Wednesday, June 15, 2011

These are the days of our ....

Gym! As I stand on one of the precor machines and climb to no where, Ipod  in....motivating work out music {J-Lo's new album - which I have worn out it is so good}. Nice to have you back girrrrllllll!

I am privy to many sights and sounds while I get my work out on....Yes I am listening to my tunes but because I am old {ah ah} and I do not want to rupture my ear drums I keep the volume to a minimum so I cannot help but hear what is going on around me...Sometimes it is amusing, sometimes...Ewwww TMI people! I tend to get bored during some sessions and no amount of up beat tunes can snap me out of it -sooooo I do the next best thing.....I examine my surroundings and the people in it. Their are a few "types" I have noticed that frequent the gym.

  • The "Wanderer" you never really see this type working out or sweating all they do is wander the gym and just hang out.....Oookkkkkey I can think of a 100 other places I would rather wander...Neiman Marcus, Saks the local frozen yogurt shop....
  • The "Mirrorator"...you know the type -  I am too sexy...so fine..... let me do some reps with weights and check out my hot bod in the gym mirrors...oh yeah...Whatever...Geeze!
  • MC MILF - this species is not like the OC milf two totally different types....MC Milf super skinny {from not consuming any type of carb}....sLadies there is nothing wrong with a few carbs - moderation. I would think you would want some nice JLO, Kim K booty instead of looking like a boy from behind. Always in LuLuLemon black work out gear, 90/10 a brunette with silky hair in a ponytail.  Also the boob job epidemic has not hit NCAL as bad as SCAL. The ladies here are a little more natural looking. A little more NYC. They tend not to look like inflatable porno dolls! Sorry....gang but RHOOC as well as other SCAL shows do not help the stereotype.....
  • The "Make Up Lizard" /looking for hubby/BF/ - Full on war paint at the gym, I am talking the whole 9 yards including fake eyelashes.. YEP fake eyelashes. You can see the cover up melt off her face while she is sweating away.  I am all about make up but not at the gym. The only thing you need is some tinted moisturizer from protection from the sun.
  • The "Vocalizer" the gym and all the county knows what you had for dinner, and what type of advanced math class your child is in....Inside voices I have tried to master this myself since I am loud as hell.
  • The "Sweatanator" the disgusting human who pours sweat all over cardio machines and does not take the time to wipe down once they are done leaking all over the machine. Common courtesy douche bag ! I do not want the nasty germs...I have a toddler and I have had enough colds this year - Thank you very much...That is why I disinfect my machines before I even step on them...Pfft .....Gross
  • The "Overworkout Warrior" - I know that it is good for you to work out BUT DAMN how many hours can you do it for. Some of these people are always there and you can tell from their bodies{not in a good way} that they have succumb to the gym god {eyes are glazed, no expression on faces, Madonna like arms}.....Get the picture?
  • And last but certainly not least - The "Regulator" regular ass people like me who go in,  beat out their 60 minute work out and get the frig oughtta there.
So let me ask...if working out gives you an endorphin "high" which make you happy......why does everyone always look so pissed off?????

This that make you go Mmmmmmm

Happy Hump Day

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