Friday, July 19, 2013

What strip clubs and

Toddler and Tiaras have in common. Yep that is the thought that popped in my over tired little brain last Thursday. I was so done that I decided to take a personal brain day off and just hang out at home  - no rushing anywhere, no chores {ok just a little} and just no looking at real estate not even on the damn computer. If you guys were house hunting in this area you would know why the brain needed a break...I was getting to the point that I want to stab people who even showed up at the open houses.  So what does a person do when they just want to mentally check out and not have to think??? Well we turn on TV and just zone out. But of course this day their wasn't shit on...I don't  know when  it happened or how..could be the sparkling bright ugly dresses, the Vaseline smiles or the big Texas hair...but I caught myself watching an episodes {yes plural} of Toddlers and Tiara's...I KNOW I KNOW.....Shame on me but I wanted mindless entertainment and HELLO I got it.....But as I sat there I just was kind of scary how similar certain things are: And believe me I have been to quite a few S.Clubs in my old partying my ass off days...this was before the whole it is cool to go to a strip club phase all the ladies are experiencing at the current moment. I was a trend setter and my mans friends loved me becasue I always got VIP passes for them.....

  • The announcer has a cheesy way of introducing the music and the toddler/stripper sounds the same...I am sure that they all run in the same circles....and now joining us on stage we have CANNNDYYYY...or Brandi...or Angel or get the I mean it is so the same I get freaked out every time I catch myself staring at the show like a bad train wreck. 
  • Hair - Big, over processed platinum blond {but the mommies swear up and down it is her natural hair color} and hair extensions
  • Garish caked on make up 
  • The tackiest glittery dresses and the worst possible "talent stage" outfits- EVA"
YEP her lovely MOMMY actually thought this was OK....The worst part is mommy
thinks their was nothing wrong with this?

  • HELLO massive spray tans - cheaply done equals you turning 18 shades of orange 
  • Flippers - Fake Teeth - down the line will be changed to veneers once the dolla bills start rolling in!

  • Pixie Sticks and Mountain Dew - will later probably turn into alcohol/drug problem n the future.

  • Mommies that act more like stripper managers than actually loving and caring adults that are supposed to love you no matter what....Mmmmmm do we see some future self esteem issues developing????

  • Top Ten Stripper Names’
  • Destiny
  • Candy
  • Angel
  • Cherry
  • Raven
  • Anastasia
  • Roxy
  • Houston
  • Porsche
  • Crystal
Also included in the mix: 
Add Brittnay, Brittanie and 101 one other ways to spell Brittey with all it sounding exactly the damn same. I have seen most of the above names on Toddler and Tiaras...

I am shocked that I did this more ashamed but I could not stop.....then they brought on the drag queen judges and I was done.....I told my husband never to leave my alone with the remote control again....I think I lost about 100 brain IQ points and I have been trying to get them back since this has happened - and I am not sure if I ever will

Happy Friday!


Andrea said...

T&T is far too agitating to be mindless for me! My kids are addicted to that and Househunters somehow!

Mrs. Tuna said...

Make me feel like I need to get my sexy on, NOT. Maybe a flipper tooth will help.

Feeling the love......