Chinese Water Torture......

or traveling with a demon seed toddler. I would probably take the Chinese water torture.  I do not know why we as parents put ourselves through this hell but we do and let me tell you I don't give a crap what other people have said I have never seen a toddler travel well unless

1. they were medicated or
2. they were heavily medicated.

If you are the fortunate few that were handed the angel toddler of travel my hat's off to you but I have never experienced this known phenomenon. I have traveled with GG before,  her first trip was to Maui for her first birthday and then to Mexico a few months later.  She did fine but she was  "technically" still a baby and not full on mobile yet.I popped a bottle of milk in her mouth and we were asleep in 1/2 hr flat and stayed that way for the remainder of the flight.   My darling piece of sunshine is now a full fledged toddler and as much as I love her the biggest pain in the ass when she is stuck in one area for too long and has very little patience.  Of course I am worried about what she is going to do and what kind of mood she will be in. We are leaving pretty damn early so it should {maybe} work in our favor...I really hope the hell is does because I HATE to fly and will fully be medicated on Xanax.  I am not one for really giving a crap about what other people think but I do not want my toddler taking over the plane and bothering passengers.  I do not want to become "those people" because I remember that before I became a parent I did not want to be around kids/babies on a plane. I have started getting some small new toys ready for the trip like really inexpensive little knick knacks from the dollar store. I am going to have a fully loaded Ipad with new videos and games. Snacks and non sugary food and a bunch of other crap, but their is still the black cloud of the unknown that is lingering above my head. My husband is thinking that I am making it a bigger deal of it that it is but you know what it is hard for me to be positive we are after all traveling with a.......toddler. You know a f*ckin toddler. One minute they are as happy as can be then 2.5 seconds later BAM out comes evil toddler.  You are up shit creek w/o a paddle because their is NO were to run when you are stuck up in the air inside a metal tube with already very cranky passengers.  I am no means a softy when my kid needs a spanking they will get a spanking {light on the butt} but in this lovely world of ours if I choose to discipline my child  the way I see fit I get persecuted as a bad mommy. Let's keep it real here folks, time out does not friggin work in every situation. Some people think that time out is the magical key to fix it all well you know what IT IS NOT.  I have seen many mothers out and about with their kids trying to use the time out threat and when Billy is on level 20 of a temper tantrum that shit does not fly!

I mean let's face it kids have become very unpopular in the last few years because some parents just don't handle their business. From airlines banning kids in first class, actually turning around planes to restaurants not allowing them to dine in their establishments. Kids to some of our society members are no longer cute they have become a PITA and annoying. People are not empathetic in the least. Many folks are like then why are you taking her on a plane if it causes so much anxiety? 
Because we too have the right to travel and expose my child to different countries and people. My GG is also a flower girl in her first wedding. I paid for a full airline ticket just like everyone one else on basically what is a glorified BUS. We need to remember that kids are not perfect no matter how many times some mothers like to think that their kids have flowers blowing out of their butts. Traveling as adult sucks ass can you imagine traveling as a toddler?

This afternoon I purchased some baby benadryl.....yes I did OK I did DAMMIT don't judge me! I got it today because I need to test out to see if it works on her. I heard that it works like cocaine on some kids and that is the last thing I want it a wired toddler on this flight. It sucks but I have been all over the "mommy" boards and let me tell you I am not the only one who is bringing this up in the air for back up.I also will be full locked and loaded with extra cash just in case the little one is wired I am going to be buying some passengers rounds of happy juices = alcohol. If anyone has some awesome words of advice or full proof keep toddler busy on plane let me know.

Fingers crossed and wish us luck.