Thursday, August 22, 2013

Why open houses...........



SUCK.......I am not an uber crazy when it comes to manners - yes I expect my daughter to say GBY after a sneeze and to say may, please and thank you all of the time but hey we have all been caught up in a burp and fart once in awhile but when it comes to opening your home to strangers some of the things that I have seen done are enough to drive me bat shit CRAZY......Remember people you are coming into someones home MY home a home we still live in this is not an empty house that is staged -  it is a home that I cook meals in, work and do the family thing in.  So show it some respect!


  • Wipe your feet I am not asking you to remove your shoes but please have some consideration when you see you have some grime on your shoes
  • I understand that sometimes you need to use the restroom during the long looky look at houses day - I have placed a sign that you may use the guestroom downstairs not the one in my personal master bedroom - and please flush nothing is more unappealing than finding stranger urine in your toilet ball - jerks
  • You may look inside the closet just please do not touch my shit - I had to place note in closet so people will not do this 
  • Don't bring your dogs to open house - what the f*ck are you thinking? I LOVE DOGS - however my dogs are territorial and my dogs have never had fleas I spend allot of money to make sure they don't get fleas -  I do not need your dog coming into my house with them - and HELLO little rat dogs have a tendency to piss and shit wherever so please keep your dogs at home
  • CONTROL your kids if you bring to the open home- When we were touring ours I left my daughter with my brother. I understand some families do not have families accessible and if have to bring them please watch them. If I catch a kid jumping on my bed with shoes on I will be pissed! Why do I say this becasue I have seen it with my own very eyes. I have seen parents playing on peoples bed with their kids...really WTF OH AND by the way last time I checked this is not a friggin playground!
  • I am selling my home NOT what is inside my drawers keep your nosy asses out of our SHIT! Also do not TOUCH my daughters toys she has gone through many changes in the last few weeks and has gotten very OCD about her toys please have your devil children keep their hoofs off.....
  • I know that your are doing the open home tour but damn people could you possibly try and just put yourselves together - I am not asking you show up like this but those DAMN pajama pants come one people wtf take some price in what you look like. Nothing turns me off then a person who just is that lazy 

Remember yes I am selling my home however until you start making the mortgage payments it is our home {or banks if you want to be all technical and shit}.  

5 comments:

joeh said...

I never saw most of what you talk about, but I am sure it happens.

Once had a person say very loudly in broken English to her agent as she left,

"This house horrible, horrible house!"

I called the agent who said he was mortified, and told him that if he brought any more of his low class asshole clients to show my home I would kick his ass from the rec room to the kitchen.

This horrible house sold three weeks later (in 1998) for $305,000.
$15,000 below the asking price.

Andrea said...

I do remember perfect strangers making us feel like lepers as they walked through our house, very late, as four of us hung out in the spare bedroom. No, I did not vacate with a 1 and 3 year old to accommodate last minute tours! Oh, I may never move again, as now I am shuddering at the memories you have stirred! ;)

Kerry said...

Ahhh don't get me started on this subject lol Our house is in the process of being sold too (we rent it) by the owners so we are having inspection after inspection...actually there is one going on right now!! We had 16 people come in one Saturday when there was only supposed to be a young couple and one other person. Well, the one other person brought their entire family who might I add did not speak English nor even acknowledge us in our home. I was practically pushed against the wall in order for them to barge past me and into my very own bedroom!!! I can't stand ignorance, I am with you on this subject. Don't touch anything, no the dishwasher does NOT come with the house and at least make eye contact with us and say hello!!!

Caffeinated OC Mommy said...

Oh dear... PLEASE put a lock on your lipstick drawer Darling! xoxo

Susan Fine said...

Wow. Just wow. Deep breaths love. I hope that this gets better. Did I mention wine??

Feeling the love......