Oh say it isn't..........

so...Thing 1 and Thing 2 are now having a baby......

OH gawd I see all the friggin headlines that we will have to look at for the next months.....

1. Kris Jenner has new baby client/model for baby hooker wear
2. Kimye bloated, upset, gains too much weight blah blah blah 
3. Kim 8 months pregnant walking in 6 inch Louboutin heels see pics here first
4. Kimye baby shower Kbaby gets new custom Bentley 
5. Bruce Jenner disappears into Kim K enormous pregnancy ass 

I am sorry to say and this is strictly MY OPINION but these two seem to be 2 of the most selfish  narcissistic  people ever.  I truly do hope babyK will never gets hold of the XXX tape mommy made in order to get famous. OH bTw keeping it classy Kanye referring to the woman who is carrying your unborn child as your baby mama...REAL classy.....And Kim even though you don't DRINK your 12 weeks pregnant you showing up at a club opening in Las Vegas NYE is bullshit. Even though you don't drink you will have people around you who will and with that comes smoking which you and your baby will be around. I know that your are all about $$$$$ but hey lady it is time to start thinking that from today on your child comes first. You now take a back seat. Hope you can get that through your pretty little head.

Move over Kate your royal pregnancy has been upstage by the hugeness that is Kim's ass and even bigger Kanye's ego......

God help us through this.....

Back in the saddle.....

Was up - felt reindeer masks for the kiddos 

again....Well folks another Christmas has come and gone.....Heading into the home stretch of a New Year and 2013. Holy shit I do not believe that it will be 2013.  I am still like what the hell happened to the 90's and early 2000 ????....Christmas was fabulous at the house we went all out with the Christmas dinner and we had way too much of a good time. Planning a dinner party requires allot of time and organization and because I am anal and have slight OCD I start prepping about 2-3 weeks before the event. Between ordering the flowers, planning the table and food, coming up with a color scheme it takes some time.  Yep I know but I do not do things half assed and it is all or nothing.

Oreo Mini Cheescakes 

This year purple, white and silver 

The menu was as follows: 
I do assorted cheeses on a large cutting board - let's just say we are about cheese in this house and we have become known for the cheese tray.....
Various artisan breads
Short Ribs
Fresh crab stuffed sole baked with crispy bread crumb top
Twice stuffed potatoes infused with truffle oil and bacon
Shaved fennel salad TY to my SIL mommy
Roasted Veggies
Cream puffs with custard
Oreo mini cheesecakes with fresh whipped creme
Chocolate dipped pretzels with candy coating
Rice Krispies for the kiddos

Rudolph

Creme Puff Tower I filled with custard can we say SINFUL

Table setting 

All white flowers throughout the house

Chocolate dipped pretzel rods 

GG got total loot because I started present shopping early I forgot what I hid and bought so it was like holy crap man she got loot. My husband tells me I spoil her but I really do not. I have one of her and if she behaves and does what she needs to do then it is my pleasure if she behaves like a total brat ass it is nothing and tough shit. 

Barbie Doll House  

New Year is going to bringing many new challenges and changes. I am looking forward at looking for a new home with my family. It is time to get out of dodge and look for a larger place. We are moving closer to were my family is and all of my true blue friends are. I want my daughter to grow up around the same awesome friend unit I grew up around.  I have learned that you can only count on family and certain friends in time of need.  I am also excited to think that we will finally have a backyard. City living does not allow for much yard and even though I have hiking trails around me I would love just to open a back door and have my little out there with the pups. We are just out growing our place and I am beginning to feel a tad claustrophobic and quite frankly I am just ready for a change. I am super excited at the process...not so much the packing part...and the holy shit this dump is almost 900,000 and I have to do work before I even move in. YES people we live in California and the house prices where we live are just f*ckin high. 900,000 anywhere would probably buy us a nice piece of property or some type of McMansion but here near the lovely GGB is gets you shit. So I am not looking forward to that part. I am also thinking I might want to rent at first to see really check out the hoods so I don't end up in some lame ass neighborhood where the people suck. All my Xmas decorations have already been put away and stored away for another year. 

NYE my happy old ass is staying home and doing the family things. I did enough hard core partying through my young adult life that I do not need to wait in line for a drink. We are professionals we drink at home...lol. Anyways that is it for now. Hope everyone had a kick ass Christmas!

Cheers 

Hubba Hubba....

This morning I was up at my usual ungodly hour of 4:30 am. The house was still dogs sleeping, hubman and toddler out like logs. I do my usual and go downstairs, get myself some tea, turned on the Xmas tree lights and started to watch whatever stupid show was on the TV. Now yes I could have read or blogged but if I turn on the lights the dogs hear the click and think it is is food time and they come a charging down it sounds like 8 stallions running for water it scary and loud and not something I want to deal with at such an early hour.  For whatever reason while I was just laying down and hanging out on the couch watching the same Roseann episode for the 100th time Rachel Welch popped into my head. Now I cannot even tell you why the hell that happened especially while watching Roseann but it just did  - sometimes strange shit like this goes on in my head so I learn just to go with the flow.   I was curious to see how old the bronze goddess who with one bad ass fur bikini became the fantasy of many boys and some girls for years to come.  When I pulled this up I almost choked on my Get Gorgeous Tea. Are you friggin kidding me really...REALLY..If this is what 72 looks like where the hell do I sign up for treatments. Are you kidding me...ARE. YOU. F8ckin. Kidding me?!! I am not sure if she has had some botox and a little nip tuck here and there but whom ever her PS is that could or could have not done some wok hats off because the woman does not look like she has had much done and if she has had stuff done she  does not look like all these plastic cat women that I see wandering around. Since I will 43 in a short month...I am going to strive my best to make sure that I take care of my shit the very best way possible in order to look my very best. What an inspiration becasue you know what life does not stop at 40 as Hollywood want us to believe. You can rock your sexy hotness at whatever age.

God still sexy at 72...rock it sista! Snap!

If one....

more person comes near me with a snotty totally sick child or decides to cough in my face without putting their hands over their mouths we are going to have a serious problem. I have been on and off sick for the last three weeks. Every time I think I have kicked it...it those little bitch germs find a way to crawl back into my system. We attended an event with 25 kids that were coughing and snorting all over each other. I have been popping Riccola la crack and drinking so much wellness tea I am about to float away. Nothing seems to work not even my awesome go to always works Mussenix. The only positive thing about having this never ending cold is my voice is all sexy like Demi Moore.


Aughhhhh.......

Numb......

that is the state of feeling that I have been since Friday when I heard about the horror that occurred in Connecticut. When I heard the news I stopped the car and cried I cried like I have not cried in awhile just thinking of all those innocent children and the hero's that tried to save them. That day I went and picked up my child early and hugged her so hard...so hard that she asked me what was wrong. I could not tell her she is not even three and does not need to know or will understand what an evil place our planet can sometimes be.  In shock, scared, angry, confused......WHY...Why....I am sure this is the the only post that we will be reading about why this happened and would get make a human - no not a human a piece of sub garbage do something like this? Everyday I have asked myself that question. I will not go into detail about what a horrible monster this human who did this was because he does not deserve our time and I will not even mention his name because that alone brings so much anger in me I want to burst. I am only hoping that is their is a hell and that hell has a sub basement were people like him are made to suffer harshly  for the remainder of eternity.

I am scared and I do not scare easily. I have always been paranoid but now I am on super alert def com 5. I am going to my little ones preschool today to speak to the director to see what plans our campus has if something GOD forbid like this were to happen again. I hate to say this but this is one of the main reasons I did not want to bring a child into this world was because of some of the evil which shadows a black cloud over our planet. I have not slept much since Friday. Every time I look at GG I imagine the pain those parents will be going through for the rest of their lives. I imagine the children that had to witness something that an innocent child's eyes should never witness. We can play the blame game....but we will never know exactly what snapped in this humans brain that made him do such a horrific thing. We need to start digging deeper and fixing the problem not just masking it with a band aid.  I have turned off the news I can no longer watch.

Let's keep these little angels in our hearts and remember the courage of the hero's who risked their lives  protecting their students.

How refreshing..................

an actual celebrity who tells the truth about child birth and does not sugar coat it with rainbow farts and cupcake bull shit. Giving birth is hard it is called labor for a reason and no matter what route you decide to take au natural or epidural giving birth is hard work.  So it is refreshing to hear someone as hot as Megan Fox say:

"Giving birth was far more painful than she ever imagined".   I was screaming for an epidural!

AMEN sista preach it girl becasue it is not fun and it is painful. YES everyone's bodies are different and can tolerate different levels of pain however......maybe....just....maybe.....their are a few sub humans out there that have not experienced the "pain" while going through labor but I gotta tell ya folks I really do have a hard time believing it. I have seen women who have a huge levels of pain tolerance and I have seen them crumble while giving birth. So two thumbs up to Megan Fox for telling it how it is and not giving us a bunch of rehearsed beauty pageant answers. No bullshit just straight to the point. Do you hear that Ms. Giselle?

***BTW I do not like Giselle Bundchen - It has nothing to do that she is a beautiful leggy supermodel. I appreciate truly beautiful women I just think this chick does not know when to STFU and she thinks she knows everything about being pregnant and childbirth  She is annoying as f*ck and her voice grates my every last tingling nerve. Just some of the stupid shit that has come out of her perfectly formed mouth....

• "It wasn't painful, not even a little bit." - about labor - Liar...Liar pants on fire....What a crock of shit
• "I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months. - STFU you stupid stupid woman you have no idea what circumstances are for each mother...how about if the mother COULD not breast feed you ASSHOLE
• "I did kung fu up until two weeks before Benjamin was born, and yoga three days a week. I think a lot of people get pregnant and decide they can turn into garbage disposals. I was mindful about what I ate, and I gained only 30 pounds." OH God can someone please send me some duct tape so we can just tape her mouth shut. 
• ''Some people here (in the US) think they don't have to breastfeed, and I think 'Are you going to give chemical food to your child when they are so little?" - Her PR people really need to tell her to STFU - this one caused eye twitches from me

These are just a few if I had to list all of them we would be here all day. Listen everyone is entitled to their own opinions however this one should think about having her PR team look over her shit...because these are opinions that are made to make other people feel like total shit. Take that and stick it in your all natural pipe and smoke it.

Can someone please tell me......

WTF is wrong with some of the young adults that range from 20-29....I have noticed an alarming trend in the last few months around town especially in the area where I live.  We have some LAZY ass young adults. wtf happened to having some respect and pride in yourself to do what you need to do in order to become a productive producing member of society?  I am so sick of looking around and seeing young people waste their lives. I mean I do not even know where to begin. Is that some of these YA live at home and do nothing to help around the house nothing, zero, nada they just lay around in their grungy sweats all day and do nothing.   Is that you spend most of you days sleeping and your nights playing video games? Is that you are almost 25 and still have never held down any type of job  because your still trying to "find yourself" - I call  BULL SHIT that is called being f*cking lazy. You don't work, you don't go to school, you don't volunteer then WTF do you do with your time?  Now as you can see above I use the word some....before some of you get your panties in a bunch please remember that I am no speaking about all off this generation just some...and the bunch of somes that I have encountered are just so depressing, unmotivated and lazy that it takes all my might not to bitch slap them across their faces and say wake the f*ck up - your missing out on life! Their is a whole world out there...Yep I know things are a little tough right now but do something with your time don't hang out all day and do nothing with your life.....Shit I was a Generation X'er and we had some tough ass shit to during our times but I always had a job always no matter how menial or how little money I made. I see a generation of {some} slackers at this present moment in time.

I can tell you this...I am not that old but shit like this would have never flown in my house. We have YA"s who don't know how to balance a check book, pay their own bills or make a living in this world. I have seen YA women who don't know how to boil an egg and let me not get started on some of the filthy dirty women I have seen in the last few months.I mean dirty stuff all over the floor, bed sheets the color of dirt and hello can you please pick up your nasty underwear.....GOD how gross is that shit? At 21 I was running my own home cooking,  cleaning ect....working full time.   It was that way or the highway. Hubby and I have made it clear - when GG reaches 18 the following 3 choices will be presented to her.

College
Working Full Time
Military

She will not be coasting her life away not going to happen. My husband wants her to get her own place when she is 18 but being I am Italian I am fine with her hanging out for a bit as long as she is doing one of the three above. I worked from the time I was 14 and paid for my own college. My parents were kind enough to give me whatever they could from a private school education from grammar to high school to helping me getting my first car at 16....I paid for half of that car from the money I saved doing my part time job. I see allot of unmotivated slackers in our mist and what scares me the most is that GG is going to becoming home with one as her husband one day...That very thought keeps me up at night.

I really do hope it gets better but come one Generation Boomerang get your butts of the couch and start living life......

The Royal Nugget.....

So the world has found out that duchess Kate is now preggos. I mean even if you do not follow the gossip rags and crap news like I do I am sure as hell somewhere on some regular old news station you have heard that the little DK is expecting. Japan was hit with 2 pretty major earthquakes today not a blimp on the screen...Kate is preggos holy shit the whole damn world goes insane!  Now I am happy for her and Prince William even though I am not a huge royal family junkie like some of my friends{I did not even watch the royal wedding on the telly} I am really happy for them both but I however also feel real bad for them. This couple will not be left alone until this little royal nugget is delivered unto our wicked ass world. Every throw up, every pound she gains, every preggo skin breakout, craving and crappy mood swing the camera's will be there. Can you imagine going through a pregnancy {and appears she might just have a tough one} with camera's in your face documenting every little thing....Now I know there are some of you *MTB out in bloggland who are like...OMG that would be so cool to have someone document my every pregnancy move and glow...be careful what your ass wishes for because if I was a betting WOman I can kind of guarantee that it is not much fun.....especially when you feel like crap, and you just want to lay on the couch dive bombing a bowl of chips with M & M's, crying while watching something like Steal Magnolias and At&T commercials.  I bet having a super zoom lens camera aimed right at your huge stomach, ass and double chin is the last thing you would want. Could you imagine the headline?!?

I think her pregnancy is going to become a circus....I mean she is not even 12 weeks yet and the what do you think she is going the name game has begun I know people that are making their own lists WTF?????Really do you have nothing better to do with your time than to sit there and make up baby lists for the royal couple?!! Come one over my house I can give you a shitload to keep ya busy. The kid is not even here yet and I am already sick of hearing royal baby this and royal baby that. I mean I have a feeling this pregnancy is going to be longer than Jessica Simpsons I swear that girl was pregnant for over a year...or it just seemed that way because every move she made it was documented somewhere.And I am sure that dumb ass Giselle Bundchen will pipe in on what she should do and not do. ...She seems to have anointed herself the saint of preggo women everywhere....Love your body girl but damn you are one annoying ass supermodel!

Give the DKate a break and let her enjoy her pregnancy and all the ups and downs it comes with it....

*Mother to be

Drama 911.....

So I am like...kinda of...... wondering where the hell my daughter went? The last couple of weeks I feel like I have been dealing with Sybil you know the chick with the 101 personalities*BTW it came out that that whole things was a big ol shammy sham sham*. Back to GG I swear to George people she is driving me crazy. All of a sudden she has become little Ms. Diva and I will not stand for such bullshit. I mean it is like she is me when I am PMSing like a MoFo. If this little bit of attitude is anything what she is going to give me in her tween years I might as well sign up for rehab right now. I can deal that everyday I am getting a new person what I cannot deal with is the whiny girl she seems to have become overnight. The girl can't seem to remember that in order to get what you need done you need to ask for it like a person and not some whiny ass chick that sounds like a bad imitation on one of the ladies from real housewives when she does not get the big ass diamond she really wanted. I know she is a toddler and I need to cut her some slack but I will not have a little girl who whines it is like nails on a chalkboard.  I know their are many things I said to myself that if I ever had a child would never have them do...some I have not stuck to*HELLO Barbie* others I will not have her break me and that is to have a girl that whines. I hate whiny girls drives me insane in the membrane...I would rather have a girl who shouts than a girls who whines. And the drama Jesus H Christ the drama is so over the top I feel like I am in Clueless. Everything is an ordeal...getting in the car.....carrying her lunch pail...daily life.....Wahhhhhhh

Besides that she will not leave the house until she is perfectly accessorized and her shoes must match*My bad on that one I am pretty anal when it comes to how my daughter leaves the house*. Must be the Italian in me but my daughter is always put together might sound silly but that is the why I am programmed. I remember looking back at my baby pics and my mom did the same thing to me clothing were always stylish as stylish as the 70's could be but I was lucky I got allot of my clothing from my nonna in the old country and most of the Italian frocks rocked! She has also become a little OCD on how she likes to keep her toys whihc sometimes gang to tell you the truth scares me a little. I will go into her room to put the laundry away and I will have like 11 barbies staring at me all in this american psycho neat row....Kind of creepy but she is a little one trying to come in on her own......right?  If heads start disappearing and I find plastic body parts under the bed I think it might be time to worry.....I also would like the common courtesy that my daughter listen and answer me when I call her name. Nothing is more infuriating then calling my beloved GG 800 times before she answers. I also think that she is growing up and I need to be more patient with her. I just started having her buckle herself in her car seat because she wants to do it on her own an she can I just need to let her spread her wings and let her do her thing and I need to slow down and I need to start trusting her. I fell like three is going to be a magical year for my little one...she is already fiercely independent I wonder what is in store for me? Oh joy!

Who me...you talking about me?

You know when I started this little blog diary almost 2 years ago I never would have thought that I would still be doing and liking it. I feel that I can communicate freely. I love that when I feel anxious about anything I can vomit all that goes on in this crazy mind of mine and I have bloggcoolassfriends who never judge. I never did think about kind of introducing myself because hell I had no idea what the hell I was doing. But little by little I learned and truly begun to enjoy what I was doing. I like writing it is fun and I like that I can be as unfiltered as I wanna be. I have made some super ass cool friends through this little adventure and look forward to reading their bits of  life everyday. I just wanted to give you a little bit of an introduction to whom I am and what I am all about.

Welcome to my planet.........oh I mean blog.  40 something mom to a kick ass toddler. Had my shit kicker  later in life and she is keeping me young. Trying to keep it all together without losing my mind. A former "work obsessed/hard core party girl" now a at home crazy bitch trying to figure it all out. I will shoot straight from the hip - no sugar coating here on "new mommy" anxiety, reality TV,  whining celebrities and general stuff that makes me crazy which today can be anything. I am here to get it all out so I keep my family and myself sane. I am Italian which means I am opinionated, loud and cuss allot which I am really trying to work on since my toddler repeats everything I say and I do mean everything.....I do not mince words and I am pretty blunt so it you offend easily this is not the blog for you. 

I don't craft, I don't kiss ass and I am way to old to give a shit. I love to cook, bake and shop not necessarily in that order. I hate to admit that I watch and love most reality TV, and I am obsessed, obsessed with celebrity trash rags and news but heh at least I admit it. I can sometimes be a bitch as most women are...so if you think you are perfect this is not the place for you. I can be sarcastic and I can sometimes be a little to crude but you know what it is me take it or leave it.  I collect and have a very serious problem with high end designer handbags.  I love to shoot the shit on everything under the sun, except for religion and politics. Some subjects are better left alone. 
You will not see pics of me on this blog - one day I would love to run for president and what I say here could one day come back and bite me in the ass.  I hope you have fun on this journey of craziness and self discovery.

I love the following things, places and people

• My family and friends - duh 
• Anything to do with the Napa wine country 
• Wine 
• Being a good person - unless you royally piss me off and totally lie to me then you are pretty much done 
• Neiman  and Saks - Nordstrom to Barney's 
• Paris 
• Mademoiselle Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel 
• Karl Lagerfeld even though sometimes he needs to think before he speaks 
• The shade/colors of black and white and added a bit of gray in the last few years - shocker right?
• Salvador Dali 
• Horror films and horror directors that make a difference 
• Celebrity rags and mags and hello addicted a little to a place called TMZ
• Handbags, handbags some people have shoes I have handbags 
• I am a  foodie and enjoy great uncomplicated food in moderation 
• Chefs 
• Deserted beaches 

Things I don't really like - Oh hell that list would be too long and I would bore you to death and scare some people......

Hope you had fun....

Late