Happy Halloween

gang! It is beginning to be that time of year were I spend most of my time in the kitchen...I do that pretty much year around but I baked my balls off yesterday and did about 60 cupcakes. I was so done after the last one that I do not want to see cupcake batter for the next few months. After I decided to alter the cupcake a little and add less fudge frosting. I also could not find any damn white cotton candy for smoke so decided to add a little pretzel stick for the witches cauldron. They turned out pretty great my husband polished out about 3 of them and was ready for more. You see I do not taste my own baked goods.  With the amount of baking and cooking that I do I need to make sure that I have someone who is always willing to take one for the team and be my taste tester. I do not wan the extra calories so I have him do the hard job of testing all my goods. I know how long I need to sweat on the damn elliptical for just one bite of cupcake...Augh

I also put together about 24 of these little trick bags for my GG's class.... I am so glad that at least we can bring treats to her friends at school they will just go home with the little ones so the parents can decide to give it to them or not. I would hope that even the sugar nazis that live in my area would bend the rule for one night and have them enjoy this over the top sugary holiday. I am also super excited because in 22 days my awesome MIL is coming for a visit and is going to be here for the gobble gobble holiday. A first and we are super over the top happy she is coming.

Today is going to be a busy day....GG dress up day at school, parade, lunch then hopefully home for a nap and then off to a fire fighter BBQ and trick or treating with the little one......God I love this frigging day......
Everyone be safe and have a great day!

Oh YEah......

OK...OK...I have never been a huge sports fan...Mmmmm let me see I actually suck at watching and participating in sports activities believe you me I have tried{husband is a sports fanatic} but no offense to the sports loving peeps out there but it some of this shit bores the hell out of me. Now if shopping was a sports events I would be a champ but until Saks decides to sponsor a handbag shopping team I am SOL. Even with my lack of sports knowledge and passion I can still be damn proud when my home town baseball team the San Francisco Giants won their second series in 3 years. Woot...Woot...to the boys............

PS....I am also going to be cleaning a little house with my bloggy list...I feel that when we all take the time to visit other blogs, read and comment we should receive the same bloggy love back. In the last couple of months I noticed that some blogs don't even try anymore. So it is time for a little fall cleaning.

Do we ever know.......

who we decide to leave our  kids with? I state this this morning because while I was getting up this am I got a brief shot of a horrific news story out of NYC were a nanny "allegedly" stabbed to death a 2 and 6 year old that were left in her care and then tried to commit suicide. I cannot tell you how bad I feel this morning.  First their was painful sadness for this mother and the family....... next anger. I can tell you this if something like ever happened to me I would have nothing to lose and let's leave it at that. What makes a human and what goes through someone minds do something like this?   Not only did you gruesomely take the lives of two innocent angels but you have scarred that family forever. People like this should be punished by the full extent of the law, people like this should have no room on our earth.  Your were paying this person to look after your most precious gifts.  I can tell you this someone like this has had emotional issues in the past they just took awhile to surface because no matter how normal you may seem to be on the outside if a person has emotional issues it could take years to surface.  Do we ever truly know the people we allow in our lives? I am so numb this morning. After hearing this story I turned around and gave my husband a huge kiss and hug..... Because of how hard he works I am allowed to stay home with my child and take care of her myself. Before the bashing begins I KNOW that their are some families that do not have a choice but to have to go to work in order to support their families...I am just saying that I feel extremely lucky that at this point in our lives I can be the one raising my child and not some stranger. When your hiring nannies/babysitters and whomever is going to be around your children please be vigilant.   I might be super ass to the 100 power paranoid but that is the way it is going to be with me period.  We live in a world where you can no longer go by word of mouth when it comes to your kids.  Not only should you run a background check you should run a psychological background checks. Hire a reputable agency that run major FBI checks you cannot play Russian roulette with your families lives. This is a horrible crime and I cannot even begin to get myself ready this morning because all I wanna do is stay here and hug on my child.

After this story and some of the other stories/issues that have been floating around lately I am highly considering shutting down my blog. I believe the less people know now a days the better.

Rewind......

You know when you have one those mornings when you get and wish that you can just press the rewind button to have the day start all over again. I need one of those MoFo's already this am. I pretty much got little sleep last night - we had a pretty huge rain storm and the wind was out of control which means my little one was woken up by it and in our room wondering what the hell was going on. The dogs were restless, I was restless and it does not help that I am PMSing my balls off so I am a anxiety wreck anyway. I slept soundly from maybe 3-5 and that is not going to cut it for me.  I just don't function well on little sleep period.....The morning started great I mean GG got up and she is potty training like a champ so we were both really excited since this am she went in the toilet before she came downstairs for breakfast. Yep I was proud and because I see no wrong in bribing kids to do certain things I gave her her 2 quarters for her piggy bank like I promised  her last night before she went to bed{this is only for her am pee}.....So I go downstairs to get her breakfast ready and start on my own - I am frying up my egg whites/spinach my usual. I go to grab the toaster which I keep on top of the fridge and the asshole falls right on top of the fire extinguisher we keep in the kitchen in turn busting the damn seal on the thing and poof here comes the white powder. Now I have only seen these lovelies break on TV but let me tell you just a slight hit and it looked like Al Pacino's Scarface movie set in my kitchen.

I almost cried as I tried to clean all the shit up from the floor, counter, stove every friggn corner of the kitchen  Mind you I am trying to beat the clock in order to get me and GG out the door for school. I had to toss all the food I was making because of this white shit on it. Of course being totally paranoid I was scared that I would be growing an extra eye ball this morning as I drove my little one to school. What the hell is it Friday the 13th an no one told me about it.....How does shit like this happen to me on a daily basis?  I need to take my hubmans advice and sloe the f*ck down once in awhile. Everything got better once I worked my ass off.

I am looking forward to tonight.  I have some gals coming over for a girls night and a little bit of vino and food. Soooo looking forward to it. I need some chick time for sure......or I am going to be checking myself into the below.....

A little warning to future GG dates.......

Beware..........This awesome mini video was produced by one of my husband accounts. You see my husbands company produces cool fun shit that you can see in the dark with *think thermal and think being able to see something in pitch ass darkness* basically my husband is a defensive contractor and around some massive fire power at work. So in keeping with this whole end of the world zombie thing which is HUGE right now check out this friggin awesome clip.

Come on click right here for some bad assness

Ohhhhh and be sure never to bring her home late because mama knows how to shoot to.

What the F*ck.....

Friday people. Yeah  I know I have been one big fat slacker with this weekly post but ya know what sometimes shit happens and you gotta do what you gotta do ...you know what I mean......I have had very little sleep in the last two days because of some major road construction going on near the highway we are not close to the highway but because we live up in the hill it echos like a mother and the bitches have been doing construction from midnight to five in the am. I would probably hear it less if I closed our windows but because we have had some bitch hot weather this week if we do not open the windows my dogs would shank me with their paws. I will try to do this weekly but with the friggin holidays I might not be very good at keeping the pace or it could be a great time because their is nothing like turkey day and Xmas to bring out the bitch in me. So here it goes short and sweet.....

• One finger salute to the workers that are taking theirs sweet time with the construction of the highway. Now I know I should not be mean to them their only doing their job but you know what the semi back up  beeep...beeeppp.beeepppp through the night can really grate your nerves. WTF it 3 o'clock in the morning what cars are around that you need to use that annoying back up beep. 

• WTF do people who send scam emails stating that they got their asses robbed in some country and to send them 1,500 in order to get home actually work? Because I don't f*cking believe people fall for that shit!
• Capitalism at it's best you go to a pumpkin farm - my second one this week*so over pumpkins* - and your there to buy overpriced pumpkins you think the bitches running the place would give the kiddos a free ride on the damn bouncy slide/house...but NOOOOOOO 6.00 for a slide and 5.00 for jumpy castle and then they had the guts to put a 15 minute time limit for those prices my kid is going to bounce until she throws up her lunch!

• Strange but true......Dildo removed from man's intestine and shit like this always seems to happen in Japan and or China. I am just reporting the facts here people. Man said to have done this for more sexual pleasure with his wife....the subject matter was 9 inches long and 3 inches wide and all I can say is WTF and ouch. Enough said on this lovely piece of news. 
• WTF is this continues I am going to start stock piling food for the zombie attack. Hackers in Utah did this to road signs. Hey we had a huge ass meteorite hit California last night who knows wtf came down with it.  Maybe this whole world ending in December maybe I should go on a little shopping spree...Thank God I watched Zombieland so I know exactly what to do during the "invasion".  

• Once again WTF was Theresa wearing during the RHONJ reunion and once again WTF has happened to her...

OH and her husband Juicy Hoe Joe is the biggest douche EVER

Uhhhmmm yeah get a new suit Juicy no one has worn their shirt collars
like that since John Travolta and he did it wayyyyyy better than your ass

• My toddler has been taken over by a 12 year old tween. She went from sweet as pie to a smart ass diva and I am about to shut it down...snap...Maybe it just been a bad week....No?

• I am not one to hang out with kids who have stinky diapers however the woman who was asked to step off the bus with her child because he had a stinky diaper I kind of felt was wrong...Dude we have no control when these kids are going to shit in their diapers. This poor woman rides the bus everyday with her child and I think that was just not cool....I have noticed that in the last few years children are not something people have patience for anymore. 

• Sienna Miller I sod on't get it...This woman has been in one friggin movie in the states and she sucks as an actress why do I have to see her damn face everywhere?  I am so sick of her...go away!

• Some of my friends are like how could you decorate the front of the house all scary for Halloween  WTF am I supposed to do decorate it with happy shit? It.is. Halloween! I am showing my daughter that the cocoon skeletons in front of the house are fake and NOT REAL and for right now she gets it. I feel that by sheltering  kids from stuff like this is making SOME f them into big ass pansy kids which in turn will become PITA adults. I don't want a kid who is scared all the time. Talk to them like little adults they are not morons they are allot smarter than what we give them credit for. Does this look like a kid who is scared????

Dr. GG checking on one of the cocoon men heart sounds good!

Happy Friday!

I see naked.....

people! And I don't need to see it/them/whatever so early in the morning. I try to work out 3-4 times a week and sometimes 5 depending on what mood and activity level I am feeling. I never was a huge work out person until a few years ago and I noticed that it helped allot with my overall feeling. It does not only help keep you fit/active*hello running after toddler is hard work* but it also helps me with the slight anxiety issues I have had in the past. I say past because since I started working out daily my anxiety has pretty much left the building....and I am pretty proud of myself for doing what I needed to do in order to get rid of it.....soon I will be starting martial arts program which one I have yet to decide but I know once I place that into my life I  will feel complete.

So back to the naked ass people. I am a in and out gym person. I go in crack out my work out and get the f*ck out. Even though I LOVE my gym their is no reason for me to hang out unless I am thinking of doing another round of cardio. I am not one of those mommy chicks that needs to spend 3 1/2 hours in the gym in order to think that they are getting more of a work out....not happening.  I am one busy ass mommy so I have allot of shit that keeps me busy during the day until it is time to pick up Ms. GG from preschool. After I am down with my WO I don't shower at the gym because sorry....ewwww no matter how clean it might seem it is not my clean. It's called shower funk people and I see more gals taking a communal shower in the gym without flip flops...bare.feet.on.tile.in GYM shower! I live so close to my casa I just jet back and take it the comfort and cleanliness of my serene and relaxing bathroom.

What gets me is the amount of naked flesh I see on a daily basis at the gym. It is not shocking but it is kind of weird maybe because I am so weird about showing my own body.  I am a pretty confident person but to go bare ass naked in the locker room area is just not me bag of beans. I keep my goodies wrapped up  - might sound prude but you know my ass will never show up on the internet with some awful comments about how fat my ass looks. I see it everyday women just hanging out butt naked some with awesome tight bodies and some with not just chit chatting away with each other BUTT ASS NAKED! I mean they just stand their with no qualms about their nakedness and talk about the weather or the latest cookie recipe. Perky boobs not so perky boobs,  fat ass and pancake pimple ass it is all out there in the open. I have seen such things in the locker room that eyes should have not seen*starfish*.   Let me just say this their are some people that need to visit a razor/waxing more often and their are some people that just need to keep their shit wrapped up. In an area of SAHM and a level of certain financial stability it is shocking to me how some chicks just don't take care of their overall "kooka" package. I got to give it to these ladies though you need to have some major huevos in order t just be so free with your body perfect and not so perfect.

Maybe someday I will be that comfortable......someday but for now I will keep my goodies wrapped and just for my husbands eyes.

My favorite time.....

What my daily life feels like some days 

of year is beginning right now. October and November and I can totally due without December.  I have never been a huge Xmas fan but that could have to do that I am still suffering major trauma from being in retail merchandising and I am still being deprogrammed. It takes a bit to get over the retail flashbacks...I still shudder anytime I pass a friggin Xmas tree with lights in a store before Halloween and let's not get started on what I would love to do to inflatable Rudolf. I started decorating the place last week for Halloween. We do not do the smiling and happy for Halloween we do creepy and gross that is what Halloween is about.  Need to still pick up some pumpkins but little GG and I were totally into it. I got to give it to my little one not scared of anything. As I hung the cocoon man on the tree she did not even flinch and she has a big smile on her face.  Thatta girl. I raise my daughter to be a little person I speak to her the same way I would speak to an adult none of the goo gooo gaaa hootchy kootchy  bullshit ova" here. I explained to her that these type of things are not real and she got it based on the fact that she was was wandering around the house with decorative body parts.......And telling my husband that the skeletons I hung from the tree were her friends and that she would visit them everyday...Ahhhh the things that little ones say......

Ummm mom looks like I got an extra foot here

Le door knocker

I did promise my husband this year that I would not watch any of the many awesome scary movies I usually watch this time of year in the presence of my little one. Now before anyone freaks out I do not watch slasher movies with my daughter present but I have had the movie Halloween in the background many times during this time of year I love love that movie and I love the music*HELLO they show the shit on TV so all the good parts are cut out plus that moves is not that scary*. Listen I watched back to back horror when I was preggos and my little doll is just fine.....Heh I watch the Mickey Mouse Club and to me that is the real horror.

Of course we had to glitter a pumpkin.....

This is just one of the cacoon men hanging out 

Now I have more to go it will be complete when I have the pumpkins in the area. Once again we are city dwellers so we do not have a bunch of room to do what I really want to do. Next year once we are outta here here then I will go all out. I feel bad for the fur monkeys right now because they are the ones who get glittered and are used as fit models for the many costume changes GG goes through the day. As you can see here Fur Monkey 2 is all about her accessories.

I feel so pretttty....sooo very pretty!

Happy Friday Gang!!!!!!!

What the HoLy HeLl...

has happened to cartoons?  As I am sitting here trying to blog my little brain out I have the most annoying ass cartoon drilling in my head. I think the annoying little girls voice is Dora the Explorer ...God I want to punch myself in the face a few times in order to make the madness STOP! I remember when cartoons were entertaining some of the cartoons today just SUCK. I get that they are teaching our kids some basic math and shit but DAMN can someone please tell me WTF has happened to the good old fashioned smart ass bitchiness of Daffy Duck and the dress in drag of Bugs Bunny? And how can we forget the lovable duo of  Tom & Jerry that crazy cat and mouse? Or the devilish plots to get the Road Runner with Wylie E. Coyote. I mean you though the stunts on Ridiculousness was bad how about checking out some of the things the coyote strapped on his back in order to get the quick ass body of the Road Runner?   Man even when we were learning from our cartoons we had the kick ass rock n roll style of School House Rock......I am Bill I'm only a Bill and I live on Capital Hill...Baby. Dora and Diego are annoying. I can only watch so much of the Mickey Mouse Club before I begin to cuss out both Mickey and Minnie. If I watch Cinderella one more time this week I will lose my shit......and for god's sake please someone get rid of the Backyardigans I can't listen to one more of their songs without wanting to puke. I have not problem admitting that some of the kids today have gone soft because of these cartoons.

 It might harsh but all you moms out there know what I am talking about when your little one goes through the phase of all cartoon all the time.  Oh yes I am one of the EVIL moms who allows her little darling to watch TV....OMG OMG someone call CPS. This bad mommy is warping her child's little brain. Listen dolls my daughter says please,  thank you and may I...she helps me with chores - feeding the dog, loading the dishwasher and helping me wash her clothes as well as wanting to know how to make her bed I have to take advantage of the help now because in a few years she will not lift her finger to help and will not want to be seen with me so you take what you can get when you can get it!  She takes a bath when I tell her and most of the time she listens unless she disappears to ToddlerLand which most 2 plus year old tend to do.  So if watching TV once in a bit is something my child wants to do have at it.  She is not going to turn into a serial killer because of it.  I might be getting old bitching about cartoons but I remember them being a whole lot more fun and interesting. It is like the music of today it has become stale, boring and digitized. Right now I am showing my little one the cartoons from Loony Tunes and Scooby Doo and she is loving it. I will show her how it was done in the "olden" days.

So sad that I

have to start doing some things I really don't want to do yet early in my GG's life  but because we live in this kind of f*cked up world with some awful disgusting people and some things have to come earlier than they should for our little ones. I have started the only mommy and daddy should see you naked do not talk to stranger dance. We have told her many times not to trust strangers period I do not care if she looks like your granny or the nice quite boy next door. YOU DO NOT TRUST anyone around your body period. It is so sad that it has come to this. We were hanging out with friends this weekend and they suggested we read GG the below book to get her comfortable with saying hell no you must go to anyone that comes near her "kooka" because if my daughter gets touched or messed with I am going to slice and dice some humans.  I am super protective just like every parent out there is when someone tries to mess with their child.  Just ask my husband what I did to the closet door a few years ago when someone completely blew my trust.  Heh...... not proud but you know what hey say don't mess with mama bear. I am also going through what needs to be done in case of an emergency and the 911 call. We have showed her where the earthquake prepare kit is and all the fun stuff that goes along with living in earthquake state.

Today I am catching up on reading some blogs as well as running 101 errands. I broke my key in my door lock yesterday{see I am strong} and had to deal with all that BS. I also have some coolio pics to post we started decorating the casa for Halloween. I am also trying to get my ass back to doing WTF Friday but as you know sometimes life gets in the way and you have to roll with the punches. Have a good day guys!

Dear Rihanna........

What the hell is going on with you girl? As I  watch the many news cast and pics on all the gossip sites I am stunned on how naive you could be... Now you can say all you want that you guys are working on a "friendship"*and we all know what working on a friendship means in Hollywood* but if a man was working on just a  "friendship" with you he would have not broken up with his girlfriend this past week. Another thing Ms. Rihanna you knew that Mr CB had a girlfriend yet you continued to work on your "friendship" while he was supposedly committed to another person. What the hell is up with that?   As a woman who has gone through heartbreak before you should know better than that. Oh and let's not forget one HUGE factor as why you broke off your relationship with CB in the first place. Do you remember that night that he did this to your face?

I know that some artist say I did not sign up to be a role model but you know what you kind of did when you signed the dotted line on the contract they finally handed to you after many years trying to get to the top. You not only signed up for the money, cars, stylist, lavish lifestyle but you also signed up to be worshiped by people that become your fans and many of your fans happen to be little girls/young women who look up to you. And I am sorry to say this Ms. Rihanna but what your telling some of these girls/women is that it is OK to go back to a woman beater.

I have seen many friends live through horrible, horrible physical abuse and it just boggles the mind that you would even consider getting back together with CB. Dude based on the police report he stomped on your face STOMPED and punched your beautiful face.  I have seen women with nothing get up and leave so they would not have to deal with daily physical blows and you who has MANY resources/money have chosen to go back? WHY?  You can say what you want that you are just friends but based on what I am seeing you guys have been hooking up for a bit.  Yes love can sometimes sucks and is hard but girl you need to love yourself more because a woman should never have a man do this to them.  As a person who has seen physical abuse front and center a man who does this to a woman will  eventually do it again. I am hoping I am wrong but remember a leopard cannot change it's spots.

Just my random thoughts.....

My ultimate............

nightmare is coming to life and their is no way I can stop it. I tried hard to fight it, avoid it never making eye contact but when I asked my darling ass GG what she wanted to be for Halloween the below is what she pointed to. Not once, not twice but three times. Believe me I asked her if she was sure time and time again while flipping through the other costume choices....Queen of Hearts perhaps...No....Maybe Alice in Wonderland a friggin strawberry fairy.....No...Nope....Ah come come on...GG let's see what else we have here. No...no mommy I want tis' one mama and once again pointed to..to...the below. Besides that my daughter is asking to wear pink everyday and her  favorite colors are now pink*shudder* and purple mama still buys the clothes in this house so what I buy goes. This might sound harsh but she is allowed to wear whatever she wants in the house she gets to chose her play clothes her out in public clothes are my domain until she reaches the age that she can participate in the purchasing of her clothes i.e. her ass will be getting a part time job just like my happy ass did when I turned the age of 14.

I could not speak, could not say anything but just stare at this cotton candy pink fluffy and did I mention pink...Augh Princess dress. The whole concept of the princess scares the shit out of me I am not going to lie....I am a black wearing, scary movie watching, Rob Zombie worshiping attitude mommy.  I know get over it but it is just not something I have ever believed in. I see adult women out there wearing tiara's and wearing stupid t shirts with stupid sayings AND then every friggin wanna be bride first thing out of their mouths when they are asked what kind of wedding they are picturing/dress they want the first stupid word that comes out of their mouths is the damn P word. OH STFU come up with something a little bit more original will ya! The Princess line has been played out.

WHY why out of all that is holy this.......I  decided that since it was Halloween she should go dressed as what she wanted..kinda mama will be making a little twist to her costume. First of all I am not going to spend way over 100.00 for a Halloween costume. Yes I am insane when it comes to shopping but I would never spend that much money on something she is going to wear once and no offense but some of these costumes are not very well made even for that amount of money. I decided to cruise Etsy and I found myself a vendor that makes some awesome ass tutu's and I am going to work around that tutu. I also can use the tutu again for when she goes to her ballet class and I know her happy ass with wear the shit out of that tutu around the house.  I would love for her to go as like a prom queen who was slashed by a killer that escapes the asylum...Mmmmm but my husband is like DUDE she is like 2 1/2 you can't traumatize her that way. Oh come one that's no fun.....Halloween is supposed to be scary not happy. But I know that she will eventually break my softy ass but I figured if we worked on the costume together it would make it more of a fun project we can do together.

I wonder how long this pink/purple princess phase will last? Some of my been there done that parents told me to get ready for a long ride. Oh gosh how about after this princess phase she is going to come up to me and tells me she wants to be a cheerleader OH CHRIST!

Back to the.....

grind.....Yes my darlings it has been almost 5 days since I posted last. It has been a  pretty hectic month and I have no damn idea where September went? Hello WTF how did it go by so fast? I am still in summer mode and the SOB department stores already have their Xmas shit out....I really would love to find out who the hell makes up these new holiday schedules...Satan perhaps? The weather here in the bay has hit into Indian Summer overdrive....today in my little area by the sea it will be a record breaking 90 which never happens....it is kind of unheard of. So the fans are out, the fur and human babies are pissed and will be hosed down through the day and I am trying to stay cool. This month has kind of been kinda of a change month for me. I am trying to work out everyday, got back on WW, finally stopped digging my heels and decided to move {325 days left}, hopefully getting my business off the ground {my child is my numero uno priority right now everything else is second} and got rid of another toxic friendship.  The last one on my list of I am over 40 and will not take any BS from anyone anymore. It felt good it really did. I just figured if I spent most of the time trying to figure out what was not true and what was actual fact the friendship was not worth the try. I knew I was heading the right path when my husband started to notice holes in stories and the obscene amount of major drama that would happen one day and completely disappear the next.  Stories were always changing and when you have to keep tabs on shit like that it is time just to move on and cut the ties. Their was just entirely too much "stuff" happening.

I have been uncomminicado for the last few days because I was up in a quaint little river town in the Napa Valley called Guerneville. We try and go every year we rent a huge house and have the whole family up for some fun, sun, vino and more fun.  It was exactly what we needed and it was nice and war. Swam in the pool and just relaxed in the hot tub. We bbq every night and most of the days were just plain zoning out when we were not chasing the kids and dogs around. It was fun and much needed. It is now October and I am ready to do some Halloween damage. I started to get the scary Halloween shit out of the attic and found some new fun stuff today. It is really weird how I am beginning to decorate for Halloween and it is so hot outside our usual crazy weather...woot...woot. Today I am up to the same ol same ol. Getting menus prepped, cleaning and organizing the casa, getting the little one ready for preschool and doing all that needs to be done by the SAHM General. I will also be visiting the rest of my bloggy friends to see what you all have been up to.

Later peeps