The case of the dissapearing...

friends. COme on now we have all had this case happen to us one day you guys are connected to the hips in the following years the friends just disappear.Now we have had some friends "disappear" and we were really happy that they did disappear those were the fare weather friends much like the fans that jump on a teams wagon when they are winning and all is good...you know the type as long as their was liquor flowing and the party was going they were around...when the shit hit the fan those were the first ones that took a hike. Those are people that no longer matter and after much agonizing bullshit you go through you finally are so relieved of their drama that you feel like a huge rock has been lifted from your shoulders. Life has been pretty much a light and bright since we got rid of the stink and started to hang out with "normal" people. But that is cool because at that point you saw who your real friends were and along the way we have made some new true friends that we can see in our lives for a long time. Making friends after 40 is never easy but your older and wiser and smell the crap allot sooner than you were in your late 20's still trying to fit in. You cut the tumors right out.



Now saying this, their are also the ones that have just disappeared that we cared for immensely and we have no idea what the hell happened. I have had this happen to family members, my husband and myself. What the f*ck? One case in particular where everything was fine, the person was here through our daughters birth and after and then all of sudden he dropped off the face of the earth. This person was a super close friend of my husbands. We have called and tried to Facebook him but he just stopped communicating with my husband and it appears with just the old party crew. I know my husband says it does not bother him but I can tell it does especially when he has called many many times and he has not bothered to call back. These guys were pretty much glued to the hips for years. Now I understand that things change, people grow and you have your own families to tend to, but throughout the years no matter how long these two did not communicate it would just take one phone call and everything would be right back were it started. I do not know what happened but I thought more of this person that to just poof be gone from our lives.

This also leaves these questions? How long and for how long do you give a shit? When do you stop trying and just walk away and let it be?  Or do you continue trying and just get knocked over every time you try to communicate with the person?

Shit...am I really having....

to have to through this "stuff" with my 4 year toddler daughter already? My GG asked me if she could grow out her hair a bit longer..I said no problem as long as she kept a clip on her bangs so she did not see hair in her face.

I asked her "GG are you excited to grow your hair longer?"
She said "Yes mama I am so excited"
I responded "GG you have such a great shade of light brown, so pretty."
She looked at me with this horror look on her face.
"But mama I don't want brown hair........ brown hair is....is.... icky...I want long blond hair".
I go why?
She said because blond hair makes you better and prettier

I almost shit my pants as picked my jaw off the floor. I sat my daughter down and explained that this was bullshit {and YES I used the word bullshit} and that was not accurate. I explained to her that all hair color is beautiful and not one type of hair color. Just like all skin color is beautiful, all eye color. We all come in every shape and color and that one "type" of look is  not better than the next.

I once was that so hopeful future mom who said their is NO way in HELL my daughter will have barbies and the Disney chicks in the house blah blah blah...well fast forward 4 years later and my damn house has become a orgy haven of naked Barbies and half dressed Disney characters. I had to troll sites for Anna from Frozen and my awesome MIL spent way too much on the Elsa doll that she happened to find. Oh...you can try to resist the "Barbie/Disney  "movement" but you can't.  I resisted as much I could but eventually you too will trampled by the mass marketing machine.   Non bull shit these kids brains get hit on a daily basis. And even if you limit the time via TV/IPAD/IPHONE they will still get the 411 from their other toddler friends at preschool. So with the dolls comes the image the image of what is considered "beautiful and accepted" in our society. I am trying my best to expose my daughter to all types of cultures and lifestyles and hope what I am teaching her now will stick.



Note - You know what pisses me off to end though if you do watch Tangled what it is saying towards the end when she cuts her hair is that short brown hair is icky and only when you have long blond hair is when your special and have power. Mmmmm....pfft.....

Overly sensitive wimpy boys......

I am scared that my lovely daughter is going to bring one of these home...god forbids I would rather she bring home some Goth wanna be band member than one of these boys. I have noticed a pattern in the last few years especially being around kids SOME {not all let's just get that right out}boys have just become whiny, wimpy and not tough. I see them on the playground, I see them at the pools I see them at my daughters self defense classes,  I see them everywhere. Crying, whining and just being big old fat cry babies. They cry at the drop off the hat, they are scared of EVErything, they can't go down a slide without being held by their mommies.They take a tumble and the moms just FREAK out to the point that they end up freaking out the kid even more.  In the mean time I look around and see the girls in the same age brackets...KICKIN ass and taking names. Not scared, tough and just living their little lives. I mean my 4 year old girl toddler graduated to the adult roller coaster at the fair this year{she is tall} she got on that thing with no fear....she went on that roller coaster 12 times that day. I don't get it and I don't remember it being this bad. Some boys have become just so sensitive.

I remember the first time my daughter fell and I looked at her and told her to suck it up{which she did} the look of horror on the other moms face on the playground was priceless. Is this part of the problem are some moms just being too over protective? It scares me that some days these whiny little boys will become adult size whiny little men- which in the bay area has become an epidemic.

What is happening and did I miss a memo that this was going to become the norm?  Or maybe I am just a ball buster with my daughter that is making her into a future ball busting independent woman? Mmmmmm