I could have stayed there all week.

Shot from my umbrella heaven

We saw dolphins and sting rays in the water. Just crystal clear blue water and white sand everywhere you turned. My SIL and her kids were in town so we all met up the next day at the pool and all we did was drink frothy drinks and swim in the pool. As you can see we got taken over by the bucket people....The tres amigos together for a couple of sun filled days....GG's cousins who love to be together.....And hello how cute is this man.....We also had the pleasure of my dad being there as well as my MIL. It was a big ol family reunion!

Now I tried to limit what I ate and drank during my 10 days of bliss but hell man this short rib over risotto to die for!  I could not resist...so damn good.....When I saw that sunset the first night total relaxation set in......I was in one of my happy places.

Ahhhhhhhhh Bliss

My loves 

 My daughter was so excited to have daddy for 10 days with my husbands busy work schedule it is sometimes hard for him just to relax. Even on vacation he was working but after the first 3 days he chilled out YAH!

The Gang

My daughter spent so much time in the water the first few days that she literally turned into a prune.....to get her out of the pool and the ocean was pure torture.......but you know what all that swimming and activity by 8:00 pm she looked like this.......SUCESS...time for mommy to catch up on some reading!

Little blurry mommy had some vino that night

Tomorrow I will fill you in on Part II of the vacation and our road to Disney!