Wow.....weird.....

so yesterday morning I was randomly cruising the channels while I was trying to get some blogging done when I stumbled upon a program on Showtime called The Hollywood Complex. It was a look at an LA apartment complex that houses the families of aspiring child actors hoping to land roles in pilots for the upcoming TV series season. This documentary shows you the extent some parents will go through in order to make their kids famous.   I mean some of these mothers/fathers/families dropped everything in order to move to Hollywood to bus their children from one audition to another. It was so interesting to watch. It is amazing to me how so many of these parents are taken in by the bullshit wheel of these people that own the "talent" agencies. You have something, you have it you will be working in no time....wow just....I mean...people can you not smell the BS?  The photographers...let's not get started on some of those freaks. How is a parent who is supposedly responsible in watching out for their kids get themselves snowed in this way by some of these parasites in the industry.  In this I wanna be famous vicious circle it is unreal to me how some people can be so naive. Now let's not get it twisted here...I know that their are perfectly reputable agencies in La La land and I know families who have their little ones go out and do this because the kids want to do this and it is no big deal. I am just commenting on this particular documentary. The families they featured were just so wrapped up in trying to take the short cut to fame they do not see the money sucking leaches in front of them. I mean when all is said and done some of these parents are spending up to $6,000 dollars a month on all this shit. Some parents came in for just the pilot season and have been in LA for 3 or more years if you do the math that means a shit load of money going out and very little coming in. Most of the time daddy is sending money from back home in order to make their darlings happy.  How some of parents can afford it is beyond me. One mama actually had a rental car for 3 years you know what a boat load of money that is? Let me repeat myself 6 to 8 thousand dollars a month for pics, acting lessons, dance, speech and the list goes on and on. Just so overwhelming and expensive. It's like when you see these moms on Toddlers & Tiara's who spend thousands and thousands dollars a year on dresses, fees hair spray tans but they are having trouble paying their rent and living on bologna. 

One father actually had the nerve to tell his son

"Hey are you going to make me a rich man soon?"  Not kidding he was friggn dead on serious who the f*ck  says that to their kid at the age of 5?  I mean really?!! It' scary thought to me that some of these people do not realize that your one shot to make it is one in a million it's like winning the lottery. You either have "it" or you don't.   At what point do you say enough is enough pack up and go home? Why not take the money and sock it away for college. If your little one gets the acting bug why not enroll them in drama camp and some community theater? See if this is something they really really want. Without the passion for the craft real real passion what reason are they really doing this? What is this need for some parents to sometimes almost "whore" their children out for fame, money and sometimes notoriety? I mean Hollywood is known for using and spitting out wanna be stars as well as stars. Why would you put your kid through that meat grinder? I mean because really we have had some stellar examples in the last few years of stable child stars.....Yeah I am totally being sarcastic.....maybe I don't get it maybe is why I don't understand it?!?

Is the price of fame really worth it?

At what age did.....

you feel your hottest? I know weird right but it was a thought that popped in my head last night while I was checking out my new People magazine - *nothing like some intellectual reading to get me through this snot wielding cold that I brought back from NCA*. The issues is all about the top beautiful people...shocker right Hollywood and hot people...who would have thunka?!?  Anyways as I noticed most of the ladies and gents on the list were over 30 and some of them in their 50's and let me tell you aging has sure changed from when my mom was "growing" older. I mean some of these bitches look hot at 53 and 61 it is shocking and let's not get started on the over 40 list......sorry but they put some of ladies on that list put the 20's dames to shame!  So I began thinking at what age did I feel I looked my best. Now don't get me wrong peeps I have not let myself go yes I am not as deathly skinny as I used to be nor I want to be.  I am also not smoking 2 packs of cigs a day drinking vast amounts of alcohol and coffee and not partying until dawn. Believe you me when you do this for a bit while your young but it will sooner or later catch up to you. I feel healthier and more confident about myself today than I have ever have.  Maybe because as you get older you care but you don't care as much as when your in your 20's and early 30's. I take care of my skin and myself so much that when I take a break from it I feel it all over my body/face/being.  I do however still go through some doubting moments of myself.. but then I brush myself say f*ck it!  I am 42 and look pretty damn good,  good enough that for some odd reason little boys toys  in their late 20's feel the need to try and pick up on me...must be the whole cougar fascination as of late...Grrrrrrr. I am also a big believer that you have to work on your inside as well as your out.  Yes I might be bitchier but believe you me I have gotten allot nicer and more calming in my 40's. YES...I have...... I swear!

I  felt my hottest age was 35.  For some reason that was my "it" age......How about you?

*Note WTF Friday will return to it's regularly scheduled slot next week. With the traveling and the sick GG it has been kinda of hard coming up with shit...But I have some doozies from last weeks travels. 

Nightmare in Asheville......Part II

Crashed the f*ck out on the 6 am flight to O'hare 

As you know if you have read http://mommybags.blogspot.com/2012/04/why-does-shitpart-i.html you know that we had a very hard 7 days of travel. We attended a wedding in North Carolina and of course when you travel with a toddler you are placing bets that you might end up more exhausted than when you first left for the trip. The wedding was beautiful,  the bride gorgeous, the event super fun.  I however wish that we were able to enjoy ourselves a little bit more and could have spent more time hanging out with family. GG was so sick I ended up spending most of my mini vacation in the hotel room which kinda of sucks no matter how nice it was.  I am used to getting out of the house each and every day and by the 3rd day I could feel the walls closing in on me. GG sounded like death and she could not breath. The nights were even worse because she was sleeping with us in bed{a big NO NO for me} but the girl's wheezing and the cough was horrible she sounded like a 90 yr old 3 pack a day smoker. I felt for her. The rest of the trip was up an down one day she had energy the next day zero....She had not really eaten regularly for a week so she lost weight and seemed weak and not her usual peppy self. The air in Asheville was so full of pollen yu could not even walk and breath at the same time. The plane ride back was OK she lost her shit for about  10 minutes during take off because she was so tired - we had gotten up at 3:30 am to leave for the airport.  She finally settled down for the plane ride and slept for the whole flight on you guessed it....MOI.... because we did not want to wake her I was stuck in the same awful position for 4 hours and was made to watch We Bought a Zoo. It was not bad and made me cry like a little bitch for two hours......on a plane....... with other people looking and flight attendants wondering if I was on some  kind of crazy meds.

The loves of my life 

Sick as a dog but pulled through for her flower girl position 

Of course when you have a child that hacks, sneezes and drools sickness all over you for a week what happens your dumb ass gets sick. I got up this morning feeling and looking like crap. I need to bring GG to tumbling but by the way she looks like and I feel like this am it looks like we will have to just say home and get better. She is eating which is good I think she missed her food and my cooking. Eating out is fun but not 7 days a week 3 times a day - Bleh. We also do clean eating and if you don't have the choice to eat like that when your traveling stomachs go crazy. Oh if that was not enough I am dealing with a sick dog...you see dog number 2 is a very nervous, very high strung and scared doggie. She was after all a rescue. Any time I change her schedule and we are gone for extended period of time she gets weird. Her stomach goes nuts and it is diarrhea and throw up fun.  I have got to say this has been the worst travel we have ever experienced and I have been in the Amazon jungle and flown with full on food poisoning from Ipanema to Sao Paulo. Husband and I have agreed that for a bit we will be doing road trips until GG gets a little older. Napa wine country is only 45 minutes away and there is a bunch of crap do to near by to keep my little one busy for years. If I need tropical Mexico is hop skip and jump away. Today I have a butt load of laundry and I am going to spend the day with the dogs and myself and my child chillin and getting better.

All I can say is there is no place like home..

Golden Gate Bridge 

Nightmare in Asheville......Part I

My baby 3 hours before being rushed to emergency room
see what being around nature does to my kid

always happen when you are traveling why why why....You have this vision that it is going to be a fun  time except for the dreaded plane ride with a toddler and when the plane ride for the first 1/2 was torture you figured when you finally got to your destination that it would all get better. So WRONG so f*cking wrong it not even funny. The wedding in North Carolina has become the trip from hell. Besides the shitty ass airline travel {I hate hate you United}. From now on if Virgin Airline does not fly to the destination I will not be traveling anywhere. Take note United you want to know how a good, on time, clean, friendly customer service airline works go get some tips from Virgin they are the best.  Also no offense to the peeps in Chicago but your airport SUCKS I have been to it many times and when I heard we had to go through their to our final destination I wanted to stick forks up my nose. We finally got to North Carolina with one cranky, sick toddler and one super pissed off mommy. Once again traveling with toddlers SUCK donkey balls and I will not be doing another plane trip with her until she is 4 or 5. We will be doing road trips until she is old enough to "get" it.  I am not saying this because my child is super good because I am the first to tell you when my child is an a**hole but my child is a pretty good even mild mannered kid. All that shit went out the window when she stepped foot on the plane the first 1/2 hour was pure hell. It's like they know you cant really discipline them properly so they just lose their f*cking minds.

Our child had a slight cold when we left and I thought to myself and then vocalized to my husband that I had a feeling in my gut that this trip was not going to end well.....and what happened it did not end well. It ended with my daughter GG in the emergency room is some strange town in an unfamiliar state. Because my daughters cold escalated to full on viral infection she was so congested and full if crude that she could no breath her fever was through the roof because she felt so sick she was not drinking fluids which causes dehydration.  She was listless and had not life and energy left in her body and she was not breathing normally. Super concerned we headed to the hospital. Now I am not particular fond of emergency rooms like I am sure most people are not but this one was particular scary. Their were allot of big ass security guards and some super shady looking people. I also noticed allot of people who were wearing surgical face masks - is their a zombie apocalypse that I am not aware of?  When I asked the nurses they informed me that they have had huge respiratory viruses in the area because of the weird weather the plants/trees are shooting some really potent pollen in the air and making it really hard for people to breath. Husband and I spent 5 hours in the emergency room they were worried because of the high fever and because she was not drinking they had to give her most of the fever reducers through her cute little butt. They also ran chest x rays to make sure her lungs were clear which they were. I felt so bad for GG she looked so helpless and just what a shitty beginning to a trip that was supposed to be fun.  This also sucked for the bride because GG was supposed to be a flower girl and by the looks of GG she was probably not going to be able to make it.
Once we were done and we were ready to be released we were placed into a room to wait for check out.  While in this room this is what I got to stare at.....WTF really really? A whole scary as shit board all about the dangers of bed bugs. I then looked to my left and they had a scary ass board on strokes I could not even take a picture of it because it was that freaky all I wanted to do was get the hell out of there like now.....We got her to the hotel room and started to give her meds. I was not able to make the rehearsal dinner but I needed to make sure she got better so she could make the wedding.

To be continued........

Can't you just.....

Starting her out young 

relax!  My husband shouts to me from across the room.  I totally cleaned that up and NO I cannot f8ckin  relax because you know that I am an OCD clean freak nightmare and you knew this when you married me. If I do not keep shit organized my brain becomes scrambled and when my brain is scrambled I m no good to anyone. I like things to be organized and set if we do not have organization in our hectic lives then I just might just stay in bed all day and hang out with GG while housework and everything else I accomplish in a day on the back burner.  Hello hoarders anyone? I am going to pat myself on the back because I get done more in a few hours right after I get up then most people get done all day. That's the way I'm wired. This does not include the many activities I run myself and GG to throughout the day. I am always on the go and when I have a little bit a free time to myself I do not know what to do with it so I tend to start another project.  So it's hard for me to relax, shoot me why don't ya?!  On some days I want to thank my mom on other days I want to cuss her out for giving me this gene. You see when I was a teenager I did not get to sleep in. I was taught at an early age that I earned my keep and I was tossed out of bed at 7:00 am to so the weekly Saturday chores.I have pics of myself setting the table at 3. My brother never got this type of treatment WHY because he was a male in an Italian family. Nuff' said.

It is easy to tell someone to relax when they are easy going as my husband but I am the opposite. I have been this way forever I only took a break from it for a bit {party days} and I do not know how I got through it for a few years. But even with the good ol party days still hungover from the night before my ass was always at my desk by 7:30 am while other rolled in at the usual 9:00. Am I weird..... because I don't like dishes in the sink/dishwasher, laundry in the hampers, I vacuum everyday, do not like toys all over the place and need the beds to be made every morning with YES every damn decorative throw pillow neatly arranged? Am on my way to psycho status because my closet goes from light to dark short to long and that I cannot think clearly when my photo frames and kitchen appliances are not completely set up just like so? Some people might say it is because I am a stay at home mama but you know what I did this same shit when I was working so that is not the case. I have been wanting take a week off of housework and see what the male species in our home would do if this happened but then I think of the days when I have been sick in bed w/flu and everything that gets done on a daily basis by moi have come to a alt and I know that I could not do it. So for now I have learned to love the way that I am and if some people have a problem with it oh well. This is ME take me as I am. Peace out.

Shooooot meeee.....

husband and I are exhausted not just a little tired but true to the bone walking dead zombie like. It's like the all the planets aliened and decided that last night this house was not going to get any sleep. Let's start out with dog number 2 having the total runs and throwing up most of the night. I am talking Niagara falls...I know ewwww right? Well it was that and a whole lot more. We were up and down the whole night. I felt so bad for my husband cuz it was cold as balls outside. GG heard the whole commotion and of course she got up and it took forever to try and get her back down to sleep not comfy. I had to crawl into her twin bed in order to chill her out. I had maybe a total of 3 hours solid sleep and I am not happy. After I had GG my doctor was very adamant that I get sleep because little sleep for me triggers massive anxiety attacks which equals to uselessness. I know in the grand scheme of things this is minor bullshit but you know what little sleep affects me really bad and I use this blog my blog to vent so it helps a bit.  Of course all this shit happens when you have somewhere to go and a whole lotta crap to do to get there. I am now sitting here writing this post and watching While You Were Sleeping and crying my ass off just because that movie makes me cry.....Ahhhhh happy friggin Sunday my beautiful babes......

Grab a glass of wine....

and let's get to know each other{I am having a friggin diet Snapple} because I am not doing the drinking thing for a bit....DAMN you wine why must you be so good. So today I had some extra time and since I could not bear to watch another ANTM marathon - sorry folks their is only so much Tyra Banks a person can take. I was cruising some blogs and come upon this blog hop The Ultimate Blog Party 2012. I was like why the hell not let's give it a whirl. So here is a little about me. 

Welcome to my blog. 40 something new mom trying to keep it all together without losing her mind. Former "work obsessed/party girl" now a at home captain trying to figure it all out. I will shoot straight from the hip - no sugar coating here on "new mommy" anxiety, recipes, losing the baby weight {TY weight watchers}and general stuff that makes me crazy. I am here to get it all out so I keep my family and myself sane. I am Italian which means I am opinionated, loud and cuss allot.  I do not mince words and I am pretty blunt so it you offend easily this is not the blog for you. 


I don't craft, I don't kiss ass and I am way to old to give a shit. I love to cook, bake and shop not necessarily in that order. I hate to admit that I watch and love most reality TV, and I am obsessed, obsessed with celebrity trash rags and news.  I collect and have a very serious problem with handbags.  I love to shoot the shit on everything under the sun, except for religion and politics. Some subjects are better left alone. 
This is my husband and my beautiful miracle child. You will not see pics of me - one day I would love to run for president and what I say here could one day come back and bite me in the ass.  I hope you have fun on this journey of craziness and self discovery. 

GG and hubman I will not use real names 

Cheers and peace out peeps 

It looks....

This is my daughter stomping on my heart 

like this morning and the rest of today will be I hate mommy and love daddy day. This morning when my little GG got up she decided she would stab me in the heart with the first morning ever that she turned to her daddy and not me. She did not even want to look at me. I knew that this day would happen I just did not think it would hurt this bad. I always thought...pfft no big deal I will get a break from GG and can do my thing...nope did not go that way and when it happens it really really hurts.  So far this am she has been super glued to daddy...I love it but I guess because I am always the one she turns to it kind of seems weird. I need to get over it I guess but it does not mean I gotta like it.

Happy Saturday

WTF........tickle....

my butt Friday and if this offends you then this is not the blog for you....Yeah yeah so I am extra spicy and bitchy this morning that is what happens when you have 0 brain power left and getting over some stupid dumb ass head cold. I have been so scattered and foggy that yesterday morning I got my what I like to call My What's the Point {decaf non fat latte 2 splenda's} placed it on top of the car roof and drove away. Yeah FML....But you know what I love it because it is part of my crazy ass everyday vita.  So let's get this weekend started right and rip into some fun stuff.

• Why do women shave off their eyebrows only to draw them back on in some weird twisted way...I mean how the hell does someone have the time to do this everyone morning it makes no sense

• Why are women labeled sluts and men studs when they do their thing and enjoy the S-E-X?

• OK now Phildelphia Cream Cheese is being made in chocolate...OMG just shoot me now......Nutella now has a partner in crime

• Today I almost dropped a bitch at the dollar store that made an under her breath {I heard you and you knew I did because you took off in the other direction when I shot you a look}comment on what my little GG was wearing {my daughter knows how to rock her wardrobe} this coming from a hoe that was dressed like she escaped some sort of dancing with the stars reject camp. You were also a 45 yr old woman why you felt the need to comment is beyond me.  You were lucky you caught me on a mellow day today my friend very lucky. 
• Why is it then we you leave the house and you think you look fly,  you get to your destination and you look in some random mirror and your like wtf this is not working for me anymore.

• Axl Rose you were the front man to an amazing group of musicians with your doucheness you ruined one of the best bands ever. You now are throwing the same BS that you did 20 plus yrs ago and refusing to be part of the RR hall of fame one of the top honors for musicians. Grow the f*ck up and stop being a total a**hole. 

• Kim and Kayne who do you think spends more time in the mirror and which one is more annoying? Oh and by the way Kanye the shoes are UGLY you should be slapped upside your head with the 6K shoe

• Is this is a generation thing or am I just over the top neat but has some of this generation of ladies become complete and utter slobs?  I have noticed some dirty bitches on some of these reality shows. If I was a man I would not even want to be with this type of woman.   Sorry their nothing nastier than a dirty female. Also the whole I don't cook, clean, do laundry take care of the house thing is getting old might sound old fashioned here but men actually appreciate a woman who knows how to do these things. How do people live like this?

• Please please just go away... am sick of hearing about your post baby body {can you tell that this woman just rides my last nerve}. She looks great but sometimes to much is to much

• So I am watching this really bad ass infomercial with the lovely hotness of Cindy Crawford and can this fine piece of ass get any hotter she is 42 and looks like she is the same woman she was 15 years ago. I have fallen in love all over again....She is why I moisturize every part of my body especially the face twice a day.

• Talk about some weird show and tell. This is so so sad A 5-year-old boy found dozens of bags of heroin inside a jacket he had taken to school and showed them to his kindergarten classmates, the school superintendent said Tuesday.
  
  Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2012/04/10/national/a060913D62.DTL#ixzz1rvdJC7A7

Happy Friday bitches!

Chinese Water Torture......

or traveling with a demon seed toddler. I would probably take the Chinese water torture.  I do not know why we as parents put ourselves through this hell but we do and let me tell you I don't give a crap what other people have said I have never seen a toddler travel well unless

1. they were medicated or
2. they were heavily medicated.

If you are the fortunate few that were handed the angel toddler of travel my hat's off to you but I have never experienced this known phenomenon. I have traveled with GG before,  her first trip was to Maui for her first birthday and then to Mexico a few months later.  She did fine but she was  "technically" still a baby and not full on mobile yet.I popped a bottle of milk in her mouth and we were asleep in 1/2 hr flat and stayed that way for the remainder of the flight.   My darling piece of sunshine is now a full fledged toddler and as much as I love her the biggest pain in the ass when she is stuck in one area for too long and has very little patience.  Of course I am worried about what she is going to do and what kind of mood she will be in. We are leaving pretty damn early so it should {maybe} work in our favor...I really hope the hell is does because I HATE to fly and will fully be medicated on Xanax.  I am not one for really giving a crap about what other people think but I do not want my toddler taking over the plane and bothering passengers.  I do not want to become "those people" because I remember that before I became a parent I did not want to be around kids/babies on a plane. I have started getting some small new toys ready for the trip like really inexpensive little knick knacks from the dollar store. I am going to have a fully loaded Ipad with new videos and games. Snacks and non sugary food and a bunch of other crap, but their is still the black cloud of the unknown that is lingering above my head. My husband is thinking that I am making it a bigger deal of it that it is but you know what it is hard for me to be positive we are after all traveling with a.......toddler. You know a f*ckin toddler. One minute they are as happy as can be then 2.5 seconds later BAM out comes evil toddler.  You are up shit creek w/o a paddle because their is NO were to run when you are stuck up in the air inside a metal tube with already very cranky passengers.  I am no means a softy when my kid needs a spanking they will get a spanking {light on the butt} but in this lovely world of ours if I choose to discipline my child  the way I see fit I get persecuted as a bad mommy. Let's keep it real here folks, time out does not friggin work in every situation. Some people think that time out is the magical key to fix it all well you know what IT IS NOT.  I have seen many mothers out and about with their kids trying to use the time out threat and when Billy is on level 20 of a temper tantrum that shit does not fly!

I mean let's face it kids have become very unpopular in the last few years because some parents just don't handle their business. From airlines banning kids in first class, actually turning around planes to restaurants not allowing them to dine in their establishments. Kids to some of our society members are no longer cute they have become a PITA and annoying. People are not empathetic in the least. Many folks are like then why are you taking her on a plane if it causes so much anxiety? 
Because we too have the right to travel and expose my child to different countries and people. My GG is also a flower girl in her first wedding. I paid for a full airline ticket just like everyone one else on basically what is a glorified BUS. We need to remember that kids are not perfect no matter how many times some mothers like to think that their kids have flowers blowing out of their butts. Traveling as adult sucks ass can you imagine traveling as a toddler?

This afternoon I purchased some baby benadryl.....yes I did OK I did DAMMIT don't judge me! I got it today because I need to test out to see if it works on her. I heard that it works like cocaine on some kids and that is the last thing I want it a wired toddler on this flight. It sucks but I have been all over the "mommy" boards and let me tell you I am not the only one who is bringing this up in the air for back up.I also will be full locked and loaded with extra cash just in case the little one is wired I am going to be buying some passengers rounds of happy juices = alcohol. If anyone has some awesome words of advice or full proof keep toddler busy on plane let me know.

Fingers crossed and wish us luck.

Send Mucinex......

STAT. I knew this was coming but I tried my hardest not to fall in the crutches of the head cold. Popping vitamins like Pez and drinking as many of those 1,000 vitamin packets I could find. But damn you germs you have invaded my temple.I felt it coming on last week that is why I had not my usual amount of energy. I feel like I have a semi truck parked on my nose and head. GG is also snotty at the nose but you know those kiddos even if they are not feeling that well they have energy to spare.  Today is going to be a pajama/bed day for me and GG. We don't do them often but when we do we truly enjoy them because it is just her and I chillin' out, playing with dolls, coloring and enjoying each others company because my baby is growing up. I have learned that we need to take these very special moments and truly cherish them because you never know what kind of curve ball life will throw you. It is hard for me as a person to relax it really is since I am always on the go. Even on days like this I feel guilty because I am kinda laying around not doing anything - OK I lied I changed the sheets on the bed, running second load of wash and cleaned up and vacuumed upstairs and then I had to stop because I was sweating profusely  from just that....SEE this is why I suck and being sick. This is one of the bad traits that I posses which I am truly trying to get away from.I also need to get this nipped in the bud because the one thing I truly hate is to not feel well.  Easter was so chill this year. This is the first year I did not cook and we did not have an elaborate affair. I was sick and half my family was out of town for a 60th birthday party. So it was just us and my pops. My husband made some great easy food and I had chicken soup with a whole lot of tea. GG got so much loot it's  crazy - stuffed animals are taking over my casa.

The next few weeks are going to be hectic so I need to make sure I am in tip top shape. I also bought this amazing cocktail dress that I need to make sure looks tits when I wear it so I need to be in the gym everyday for the next couple of weeks.

I hope everyone had a super Easter this mama is going to take a mucinex and crawl back into bed to watch the Client List because I love me some Jennifer Love Hewitt.

GG where are you?

As you can see from the title your usual WTF Friday is not going to happen today. Why you may ask... because yesterday I had the second coming of Sybil...That's right Sybil*.  Throughout the day GG went through 8 different personalities in a 6 hour period. I don't know what happened when the personalities decided to take over but yesterday had to be one of the most tiring days I have had in a long ass while. GG {personality 1}was fine from 7 until 10:30. When we were done with the errands I needed to get done we got home put on on our hiking boots to take dog 1 and 2 out for a hike. Personality 2 came out during the hike. Instead of me pushing her on her Kettler bike she decided she wanted to push it which adds 1/2 to the walk...fine no big deal...beautiful day we can deal......I am throwing the dogs fetch toy so they can get a good run while watching GG who is struggling up the steep asssss hill. I go over to help and she throws a complete hissy fit.

"GG do you want mom to help you out with that?"
"Noooo I got it I got it" with a snotty tone in her voice struggle struggle struggle 

Fine you got it I am walking - as soon as I walk away she begins crying a cry/scream I have never heard before - I called this little event the coming of personality 3.  I am sure that the neighbors thought I was torturing a cat it sounded that painful. Just as soon as she started the scream it was over I say 5 minutes she figures out how to get her bike back on the sidewalk we move on and we are done. We get through the remainder of the walk without problems....Ok except for the part were she decides she is going to take the bike down the steep hill without waiting for me and she tumbles and fall with the bike on top of her....she was good with that one she brushes herself off and continues. Personality 4 hits me as I walk back into the house huge huge amounts of love from every direction.

"Lobe you mommy lobe you". OKayy then I like this part.
Have lunch and personality 5 and 6 combine. She is on super bitchy not listening have to call her name 18 million time before she does what I tell her to do- why is it that all toddlers have selective hearing? It is time for a nap.  Currently I have to physically put her down for a nap because if she does not by the time 5 comes around she is a friggin nightmare. We now call this the you better take a nap or mommy is going to snap time.  I get her all situated get her Mickey Mouse cartoon on her Ipad and she is asleep in 20.5 seconds. Yeah!!!!!!! Mommy gets to breath. She is out for a total of 1 hour and 45 minutes...Score bitches. I pay some bills,  catch up on some blogs, start prepping dinner, fold some laundry menu plan for next week and just chill for a bit.  GG starts to stir on the couch because  I have now learned were a toddler falls to sleep is were she will remain. She is stirring and she is in this half sleep half wake state which means for the next 50 minutes I have to listen to a complete supersonic size temper tantrum. I mean this was the worst it was like she was in a trance. I tried to calm her down but the more I tried the worse it  got. So I just let her be.  At one point I started vacuuming yep I did.  After 50 minutes...snap she was back GG looked at me said color mommy, color and it was done. WTF just happened? I felt I was put through the spin cycle.
By the time 5 hit I was done. My husband took one look at me when he got back from work and without saying a word took GG upstairs with him while I finished getting dinner ready.  On days like yesterday all I want is a big fat glass of wine and a cigarette { I didn't do it though}. I know this sounds bad but their are some days that just kick your ass and yesterday was one of them for me. I will remain cool as a cucumber this weekend though.  Hopefully the full moon will be gone by then and things will go back to "normal" Wish me luck.


*small note I am not making fun of personality disorders/mental illness OK so back off. I am kind of sick of not being able to make a few jokes without people getting their damn panties in a bunch. Loosen up!

Yesterday it happened......

the one thing I have been dreading and not looking forward to. I have a HUGE temper and it does not take much to set me off. I however have worked on myself and I am{believe it or not} allot calmer than I used to be. But when you mess with my daughter the mama bear comes out of me and I get pissed real quick. I was proud that I did not lose my cool yesterday when I happened to spot a bully in training mess with my daughter. GG gets along with everyone and she looks forward to going to the class every week. She has been participating in this particular class since she has been a little baby. GG is a tough girl but she is the youngest in the class by almost 8 months from all the other kids. For some reason this almost 3 year old  had a problem with my daughter and a few of the other girls for she did not only go after GG but she went after another girl in the class who is an absolute sweetheart. Now as mothers who are getting to communicate with other adults the first time all week we all sometimes get caught up in our chit chat but we are always watching out for each others kids in the class. I  believe the mother of this particular...eh emmm bullyIT did not notice what was going on because I am {hopefully} sure she would have done something about it.

The kids were all playing around the gym, they had just received colorful balls from the teacher and were having a great time just hanging out. At one point all the girls{of course} and one of the boys in the class were all in a row on top of one of the gym foam thing and for some unknown toddler Sybil reason this girl tries to take GG's ball from her. GG resisted and was not having her ball taken away from her.....Then this bullyIT did not like that GG was next to her friend in the class and she decided to shove her out of the way until GG hit the floor.  At that point I could see GG was not physically hurt but this bullyIT really hurt her feelings. It started with the "lip" quiver and then she started to cry. Now I do not coddle/helicopter mom my child  and I am the type of mom who will tell her daughter to suck it up when she takes a fall however I felt for her at that moment. I went over to pick her up shot a super dirty look to bullyIT {YOU BET YOUR ASS I DID}and I am not apologizing for it either. It was not cool and I saw the look on bullyIT face and she was doing it to be mean...period. Kids are a whole lot smarter than what we give them credit for and the whole kids will be kids does not fly with me.

Blah Blah yeah yeah yeah I should not have had it get to me but you know what until it happens to your little one no one has the right to judge what you would do with your emotions in that moment. The mother did nothing about it like I said I am hoping she did not say anything because she did not witness it their is always so much chaos in that class it is hard to keep track of all the kids running around.  After she was done with GG I saw her go after another little girl...same MO. Once again her mom was so busy chit chatting I do not think she saw it happen. I let it go this week but if happens next week we are going to have a problem and mommy dearest is going to get a wake up call {tactfully of course}.

Towards the end of the class all the little ones get around in a circle to sing a good by song. Of course bullyIT sits right next to us.....She looks over and shoots me the evil eye. At that moment I realize that she knew exactly what she did WAS wrong and she was making no apologies for it. That is what scared me the most.

It looks like

Check out the cool ass carrying case? Neat and tidy all the crap goes
when she is done playing

we might have a little break fro the rain...Woot Woot....I may not be a crafty bitch but I know what some girls like. I am the more let's purchase the crafts kind of person...Not a a big shocker to the people that know me. Yes I am creative when it comes to merchandising clothes, home decorating and cooking/baking. Maybe a little sad but you know what oh well  I own it. I took a pic of GG's rainy day rescue kit and so far it has rocked balls. she loves it and spends quite a bit of time with the busy hand projects. I also add small snacks through out the day and she finds this to be so special. Yeah me.....

Non marking markers.....you geniuses at Crayola
Letter candy beading in fun ass colors
Mardi Gras beads from 1.00 store 

Some toy cars...for some reason GG is obsessed 

Wood blocks with numbers also fun to bead into accessories
or we can always start an illegal dice game...Mmmmm

Happy Humpy Ass Day

It is unbelievable......

Theresa girl love your new blog I am trying to comment but for some reason it will not let me? Shoot me an email and let me know waas up?

Now back to our regularly scheduled rant and rave 

how bad I am ready for some more space and how badly I need a backyard. I feel like sometimes the walls are closing in on me and everywhere I turn I am tripping on some ball, dog, stupid toy part and a toddler. I am an extremely organized person but even with my constant purging and cleaning/picking up it never stops.....I would love on some days just to open patio doors and let them all out. I live in a nice neighborhood but I am still in a town home so it means always always having to keep an eye out on what the dogs and toddler are doing when they are in the front of the house. As you may or may not know I am super duper cautious and completely paranoid. So I am always on guard so I can never truly relax when she is outside in the front or on the huge deck we have in the back. Since toddlers love to climb I am always worried she will get on one of the deck chairs and fly off the side.....God forbid. My so called mountain backyard is also the area of some on the best hiking trails in the area were we live so we always have people wandering around the back which makes my one over protective dog go nutty and the barking drives me insane. I got to give it to Dog 1 though she is one mean ass dog when she wants to be. Oh did I forget to mention the coyotes, deer and the wild turkey...yeah I got those to wandering the trails. Beautiful to look at not so much if the bitches attack and I know they do I have seen those animal attacks shows.

Heeere's your sign

As you know or not we have started the initial stages of looking for a new home.  Husband and I decided to take it slow, we don't want to rush into anything and want to take our time to pick out our next home cuz this time I have some non negotiables.  I am now researching neighborhoods, schools and of course the home inventory. What just bust my balls is the amount some of these homes or pieces of crap are going for. For shit nuggets for  800,000 you would think that when you bought a home you would not have to do a damn thing to it when you buy it...right....Nope not in certain areas in the state of California. For 800,000 you can expect to get a fixer upper at best depending on the area. I have viewed 1975's horror houses for 850,000 I am talking about flower wall paper hell everywhere including the damn ceiling with Liberace style bathrooms and gold friggin chandeliers....WTF? Wood paneling...kiss my ass I do not care how "retro" it is...it's U-G-L-Y and it makes me feel like I am trapped in a box...want your rooms to look smaller go ahead and do keep the ugly shit up. Vomit colored carpet that looks like it has not been cleaned in years...yep saw some of that shit to.I have had to stop watching HGTV because  get so pissed when I see that for 250,000 in some states you can get a mini mansion...were I live 250,000 might just might get you a postage size stamp studio.  I swear it gets so damn discouraging. Will it get better...I sure the hell hope it does......Wish me luck gang....and Happy Tuesday..yo

Heading towards week number 4 of the NO wine challenge...

Really...... was wall paper that popular in the 70's 

You can take the wood paneling and shove it 

This is why....

instead of taking me 45 minutes to finish the damn grocery shopping it takes me 2 hours. Damn you*fist shaking* Toy Story balls and useless smelly toxic squishy toys. My child goes in a trance every time she spots you. Happy Sunday!